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We watched a Billie Cystal/Alan King movie the other day called, “Memories of Me,” (1988.) It was intended to be a comedy. The drama of the movie was more intense for my husband and me. Within this comedy, we saw how a man was often embarrassed by his father when he was a child. Their relationship had deteriorated over time, but eventually they come to terms with each other. It got me thinking about how our children relate to us when they’re going through their growing up years. Do we cause them embarrassment with our actions, words and behavior?

We both felt this film hit home for us. I was the drama director at my childrens’ school. It was often difficult not to act as a parent, but there were times when I didn’t. I was known to go through McDonald’s drive-thru to order with a fake nose and glasses. I often went down the same one-way street the wrong way while driving the carpool. In later years they watched me receive a pie in the face on stage. There was the time my windshield wiper flew off and I had to substitute it with a puppet from the back set of the car. Another time, while driving a stick shift Jeep, the shifter lifted right out of its place as I made a turn. I quickly stuck it back in and proceeded on. There were many occasions when I certainly must’ve caused them to feel at least awkward.

My husband will never live down the Speedo he wore in our backyard pool. He chose many different ways of wearing his hair (from Sonny Bono to Bob Ross) and the wardrobe he chose – from white button-down shirt, tie and three-piece suit to flannel shirt and jeans. His stories pertaining to trips he took, hunting, nature, sitting around a campfire, had the tendency to grow larger and larger with each telling. These situations could have caused some humiliating moments for them.

Our kids were often witness to funny stuff in our home. We both love to laugh and can usually find humor in most situations. As we grow older, things aren’t as funny anymore. We need their company. We need their help. We need them. All of those things have been provided by them. It’s like the hands of time have reversed and we’re now the kids and they’re the caregivers. Thankfully we can still laugh at ourselves.

In the movie, the son realizes how much alike he and his father are. They’re both charming, entertaining, funny and likeable. The things we do as parents aren’t always acceptable to our children. We are supposed to be setting a good example. I hope that we were a positive influence on our children and that they can laugh at some of those “embarrassing” situations with compassion, as we continue to make our way through this life. Maybe they’ve already passed awkward moments on to their own kids.