We watched a Billie Cystal/Alan King movie the other day called, “Memories of Me,” (1988.) It was intended to be a comedy. The drama of the movie was more intense for my husband and me. Within this comedy, we saw how a man was often embarrassed by his father when he was a child. Their relationship had deteriorated over time, but eventually they come to terms with each other. It got me thinking about how our children relate to us when they’re going through their growing up years. Do we cause them embarrassment with our actions, words and behavior?
We both felt this film hit home for us. I was the drama director at my childrens’ school. It was often difficult not to act as a parent, but there were times when I didn’t. I was known to go through McDonald’s drive-thru to order with a fake nose and glasses. I often went down the same one-way street the wrong way while driving the carpool. In later years they watched me receive a pie in the face on stage. There was the time my windshield wiper flew off and I had to substitute it with a puppet from the back set of the car. Another time, while driving a stick shift Jeep, the shifter lifted right out of its place as I made a turn. I quickly stuck it back in and proceeded on. There were many occasions when I certainly must’ve caused them to feel at least awkward.
My husband will never live down the Speedo he wore in our backyard pool. He chose many different ways of wearing his hair (from Sonny Bono to Bob Ross) and the wardrobe he chose – from white button-down shirt, tie and three-piece suit to flannel shirt and jeans. His stories pertaining to trips he took, hunting, nature, sitting around a campfire, had the tendency to grow larger and larger with each telling. These situations could have caused some humiliating moments for them.
Our kids were often witness to funny stuff in our home. We both love to laugh and can usually find humor in most situations. As we grow older, things aren’t as funny anymore. We need their company. We need their help. We need them. All of those things have been provided by them. It’s like the hands of time have reversed and we’re now the kids and they’re the caregivers. Thankfully we can still laugh at ourselves.
In the movie, the son realizes how much alike he and his father are. They’re both charming, entertaining, funny and likeable. The things we do as parents aren’t always acceptable to our children. We are supposed to be setting a good example. I hope that we were a positive influence on our children and that they can laugh at some of those “embarrassing” situations with compassion, as we continue to make our way through this life. Maybe they’ve already passed awkward moments on to their own kids.
atimetoshare.me 
Interesting read.
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thank you.
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My father had a sadistic streak and enjoyed humiliating me in front of my friends. I hated it so much that when I became a parent, I went out of my way to avoid embarrassing my kids. I’m sure I sometimes embarrassed them inadvertently, but at least I never did it deliberately.
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Growing up and even as Adults, our parents gave us all wide berth to learn and grow and express ourselves and change. It’s only fair and right that we not only give the same to them, but also… stop internalizing and taking their growth, change, and expressions of themselves so damned personal. Eventually… we need to grow up.
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I hope I never grow up
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I meant in the way we are “embarrassed” and offended by seemingly everything nowadays and thinking our offence should be important to others. We have a generation of adult children now.
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I know what you meant and I agree, but if we ever lose our childhood thinking we might also lose our faith.
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Childish vs childhood thinking and “child like faith”. These three are not the same. Child like Faith is what Jesus encouraged, not childish or childhood thinking. Big difference.
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If we are worried about embarrassing our children, I suspect the worse thing we can do is to take ourselves too seriously. It is our Lord and our responsibilities we need to take seriously, and if we love God and each other the way we should, we will put ourselves in the proper perspective.
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I agree and despite all the craziness in our house, we managed to raise three outstanding adults thanks be to God’
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I can think of so many times I have embarrassed my children. But they always bring lots of laughter when we remember them!
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I remember the speedo days, how funny
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I am proud to be an embarrassment to the one who never calls. As for the other one, why does he call his mother daily and me about once a week to ask why his mother’s phone is turned off?
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Oh the plight of the caregiving dad❤️
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