We grew up together. We explored life together. We raised a family. We loved each other. We grew up some more. We got lost in each other’s arms. We made mistakes. We danced and held hands. We supported each other’s decisions. We prayed together. We grew up some more. We went through loss – trials, and successes together. We laughed and cried when it was called for. We grew old together. We will reach heaven and we will continue through eternity – together.
Cancer is an ugly word, that can work its way into your daily vocabulary in a matter of seconds. It’s a word we try to avoid saying. It’s something no one wants to deal with. It can break relationships, seal them, cause them to infect every aspect of everything you experience in life. Each day of last week was a blessing. When the sun rose each morning, the man I love was there beside me. Still breathing. Sleeping peacefully. As I watched his chest go up and down with each breath, I thanked God for another day for us – together. Ours is just another love story filled with amazing joy, sadness, frustrations, rebuilding, stressing out, disagreeing, giving in, compromise, patience and God at the center.
Sunday we went to church – a habit that we are happy to be back into. This is our only clue to what day of the week it actually is, but it is also a time to connect with friends, to pray for answers, to thank God for His blessings – all of which are desperately needed right now. Both of us felt somewhat overwhelmed from the previous week, but we weren’t broken. Life still is available to us. Our prayers are going to be answered and many of them already have been. We’re using this time to share with each other.
Monday – no appointments, so we decided to take a little road trip. These short getaways are just what the doctor ordered for. They allow us time together. It gives us time away from all the noise of construction in our neighborhood. We get to see some beautiful areas within a short distance from our home. Paul’s happy place has always been in nature and the outdoors. Most of his paintings are produced from memories of them. I love looking at the majesty of God’s creation and the lines upon lines of forests, filled with staunch pine trees, like an army of soldiers in perfect formation.
Tuesday was another free day, but we slept a little longer than usual and didn’t get much done in the morning. A friend from our past called to talk to Paul and it was like a light going off in his face when he realized who it was. A blast from the past, renewed his smile and brought back some wonderful memories. A good friend of mine also called and she and I had lunch. We talked about our husbands. Hers had passed away a few years ago. We talked about life and death – we laughed – we shed a few tears and we ate a lot. In times of overwhelming information, sadness, fear of the future it’s just good to escape to another place. We’ve never denied each other from doing things that we enjoy doing apart from each other. I believe that has solidified our marriage in a very special way.
Wednesday brought another road trip after a lot of frustration with technology, setting new appointments and getting “scram” calls. Paul has always professed to being an 1800s guy and is averse to anything computer oriented. Because of that, I decided to have his health information sent to me rather than him. That way I could monitor things for him and save him the anxiety. Little things like that seem so important right now. Our little journey this day took us to Taylor’s Falls on the border between Wisconsin and Minnesota. The bluffs are always breathtaking. The falls and the river are equally beautiful, but in a car it’s quite difficult to capture those hidden spots. Not to mention, as you drive along it’s difficult to get a picture that doesn’t move along with the car. It was a lovely diversion. We returned home to find a survey from our insurance company regarding gender identity. The numbers astounded me. The world is changing so much. It makes us long for heaven in these difficult times. Just another chink in the armor, I guess.
Thursday was grocery shopping day for me. This is becoming less and less fun, yet I don’t want to order online. I like to feel the tomatoes and squeeze the melon. I enjoy choosing my own meat from the butcher and selecting bakery items that we especially like. With that being said, I still bag my own groceries and load them in and out of the car. My legs were yelling obscenities at me when I finally completed the dastardly deed. The afternoon was spent at the funeral of a dear lady of 95 who was a member of our church. A funeral for those of us who know death holds no sting, is more like a victory celebration, because we know what’s on the other side.
Friday – Much needed rain finally fell this past +week. The garden flowers are getting close to their peak. I marvel at how they survive in times of drought or too much water. God is always caring for His creatures as well as His creation. If we had more patience, we’d see that He is always faithful. Since it was an uneven day, I was able to give them an additional drink, but God’s water is so much more refreshing for everything. Our son came over and spend the afternoon simply visiting. This is really important for us right now. Our family has always been close. We miss these times of one-on-one with them. Just sharing our thoughts, our prayers, our simple goals for each day, our love, our partnership, our lives, gives us strength – even when we feel helpless or hopeless. We are blessed to have each other to lean on as well as our God, who changes not. I thank God that He has given us each other to lean on as well.
Saturday – Today we will share another fun day with close friends. We are truly blessed.
Next week is going to be crazy with appointments. Is this how we will spend the days allotted to us? Trying to find a balance is difficult, because the appointments are important in Paul’s decision making regarding his health care. Balance does come, however. We will be sharing time with that old friend and his wife that surprised Paul with a phone call. We will attend the 60th anniversary celebration with another couple we’ve known for years. A Pet Scan is scheduled for July 31st, which should give even more information to absorb.
Fridays are for fun, so here are a few funnies for those of us who have turned the corner – so to speak. It’s also National Junk Food Day, so get yourself a greasy hamburger, some fries and anything over 500 calories. Don’t feel guilty. It’s National Junk Food Day. Just keep some Pepto Bismol around. Have a great weekend.
I’m certain to get a reaction from my post today. It is not my intention to judge. I am a sinner, just like everyone else on this planet. Everyone I know, knows I believe in God. I trust everything in His Holy Word, the Bible, to be truth. I grew up in a Christian home, with values and morals that fell into that category. I’ve been aware of all the information being fed to our current society about gender identity and I can’t not express my opinion on the situation. When I was a child – which was a long time ago – gender was identified as Male or Female. There was no “other” choice. When God created the world, He made a man. There was something good about everything He created, but something was lacking. The man needed a companion, a helper, a person who would be close to his heart. So, God removed one of Adam’s ribs and created Eve, a woman who would help, advise, stand beside, work together with, share in his labors and the fruits which resulted.
There has been a surge in gender identity in the last several years. Did you know there are at least 72 known genders in the world today? 72 and counting. What really brought this home to me was a recent survey from our insurance company which addressed this very issue. It listed many of the known genders of today and asked which one we claimed for our own. Male and Female were at the bottom of the list. I became curious to know what each of them were and how they came about. I will not state my exact feelings on the numbers, but I am stunned by the issues that result from them. Most of them stem from sexual orientation, though some of them have nothing to do with sex at all. Words like non-binary, trans gender are more concerned with physical traits and changes to alter them. The survey was kind of an assortment of choices which would make filling out health forms gender appropriate.
I realize this is a touchy subject, but I would be remiss if I didn’t express my opinion. Lately, we’ve been filling out a lot of health forms. I’ve actually been thinking about making copies of each one and bringing them to each appointment, so we don’t have to go through this each time. I also wonder why all this supposed “on file” information within the computer network is, but that’s a whole other post. It also affects our relationships with each other. How do we address each other? It used to be a matter of he or she – now there’s a whole new vocabulary assigned to humanity. The list is endless.
God knew what He was doing when He created male and female. They were meant to complement one another – not to be slaves, underlings, insignificants, but joined together as one, to create more human beings and share life together under God’s perfect plan for humanity. It might be a better idea to return to God’s original design. I wish not to offend anyone with my words. I simply want to express my feelings. We still have that right in our country and I thank God for that too.
The opaque murkiness of an impenetrable sky surrounds you. Your mind swirls with empty thoughts. You feel alone, lost, unapproachable, frightened. There is nothing but darkness. There is the apprehension of mystery when you’re in complete blackness – a somberness that encumbers you – shrouds you yet causes you to scream for just a tiny glimmer of light. Your heart pounds within your chest – beating like the sound of a dusty old grandfather clock. Your ears listen attentively to each and every sound with anticipation, fear, insufficiency, helplessness. You grope frantically for one beam – one lonely beam of light to free you from the grip of this umbrage.
Your eyes plead for just a small glimpse of light and then it happens. A small star in the distant empty sky slowly moves towards you. The light that shines from it reflects to other heavenly bodies and they too come to life. This one glimmer of light now encompasses the entire sky and it’s as if someone turned on the switch. Your eyes open wide. You breathe it all in. You feel its warmth. Every sense is enlivened by the glory of it. You are released from the mantle of uncertainty. The pall has been lifted. God is in His heaven, and He has shattered the darkness.
I wonder what it was like to live in the 1800s. The ideas and inventions of that time were countless and changed the way Americans lived until the dawn of the current age of technology. It’s fun to think of how things might have been during Mark Twain’s lifetime. An easier, carefree existence where you could lay on a raft in the middle of the river and contemplate the clouds as you floated along, but was it?
Even Mark Twain complained of the lack of action in Congress and the foolishness of any who entered the political arena. I wonder how he would have reacted to our current political sideshow. Maybe things don’t really change much. We continue to have flaws, we achieve greatness through various processes, we love, we deceive, philander, cheat and lie. We sin. We aren’t much different than the characters God tells us about in the Bible. He uses those examples of real-life situations to show us that we are all flawed, but we have One who will rescue us from all of the perils on this side of eternity. In spite of our sins – in spite of our wanderings – in spite of it all – God never changes. His love never fails.
Times of turmoil and anguish will live with us until we die, but we can rest in God’s promise of an eternal life of untarnished bliss when we reach heaven.
Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
The world has had electricity for some time now. Soon we’ll be plugging everything in, including our cars, our bodies, technology and artificial intelligence. Power comes from somewhere. Many things are used to create it – things like oil, coal and other natural resources. As Ben Franklin was flying his kite one day, he was in for a big shock. Harnessing that power was another thing altogether. Names like Westinghouse and Tesla come to mind.
I’m not an expert on electricity. I’m not an expert on much, but I do know it’s unwise to plug a hair dryer in while you’re in the bathtub. I know I’ll get a shock in the winter when the heat turns on and the air is dryer. I know that static electricity makes my hair do weird things. Most of us, unless we’re electrical engineers, don’t know what makes electricity happen. We know how to use it, but we don’t know all the ins and outs of it. I wonder about stuff like plugging in a car to an electrical outlet and how long that car will stay charged. I get confused when I think about how long that power source will last. I wonder if we’re just exchanging one thing for another to alter our environment. I wonder if somewhere down the road the power will eventually dry up and there will be no more. I wonder why I wonder about such things.
When I think about how this world was created in the first place, there must’ve been all kinds of signs pointing to an amazing amount of power. It’s from that source that all things were created in six days. Impossible? Nothing is impossible with God. What is your power source? Do you rely on scientists and experts to figure things out for you? Do you trust their judgement? Do you take advantage of all the power that’s available to each of us today? Are you dependent on that power to make it through each day? With God as your source of power, you are placing complete trust in Him alone to give you the strength to get through anything. You can plug into Him anytime, night or day. You really don’t even need to plug Him in – He’s there right now, with you. Each day, I’m learning to depend on His power. With each trial, I know that I’m not alone. With every challenge, I know my strength will come from Him. Who needs electricity when you have access to the greatest power source ever?
When days seem endless – when the world seems to come tumbling down upon you – when you think you can go no further – when tears overtake you – when prayers seem to go unanswered – when death seems imminent. Those are just a few examples that we face as we go through life. We might even wonder why we must endure these things or that it would be better to have that life snuffed out and forgotten. We go into a dark place. We think things that we never would otherwise. We feel hemmed in, helpless and at times hopeless.
In my case, I have been on a long journey towards my Savior. I grew up in a church going family. I went to Christian schools. I met and fell in love with the love of my life. We raised a family together. We shared pain, suffering, loss, joy, peace, contentment, success and failure, but each of those things were just part of the growing up process. It’s taken a lifetime for me to really understand the One Thing that’s important to get us through this journey. I may never fully grasp complete understanding, but this I know. Without God, life is pointless.
He is the One Thing that will never waiver. He will always lead, guide, protect and shield me from whatever comes my way. He has a plan for every human being He places upon His earth. He nurtures that life – gives it meaning – tests it – pursues it – restores it and saves it. What is the one thing that gives your life purpose? Learn about your Creator. He loves you more than you can possibly imagine and His love endures forever.
I’ve decided to keep track of some of the lessons we’re learning as we enter this challenging part of our life’s journey together. Some of you may get tired of hearing our story. Some may learn along with us. Some might even benefit. God has a plan for each of us. He wrote the blueprint before we ever came into being. He knew the number of our days. He knew who we’d fall in love with, how many children we’d have, how relationships would be formed, how challenges would crush us at times, but through it all, He also knew that we are His children, and He loves us with an unconditional love. I plan to list some of the highlights and lowlights of this expedition and some of the emotions that surface as we walk through them. Bear with me. I’m still in the learning process myself.
For the past two years, my husband Paul has been undergoing serious health issues. One thing leads to another and eventually his last hospital visit revealed several things. He had a small stroke. He has an aneurysm. He has a heart valve that needs replacing. He was anemic and needed three transfusions of blood. He is also dealing with scar tissue from treatment of prostate cancer twelve years ago. In a cat scan of his upper body, a mass was found in his chest. The mass was biopsied two weeks ago and found to be cancer. Last week felt like a barrage of new information, unwanted diagnoses and confusion, tears and prayers.
Sunday – We went to church to give thanks, praise and honor our God. Some of the hymns we sang brought a tear or two to my eyes. The message was uplifting and showed the importance of our knowing both the law and Gospel of God. We were joined in fellowship with other believers, who hugged us, listened to us and cried with us. Having a good support system is vital in these situations. Took some photos of my garden. Trying to find beauty in the chaos.
Monday – I spent the morning rehearsing with my Jewels of deNial for a performance we had scheduled for Wednesday evening. Time was filled with laughter and some tears. Again, another wonderful support group that keeps me laughing.
Tuesday – We spent close to two hours at the oncologist’s office. The first hour was spent filling out forms. These were so repetitive and frustrating for Paul to do alone, so we finally found a system that allowed me to ask and write down the answers while he gave them to me. When we finally got in to see the doctor – who is amazing btw – we were already worn out. She explained all the potential options for treatment of this new cancer. She was very thorough, understanding and compassionate. I couldn’t hear everything she said, because of my hearing issues. My cane kept falling down as we sat there. Paul immediately bonded with her because she’s from Germany. His German heritage is from the same area of the world. By the time we left her office and went back out to finish the forms, both of us were mentally exhausted. I felt more confused than before we met.
Wednesday – An appointment was set for Paul to get a Dexa scan. We had to travel to another town to get it. We got slightly diverted, but it turned out to be a lovely drive through some forested areas. The scan took about fifteen minutes, but the trip there and back took almost two hours. During these drives we’re discovering more and more about each other. We’ve been married almost 59 years, but I keep learning new things about this man that I love with all my heart. In the evening, I performed along with my Jewels for a huge crowd. They laughed a lot and it made me happy to make them smile.
Thursday – Met with Genetic counselor. This was all new to us as well. It is designed to give you and your family some information for their own health records. In other words it’s basically checking your DNA and determining possible illnesses that could be hereditary. What I learned from that experience is that we know how old our ancestors were when they died, but we certainly didn’t know much about what caused their death. I do know that in my grandparents lifetime, diseases carried a certain stigma and they never wanted to reveal them. The whole process could also affect future generations from getting life insurance, because of their hereditary markers. So that we decided against doing that.
Friday – Our heads were swimming with new information – old information and information overload, so we decided it was time for another road trip. Our car is getting lots of use lately. Our time together in that car is precious. We’re sharing our feelings, but I’m praying that the right decisions will be made. When someone has so many things wrong with them, the health care becomes very complicated.
Saturday – Today, I’ve been up since five o’clock. I slept well. the skies are again filled with Canadian smoke. Not sure what today will bring, but I’m confident that God is with us.
“All flesh is grass, and all its beauty is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades when the breath of the Lord blows on it; surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.
Proverbs 20:1 ESV
Last night the sounds of thunder crashing and hail falling could be heard outside our window. For a while there, I thought I was going to have to go outside and do a rain dance, but God knew that would not be a pretty sight, so he sent refreshing rain instead. We have not had rain in abundance for several weeks now. Farmers are definitely concerned about their crops. The birds and critters living outside are searching for a place to take a bath or get a refreshing drink. We sometimes feel like we’re living in a desert – alone – with no sight of water – no oasis to refresh – no cool contentment from the heat. Rain is like a balm for withering spirits, for parched emotions and dehydrated souls. In the summer, rain is a welcome relief, especially for our lawns as they’ve all gone back into dormancy.
As I look out at the yard this morning, life has been restored. Leaves that were becoming brown from baking in the sun were now refreshed and alive. As I look out at the expanse, I can’t help but think about God’s timeless tending of His creation. When it seems everything you care about is coming to an end – when you feel dried out and worthless – when your body won’t respond to simple things like getting out of bed or brushing your teeth – when you want to crawl deeper into the hole you’ve created for yourself – that’s when God comes in. He will not give us more than we can handle. When it comes to that point, He provides a way out. He sends the refreshing rain for you to dance in. He gives hope, strength, healing and power to press on. Like the grass, we are precious to HIm.
Thank and praise Him for His wonderful gifts. Trust in HIs unfailing love. Today is a new day. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow will be even better.
The Jewels of deNial performing “Side Window,” at Lord of Life Church in Ramsey for the Ramsey Lions – Viva Howard, Barb Hynes-Tomczyk, Christine Tauer, Kathy Boecher. Dee Moore1
When I was a little girl, I felt it my obligation to entertain. We would often have performances for relatives at family reunions and would even set up a stage in the backyard for neighborhood shows. My middle grandson was compelled to make people laugh. He intended to do that as his job in the future. He also aspired to being a Walmart greeter, but eventually realized that wasn’t his true calling. My neighbors and relatives weren’t always thrilled to be in my “shows,” but that didn’t deter me. I pushed and prodded. I promised them homemade cookies. I bribed them with all sorts of rewards, and it did become my career later in life. I wanted to be a brain surgeon at one point. I longed to be a teacher, a writer, a comedian and was able to do most of those things within my lifetime. The brain surgeon thing kind of fell by the wayside.
I retired six years ago, but didn’t really. The urge to make people laugh, to forget their problems for a little while, to brighten their day was always a goal for me. Last night, the theatre troupe I belong to, had a scheduled performance for the Lions Club. With all the challenges we’ve been dealing with personally, I felt torn about performing. I had obligations that were tugging me in several directions, but my darling husband encouraged me to go on with the show. He reminded me why I do this job. It’s to bring a little sunshine to someone else’s life for a moment. I felt guilty. I felt conflicted. Would I be able to do this without succumbing to a pail full of tears? The time came. I went. The show brought lots of laughs from the audience, and I felt good about that. I am so fortunate to be able to continue doing the things I love to do. I’m blessed to have a wonderful spouse who encourages me every day. We have amazing friends and extended family who care about us. My own family is so much more than I ever dreamed they could be. Not only are they a great support for us, but they believe in God and His will for our lives.
So, as people look at my blog posts each day, they probably wonder what is going on with this woman. Why is she putting herself out there in front of an audience when she should be spending time with her husband? How can she even think about herself at a time like this? I suppose I’d ask the same questions. If I were to say it wasn’t a matter of pride or glory, there would be questions too. This is one of my jobs – to make people laugh – to show them there is another side to living than just feeling sad all the time – to lift them out of the pits and by so doing, I’m lifting myself out as well.
I love my husband with all my heart. He has been my best friend forever. He is going through a decision making process regarding his health – his future treatment and his eventual entrance into heaven. We both know that he’s going there and that I will join him at some point. Maybe I’ll even get there first. Who knows? I’m confident that God knows, and He is directing everything we do here on earth.
When we’re going through a difficult patch in our lives, we try to manage the outcome ourselves. We look at how we can choose a different direction – how we react to a change in our health – or a challenge that seems insurmountable. You would think that by going through so many different roadblocks and detours, we are being crushed along the way, How do we move forward, when we know we may not live to see what’s next? How do we push forward, when it seems that there is no reason to fight anymore? How do we overcome those obstacles without losing our minds, crying ourselves to sleep or giving up?
The Bible is filled with stories like those mentioned above. The tale of Job and his battle with life and death situations is meant to give us an example of how to turn our cares over to God. This guy had everything a man could want. He had a large family, a good wife, material things, land, cattle, money. He continued to serve God throughout his life, but then things started to go sour. He lost everything all at once. No more kids, no land, no cattle, no money and he was sick to top it off. Certainly God doesn’t want us to go through trials. He intended for our lives to be perfect. He is not responsible for our troubles. Those were created a long time ago in a beautiful garden called Eden. Through all his trials, Job listened to his friends spout off reasons for the pain he was going through. They even suggested that he had done something to displease God. Through it all, Job remained faithful to God, but more importantly, God remained with him through it all. He never left Job. He continued to send His angels to minister to him. After the testing was over, Job was restored beyond what he had before. All the pieces were falling into place.
Our earthly troubles may seem meaningless compared to Job’s, but are they? We struggle through a lifetime of ups and downs. Our hearts break. Our bodies grow weary with age. Our minds become clouded with too much information. We get sick. We face death. Yet through it all, God is there. He is with us always. That is comfort we can count on, even when it all seems hopeless. He never changes, in spite of all the changes we encounter. He remains faithful, constant, ever present, eternal and loving. All we need do is turn to Him for answers. He has our lives in His hands. He will never let us go.
Paul and I recently sorted through some pictures we’ve stored over on our phones. We came upon this painting that Paul did a while back. He sent it to me to share on my blog today. I don’t have a poem to go with it yet, but I thought it so beautiful and significant to the power of God that I wanted all of you to see and enjoy it.
Paul has an amazing gift for capturing light in the moment. He has painted many lovely works of art outdoors. I know I’ve seen this work before, but somehow, it’s hiding somewhere in our upstairs area with many others, away from our view. So often we hide some of the most wonderful talents and gifts that God gives us. We may do so, not to show off or gain praise for ourselves. We may not feel that we’ve done our best. The special abilities that God gives us are meant to be shared with others. Every gift from Him provides us with something we can give away. That’s a true blessing that we don’t often give thanks for.
We are given an average lifetime of 70-80 years. In the scheme of things, we are not using those gifts as we should. Why hide them in storage? Why put them in a box where no one can see them? Why do we limit ourselves when God has given us so much to share? In that life span, we waste more time than we use. Time is also a gift, so put your time and talent together and you have a recipe for an amazing life. It isn’t going to guarantee a perfect life, but one that is filled with experiences that will perfect you for eternity. Let your light shine. It could make a huge difference in the life of another person.
Most of us don’t go into a relationship thinking it’s a temporary arrangement. We think of a long term, from here to eternity, everlasting kind of love. The kind of love that has no end. It sounds very romantic and almost ethereal, because every relationship here on earth is often peppered with self-absorption, salted with selfishness, and seasoned with negativity and often times problems. Petty disagreements can lead to all out fights and eventually separation.
God doesn’t think like us mere mortals. He’s God. His perception of us is much different than ours. He knows all about us and He wants us to be happy. His love will never end, because of those emotions. It isn’t because of our perfect behavior, the amount of money we give to the church or charity, the volunteer hours we’re stacking up in order to feel good about ourselves. It’s because of God’s perfect love – a love we will never be able to replicate. Our good deeds are nothing but filthy rags to Him.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if other relationships were like that? If people would open their hearts and hands to those they cherish the most – To put them first – To be willing to make sacrifices – To forgive, forget, to love perfectly. It would even be better if we were that way with our friendships, our co-workers, the waitress who serves us, the teller at the bank. Think of how things would change if we could only love with the unconditional love God offers us every day.
Our last few years have made things more difficult. We’ve cocooned for a long time now and have forgotten how to be kind to each other. We’ve gotten used to isolation. I supposed some prisoners eventually submit to their way of life after a time. We can sit and complain about it, or we can do something to make it change. Maybe today is the best day to start. Use words like compassion, kindness, encouragement, hope, faith, love, friendship in your vocabulary. Share the love that Jesus poured out for you on the cross. Let others know that they have that same gift available to them.
Life is too short to spend alone. We need each other and the best way to achieve that perfection is to be the first one to start the conversation.
Being alone is not always a bad thing. When we’re alone, we often tend to feel lonely – apart from others – let down – fearful – confused. Those same emotions can cover us when we’re in a room filled with people. There are days when we need time alone. We need to process, to sort through, to categorize our lives. We need to talk to God – one on one. We need those private times to cry, to laugh, to grieve, to wait, to think. I remember when my grandma would go out to the woods and sit by herself for an hour or so and do exactly that. She was a strong woman, with a great faith, but her life was filled with tragedy after tragedy. She muddled through those difficulties, but she also found it necessary to be alone for a while to regroup. Those moments gave her the strength and courage to push on. It also gave her a time to check in with her Creator who was right there with her all the way.
We can’t stay in that aloneness forever. We all need to have people in our lives too. Some of us need the company of others and the conversations more than others. I’m one of those who prefer the aloneness time. Maybe that’s why I write. It gives me an opportunity to step away from the crowd and enter my own cubicle for a moment. I can pour my liquid prayers out on a page of words much better than I can do so in person.
If you feel guilty asking for alone time, don’t. Remember we are never, ever really alone. God is with us all the way – from our conception to our death and beyond. He will never leave us. He will always provide the answers you need. He is in charge of all your troubles, worries and pain. He will give you a way out of situations that you thought were impossible.
My husband has carried a small rock in his pocket for as long as I’ve known him. It isn’t a lucky charm. It has nothing to do with superstition. It has no magical qualities. It’s just a small rock. I asked him once why he kept a stone in his pocket and he told me it was a reminder for him, to always know that God was with him. I’d often come across this little stone while doing the laundry. He may have forgotten to remove it, but I think it was still there as a reminder for me as well.
The rock made its way to another country recently. Paul gave it to a young man in our congregation who recently was deployed to Iraq. He would be separated from his young family for a time, so it went into the fellow’s pocket for a while. When the man returned from his appointment, he returned the rock to Paul. He also gave him a medal he had purchased while there as a thank you for his gift. The rock didn’t keep the guy safe, but the connection to which it was drawn did.
As I think about the little rock and where it’s been and what it’s endured, I can’t help but thank God for giving him to me for such a long and wonderful life. As we begin another journey together, I know that God still has things for both of us to do while we continue the road we’re traveling. I am confident that God is our rock – our salvation – our hope – our savior. His love is so much stronger than any material thing we can put in our hands or save in a pocket. His love endures forever.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for giving me such a wonderful, God-fearing man to share this life with. He has a faith that can move mountains, because you are the force behind him. His faith has sustained him from one trial to the next and has never faltered. Guide us through the next few years as you have in the past. I know you will never leave us. I trust in your unfailing love. Amen!
As I reach the end of my years, I find I have a lot of good information stored up in this old decrepit mind of mine. If I don't write it all down, it may vanish and no one will have the advantage of my thoughts. This is why this blog exists. I love the Lord, Jesus with all my heart and soul. I know I'm undeserving of all He's done for me, but I also know that His love is beyond my comprehension.
I've always wanted to write. I never kept diaries, but tucked my thoughts in my head for future reference. I use them now in creating stories, plays, poetry and my blog.
I continue to learn every day. I believe the compilation of our time spent with God will have huge affect on the way we live. I know I'm a sinner and I need a Savior. I have One through Jesus, Christ.
My book, "Stages - a memoir," is about the seven stages of life from the perspective of a woman. It addresses all the things girls and women go through in life as they travel it with Jesus, and it is available on Amazon.com.
Life is a patchwork of moments — laughter, solitude, everyday joys, and quiet aches. Through scribbled stories, I explore travels both far and inward, from sunrise over unfamiliar streets to the comfort of home. This is life as I see it, captured in ink and memory. Stick around; let's wander together.
atimetoshare.me 
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