SOMETIMES A PICTURE IS WORTH MORE THAN A THOUSAND WORDS!
IT’S JUST A TEST . . .
This life is full of tests. So much depends on how we deal with them. I’ve always been one of those who sailed along comfortably and when things started to get choppy, I’d give up. Whether it was looking at a test paper without any preparation and blanking out, or being prepared, but not for the questions you’re being asked, I resist, I struggle, I delay, I often simply give up, because testing is hard and I don’t like hard things. Do you?
Most of us look for easier way of doing things. When we’re given a way out, we usually grab it without question, but is that really the best for us? I believe that God knows us better than we know ourselves and the tests He puts in our lives are designed to strengthen us and make us even more grateful for the end result.
When was the last time you endured a long struggle? Did it serve any purpose? Think about it. Did it bring about a change or did you learn anything from it? So often, when faced with difficulties, I can’t’ help wondering why. Why is God allowing this to happen to me? What am I suppose to learn from this? What good is it accomplishing?
It’s discouraging. It’s tough. It’s tiring and frustrating. It’s a pain in the neck, this whole process of living. When things become overwhelming, we blame others, we blame ourselves, we even blame God. Trials are not meant to break us, but to strengthen us, but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. Sometimes we don’t want another test. We think we should’ve passed by now, but still each day brings something new – some way to refine us, to temper us like steel, to put us in the fire and perfect us. We resist, we struggle, we delay, we try to ignore and in some cases we just give up.
God has promised us that He will never give us more than we can bear, but what if your health fails – your finances are in such bad shape that you can’t buy groceries for the week – you lose your spouse, your job, your mind? God also promises that He will be with us through every one of our trials. In fact, He came to earth as a human being, to experience the same things we do. He even suffered a horrific death so that we would live forever.
We aren’t alone. We have the King of Creation at our side in every situation if we only believe in Him. It’s not a matter of our accepting Him. He’s already accepted us.
Posted in aging, Faith, perseverance
Tagged AGING, death, encouragement, FAITH, God, Inspiration, life, Patience, persistence, tests, wisdom
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THANK YOU, JESUS FOR ANOTHER YEAR
Just about a year ago, my husband underwent a biopsy on a mass that showed up in an MRI. The mass was in his chest and close to his heart. Before going under anesthetic, the anesthesiologist had a talk with him. Because of a faulty heart valve and heart murmur, along with an aneurism on his brain and other health issues, it seemed very risky to proceed with the biopsy. Paul decided to go ahead after prayerful consideration. The test came back being positive for cancer. The prostate cancer that he had received radiation treatment for several years back had reared its ugly head once again.
When he met with the oncologist, he was presented with some potential treatment plans, but because of his many other serious health issues – with the consideration of his family and prayers to the Great Physician, we decided it would be best to not undergo any further treatment. He was told that he probably would live 2 months to a year without treatment. It has been a year now. We thank Jesus for this extra time He’s given both of us and those who love this wonderful man.
At the sixth month checkup, all vital signs were good. He met with a cardiologist who agreed that it wouldn’t be wise to have heart surgery, because of the risk of death. I’m not sure how much longer I will be allowed to have this amazing man in my life, but I thank God for giving me this extra year. The power of prayer is evident and has been throughout our almost 60 years of marriage. We’ve had our share of ups and downs, sickness and health, success and failure, but God has always seen us through those times. God’s intervention has reduced the mass in size over the past year. We both know that death will come someday, but neither of us is afraid to die. We know that God’s love will continue even after death and for eternity.
THANK YOU, JESUS, FOR EVERY SECOND, EVERY MINUTE, DAY AND YEAR YOU PROVIDE FOR OUR LIVES TOGETHER. WE WILL PRAISE YOUR NAME AND HONOR YOU FOREVER AND EVER, AMEN!
Posted in aging, cancer, eternal life
Tagged AGING, cancer, death, FAITH, Fear, Inspiration, intervention, life, praise, prayer, wisdom
15 Comments
IMPROV FOR SENIORS . . .
I’ve spent most of my life either performing, teaching others the craft of acting (mostly children,) writing plays, returning to college to take theatre classes in my 40s and doing commercial work. From my earliest years, I’ve found great enjoyment in performing. When I was old enough to talk, I felt it was my vocation in life to make people happy. This past three weeks, which included my 82nd birthday, I’ve been co-teaching improv to seniors 55+. This has been one of the highlights of my years as an educator and performer.
Twice a week for two hours a day, we’ve been sharing our knowledge of the importance of spontaneity – thinking in the moment – losing inhibitions – working with gestures, physical and vocal exercises and a whole lot of laughter. Through this process something wonderful has happened. One of the participants noted on the first day that laughter was something missing in her life. Often when we age, we forget how to do that simple thing which brings so much joy into our being. Another person said she learned to listen more. Maybe part of not listening has to do with being hard of hearing, but even that can be overcome by reading body language and even doing some lip reading. One thing I noticed was that my body was again doing things that seemed impossible a few weeks before.
Aging does not have to be a death sentence. The group we worked with was compiled of several decades of age. Each one had the unique ability to shed their fears and try something they had never done before. By doing so, their memories became sharper. They responded to each other. In three short weeks, we became united in the way we though, along with the way we worked together. We gained some new friends in the process and made their lives and ours a little better for a while.
I encourage anyone of senior age, to find a senior center that offers a variety of classes or events. Those in our classes were very busy senior citizens. Art classes, writing, pottery, history, whatever your interest, this place had it all. I have been set free from some of my own inhibitions. Even with knees that have lost their resilience, I was able to stretch myself further than I had physically in some time. Age is a state of mind – so they say. If you are unwilling to try, you’re missing out on something that might just give you a new outlook on life. I’m not saying this is for everyone, but it has been a blast for this old lady.
Posted in aging, Friendship, Uncategorized, wisdom
Tagged acting, AGING, death & life, Don't give up, find your inner child, fun, improvisation, Listening, spontenaity, wisdom
6 Comments
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS
ART & POETRY BY PAUL & KATHY BOECHER
“SHOW ME YOUR WILL, LORD“
You can almost imagine the sound of a babbling brook,
Trickling rapidly over rocks,
winding over obstacles, but still persisting,
Each turn in that flowage, touches something along the way,
We can be like that force,
As we tumble through life, we touch others,
Our presence has some impact on those we meet,
Either good or bad,
Wouldn’t it be grand if we made a huge difference,
If we could change another’s circumstances,
Lend a hand,
Be a friend,
We can reach beyond our wildest imaginations,
We can inspire, encourage, support, care,
With those tools,
We are making a difference,
Not only in someone else’s life,
But in our own.
Posted in Art & Poetry by Paul & Kathy Boecher, Encouragement, Nature, Uncategorized
Tagged AGING, Anxiety, Art & Poetry by Paul & Kathy Boecher, Depression, encouragement, FAITH, God, helping others, Hope, Inspiration, Jesus, wisdom
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I’M SORRY . . . AGAIN!
Saying, “I’m sorry,” can seem meaningless to the one who is asking for forgiveness. Lately I’ve been saying that phrase a lot. I’m sorry for the pain that someone is enduring. I’m sorry for the anxiety of making multiple decisions at a time in life when I should be content. I’m sorry for words that have been spoken without thinking of how it might affect someone’s feelings. I’m sorry for worrying so much. I’m sorry for hurting you – for disappointing – for requiring so much from you – I’m sorry again and again and again.
When we ask God to forgive our sins, He doesn’t think twice. Because of His unconditional love, we can count on it. We can load ourselves with guilt and feel that what we’ve done or said is unforgiveable, but God has already taken care of that too. He knows what we struggle with. He feels our suffering. He is with us in every situation, but still we ask to be forgiven over and over. We’ve said things in anger. We’ve felt bad about it the next day, but the words have already been said and our human nature makes it almost impossible to forgive ourselves.
When you’re on the brink of hopeless, turn to the One who Knows everything that is in your heart, your mind and your soul. He loves you. He has never given up on you. He gave the ultimate sacrifice, and He has forgiven you – over and over again.
Posted in aging, fogiveness, wisdom
Tagged FAITH, forgiiveness, God, redemption, repentance, sadness, Salvation, sorry, wisdom
1 Comment
DOES ATTENDING CHURCH SAVE YOU?
There is a common misconception floating around that going to church is the only way you’ll get to heaven. Let me assure you that what saves you is the love of the Holy Trinity, the sacrifice made to cleanse you from your sins and the assurance that your slate is clean. There is nothing YOU can do to make that happen.
In my lifetime I’ve seen a steady decline in church attendance. Part of the decline has to do with what’s going in in the American family. Church used to be a part of Sunday mornings and many times, extended into the afternoon hours with fellowship, family get togethers, potlucks and Christians encouraging each other. When Sunday came, we knew we were going to church. Some might call it a wasted part of the weekend when we could be adding to our own personal recreation. Others might think that by attending church they are making amends with God and then go on living the way they were before and after church ends. Some attend church simply to worship. So why is church attendance falling by the wayside?
During the COVID epidemic, we became a nation in isolation. We were required to stay home and hopefully avoid the spread of the disease. A good thing came out of that time. Online church services were made available, so many were still able to attend church, hear the message, sing the hymns and worship all in the comfort of their own homes. After that, many continued to isolate. Going to church took on a new facade. Now you could watch and hear the service without even going.
During the past fifty years or so, the ministry is also declining. There aren’t enough pastors to house the many existing churches. A new approach to worship has created the partnering of those many edifices to compensate for the lack of ministers. The building itself, the preacher, the size of the congregation has very little merit in the eyes of God. The real church is the body of Christ accompanied by those who believe in Him. We can worship anywhere – in a closet, in our own living room – in nature – anywhere that God is (which is everywhere,) and with our prayers at any time.
The church itself is full of sinners just like you and me. It’s an imperfect body of soiled and ugly people – often dressed in their most beautiful clothes and looking like a million bucks. Within this seemingly perfect refuge lies deceit, judgment, anger, adultery, bigotry, liars, hypocrisy, thieves and every other kind of evil you can imagine. This is one of Satan’s most popular places to visit, because it’s filled with imperfect people who are subject to sin. However, when you look at the ministry of Christ, it took place in the most unusual places. He went to the core of humanity – to the sinners of the world – to all those who needed His healing. He still does. Through His Word, the Bible, He comes to the broken hearted, the poor in spirit, the lost and condemned and those who need Him most.
Going to church isn’t going to guarantee our salvation, but if our church is preaching the truth of the Bible, we will be nourished each week and fed with the good news of the Gospel. A steady diet of God’s truth will show us that our sins are forgiven through Jesus. It will heal troubled spirits and lift those who are sad out of depression.
Posted in church, refuge
Tagged AGING, change, church attendance, confession, consistency, COVID, forgiveness, God, Hope, Refreshment, wisdom
7 Comments
FULL OF LIFE
ART & POETRY BY PAUL & KATHY BOECHER©
What started as a single seed reclining in the earth,
Is now a giant masterpiece with monetary worth,
The time it took to grow this tree encompassed many years,
It suffered many bruises and witnessed many tears,
Some of its limbs were withered, while others brandished life,
Its trunk was strong as iron, yet endured all kinds of strife,
As winds defiled and bent its frame, it seemed that he was lost,
Its roots exposed, its spine now bent from cold and bitter frost,
Still it survived and grew some more and pierced right through the clouds,
Its life went on and does today, evading death’s dark shrouds,
We like that tree continue through life’s discouraging path,
We place our hope in worldly things and we receive God’s wrath,
But when we put our hope in Him our life will never end,
And it will be much greater than our minds can comprehend,
The growth that we experience throughout our earthly days,
Will never reach comparison to what His love purveys,
We lift our eyes to heaven and know what waits beyond,
Posted in aging, Art & Poetry by Paul & Kathy Boecher, wisdom
Tagged AGING, Art & Poetry by Paul & Kathy Boecher, Creation, encouraement, God, Inspiration, wisdom
4 Comments
BREATH OF GOD
ART & POETRY BY PAUL & KATHY BOECHER
What inspires writers to write? Each of us has a story inside our brains. Maybe by using that story, we may inspire someone else with the words. Does it matter? There are so many stories out there. There are millions of writers who aspire to encourage, get people thinking, to teach, to encourage and build others up with their words. There are lots of writers who use the pen to slander, to belittle or humiliate. There are many who wish to become famous and make lots of money with their words. There are those who truly have a gift for the craft and those who think they do.
If you are a wordsmith, you have a responsibility to fact check – to make sure that what you’re writing about is completely true. Not only should you be willing to take criticism and face rejection, but you should have the courage to do so. Writing anything today is going to have an effect on someone who reads your words. Your words have the power to ignite, incite and excite. Those same words can cause division, create negative opinions and have a profound impact on those who read them.
Writing for me has a number of reasons behind it. I write plays for people of all ages. My works have not been submitted for publication, because of my fear of rejection. The plays are meant to entertain. I love it when people laugh at the comedy I include in them. I also write poetry from time to time. My poems don’t follow any rules. They’re a combination of my inner thoughts which may turn into rhyming verse. I write a daily blog for my own benefit. By doing so, I do a lot of research and search the scriptures to find things that will inspire others and lead them to Jesus. I consider my early morning time of doing that as my daily Bible study.
Words don’t always come easy. Words aren’t always the right ones. Whether spoken, written or heard, words hold great power. I pray that God will allow me to help someone today.
BREATH OF GOD, By Kathy Boecher©
Churning, swirling, pulsated by the turbulence of energy,
The long, leaf lavished limbs of mature trees, undulate under the rhythm of God’s breath,
Up and down, here and there, tossing, stirring,
His inspiration comes in the wind,
His Words have been breathed into the hands of men,
He speaks to us through them,
He never grows tired, never spent of energy, never sleeps,
Breathe life into me, Lord, God,
That my remaining days may be a testimony to you.
Posted in Art & Poetry by Paul & Kathy Boecher, God, Inspiration
Tagged Art & Poetry by Paul & Kathy Boecher, encouragement, FAITH, God, Hope, Inspiration, writing
4 Comments
ANOTHER DAY OLDER & . . .
It’s that time again. Another day, another birthday. Who would’ve thought I’d ever live this long? I still own the baby dish from which my mother once fed me. I’ve collected lots more stuff over these 82 years. Of those collections, the most important are the memories God has saved in my mind. The people who nurtured me as I grew up. The friends I made along the way. The man I fell in love with. The children entrusted to us. The relatives who put up with me. Those who counseled me, prayed for and with me, the partners I shared a stage with, my fellow church members. My students. My grandchildren – who are the most amazing creatures on this earth – next to my own children and husband. A lifetime filled with memories both good and bad, but a life well=lived.
I found this listing of old hymns, renamed for those of us over 50. I thought it was appropriate for an old lady like me.
Give Me the Old Timers Religion
Just a Slower Walk with Thee
Go Tell It on the Mountain, But Speak Up
Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing
Guide Me O Thou Great Lord God, I’ve Forgotten Where I’ve Parked The Car
Count Your Many Birthdays, Count Them One By One
Blessed Insurance
It Is Well With My Soul, But My Knees Hurt
Jesus loves me, in spite of myself
This has been a year of many challenges, but it has brought me one more year with all those I love – especially my family. Thank you, Jesus for another day.
Posted in aging, Family, wisdom
Tagged AGING, birthdays, encouragement, FAITH, FAMILY, God, humor, Inspiration, laughter
15 Comments
SURROUNDED BY LIONS . . .
ART & POETRY BY PAUL & KATHY BOECHER
The lion sculpted in wood was a birthday gift from my husband several years ago. Paul spent many hours carving, chiseling and sanding to craft this special dramatic mask of sorts. The lion has always been a symbol of strength and prowess. This cat has also been used to describe the stealthy power of our enemy – the devil. I prefer the first choice. God is our refuge and strength and through Him all things are possible – even our ability to fend off the distractions get in the way of our journey.
Our world is full of tragic news and difficult decisions.
We struggle to find good in all the strife and dark divisions.
The devil uses all these things to tug within our reasoning.
Manipulating all our thoughts, with his own special seasoning.
But God’s power is much stronger. He’s crushed the serpent’s head.
He took the devil’s strength away when He rose up from the dead.
The evil one still walks the earth, in shadows and in darkness.
He preys upon our weaknesses. He thrives upon our starkness.
He lurks as lions tend to prowl while foraging for food,
But never will he find real peace, since he cannot bring good.
The day will come when angels sing their songs from up above.
When God will come to judge us all with justice and with love.
Lord, give me wisdom from your Word. Protect me with your arm.
Keep me within protective wings that shield me from all harm.
You’ve conquered death and so will I, as long as I trust You.
You’ve taken all my sins away. There’s nothing I can do,
Except to spread your Word of truth and love as you loved me.
Now shield me from the evil one and set my spirit free.
Posted in Art & Poetry by Paul & Kathy Boecher, God, Salvation
Tagged Art & Poetry by Paul & Kathy Boecher, danger, encouragement, FAITH, God's Love, Hope, Inspiration, Jesus, Peace, protection, wisdom
5 Comments
VANTAGE POINT
When you get to be my age, many of my evening hours are spent in front of the TV set. Recently we watched a movie called, “Vantage Point,” with Dennis Quaid as a bodyguard for the president of the United States. As the film progressed, it became apparent that the president was in actuality being portrayed by a stand in for the Commander in Chief. It was an interesting concept. The fact that so much is being revealed about A.I. got me to thinking. I’m certain many conspiracy theories are out there about such possibilities. Artificial Intelligence has been around for a while, but the idea that a doppelganger of a famous person could be recreated to duplicate another kind of blew me away. I started thinking about other things in the world these days, being invented to duplicate life so perfectly that you can’t tell the difference between real and imaginary.
My crazy mind started to reach back into history. What if President Lincoln or John Kennedy had access to such a thing? What if all the important people in the world were able to put themselves on display in their own image, but not a real entity. I thought about the terracotta army created by the first emperor of China. A complete replica of real soldiers was unearthed to reveal what looked like a fierce infantry of armed men. In World War II, an imaginary group of soldiers and tanks duped the Germans into believing they were seeing the real thing. Do you suppose we’re heading in that direction? Maybe someday wars will be fought with such man-made armies. Eventually there may be no need for humanity at all. Heaven help us.
I know there is some good in creating a life-like image of an important person for their protection, but I wonder how much longer man will try to imitate God and His superhuman abilities. From the Garden of Eden all the way to present day, we see how humanity is not satisfied with what God has so brilliantly created and given to them. They think they can determine how long a person should live, whether a fetus should be aborted, if a mechanical version of themselves can replace the God given gifts of life. We may think that we know as much as God does. We may think ourselves capable of matching His power and strength. We might even think of ourselves as all-knowing or as omnipotence, but no amount of artificial intelligence will ever be able to replicate what God has masterfully created. After all, the term AI means artificial intelligence and holds no real intelligence at all. Who knows where it can lead and the harm it can cause if one of them goes rogue.
Posted in creation, God, wisdom
Tagged artificial intelligence, conjecture, Creation, encouragement, hu, humanity, Jesus, Man, replacement, stand in, wisdom
6 Comments
NOT EVERYONE CAN BE A DAD . . .
Fathers come in all sizes, shapes, colors and different temperaments and personalities. Fathering a child is the easy part. Becoming a dad is entirely different. To earn that title, you will be required to discipline with love – teach without belittling – demonstrate by example – be on hand and involved in your child’s life – support them financially, spiritually, emotionally and physically – be willing to put yourself at the bottom of the heap yet be on top when it comes to guidance and leadership. Not an easy task for any man, but a “superhero” dad is that kind of father.
Did you know that George Washington never fathered children of his own. He raised two of his wife’s children from her first marriage. He also received the title of “Father of his country,” and was a leader of armies, politicians, a floundering new independent nation and has his image on the dollar bill. I imagine he came from a long line of fathers. We don’t really hear much about them, except for the incident with cutting down the cherry tree.
Fathers in George’s day were viewed as stern disciplinarians. Today, they’re viewed as their children’s buddies or besties. George’s shoes must’ve been difficult to fill. He played a huge part in the formation of a country. Yet, he was a human being, just like you and me. When men are placed in the public eye, they’re expected to act a certain way. Today, men in high places are subject to slander, exposition, falsehoods and downright lies.
There is a common thread that runs through time, even though things change. Fathers have a huge responsibility to be involved in their child’s life. Some of them can’t handle the obligation and dedication expected of them. Like most things worth living for, becoming a parent requires a lot of sacrifice, pain and hard work. God is there to guide them He has written a manual on parenting that advises, teaches, supplies answers to the question – how does a father become a dad? That manual for all aspects of living is God’s Word, the Bible. The Father of all creation knows what He’s talking about. He knows about sacrifice. He is filled with unconditional love and will answer when you call on Him. Living under His direction, those who love their children will inherit the kingdom of heaven. That gift will carry on from generation to generation. Then you will know what it is to be a dad.
Posted in aging, Father's Day, wisdom
Tagged AGING, Anxiety, FAMILY, father or dad, Father's day, God;s Word, Inspiration, Jesus, parenting, trust, wisdom
6 Comments
THE AGE OF INNOCENCE . . .
POETRY BY KATHY BOECHER©
When we look into the face of a newborn, all we see is sweetness and innocence. The angelic countenance of an infant could not possibly be imperfect in any way. As they grow into toddlers, we wonder who replaced our darling child with the corrupted little imp we now see before us. That dear child was born with a sinful nature, just like the rest us. They don’t have to be taught to be disrespectful. No one shows them how to raise the roof to get attention. Their ability to show their bad sides is inborn.
We, as parents, need to teach our children to love and care for others. They must learn how to look up to those who know more than they do. Kids as well as adults need direction in their lives. We need boundaries and limits. We need rules. We need guidance. God knew that when He established the Ten Commandments. The first three of them are in regard to our relationship with God and the rest have to do with how we relate with others.
In modern times, we have all but forgotten those commands. We might look at them as suggestions for how to live, but not really necessary. We have become accustomed to adjusting the rules to fit our own needs. The world is not perfect, and we need God and His Holy Word to guide our lives. So do our children. We can teach our kids to respect others, but if we don’t become an example, they will soon see right through it. We can teach our children manners, but if we aren’t polite or kind, we become hypocrites in our behavior. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. They usually follow their parents’ example. Their set of rules for living can quickly be altered by the world. The job of a parent is not to be a friend, but a leader – an example – and one who loves enough to discipline.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4.
Our innocence was lost when man sinned against God, but it was regained when He sent His only begotten Son to take on the load of sin – suffer humiliation and abuse – die on a cross – rise again from death to show us that life doesn’t end when we breathe our last. About ten years ago, I wrote the following poem which deals with the power of God working in our children through our parenting of them.
INNOCENCE
Our lives begin in innocence, we are too young to know.
But even in those fledgling years, we choose the way we go.
Our minds are bright our will is strong.
We think we know what’s right and wrong.
Our very hearts grow black with sin, our souls drift to and fro.
We can’t escape the grip of sin. It grows within our heart.
It’s like a cancer moving in and tearing souls apart.
There’s not a thing that we can do.
Our fate is sealed, our death is too.
Our path is filled with darkness, we have no place to start.
Our God showed love omnipotent. He sent His own dear Son.
To pay the price for my misdeeds – salvation He has won.
There’s not a word that I can say,
For burdens lifted every day.
My soul was purchased with His blood, the work has all been done.
How can I thank you, my dear Lord, for everything you gave,
So, I will too in heaven live. My soul from sin is saved.
I give my heart and soul to you.
There’s nothing else for me to do.
I’ll praise your name forevermore – my sin is washed away.
Posted in Father's Day, parenting, Poetry by Kathy Boecher
Tagged discipline, fath, Father's Day, Guidance, infancy, innocence, parenting, Poetry by Kathy Boecher, rules for life, Sin, ten commandments, wisdom
2 Comments
21st CENTURY DAD . . .
Down through the ages, fatherhood has had its ups and downs. Fred Flintstone had a foot powered car to cart his kids around. During the Renaissance, Leonardo daVinci had to live up to his dad’s expectations so he invented things, painted and sculpted things, looked at life outside the box. Robert Young was the perfect dad in the 1950’s because everyone knew that he knew best about everything. Bill Cosby portrayed the dad who had a humorous view of life and made us laugh. Today, dads have grown up on things like technology, the Internet, cell phones, social media, selfies and all things electronic. One thing that dads have in common has nothing to do with the time in which they lived, but how they lived as a dad.
Communication has changed a lot in the last 80 years. In my early upbringing, I knew dad was the head of the house. My mom and my sister knew that too. Dad was a blue-collar worker, working the night shift in a factory. We had limited time to interact and usually it was at the dinner table when we did. Dad was always cranky, because he had just come out of a deep sleep. Usually, he didn’t have much to say, but his fatherly advice was more than often peppered with sarcasm. We still ate together at the same table, with no distractions, other than a judgmental glare from time to time.
When my husband and I started our family, I vowed that we would have at least one meal at the dinner table. That didn’t always work, because of the endless basketball, cheerleading, soccer games, etc., meant we’d eat on the run. Those dinner table discussions were usually met with limited time and a rush to get out the door.
In the 21st Century, families have drastically changed. There are very few occasions when we actually sit down and talk while we eat. Fancy China and crystal have been replaced with paper plates and plastic cups. Communication is relegated to texts, GIFs, memes and selfies. I’ve actually seen kids in restaurants communicating via phone while in the same room. Breaking through the electronics can be a hopeless cause and talking face to face is almost impossible unless you use Face Time.
My point is, that we’ve lost the art of conversation. Maybe if we were to assign even a few minutes to actually gathering and talking about events that occurred during the day, or having a brief Bible study, would get us back into the habit of using our voices again. I know that God is always in charge and even when it seems we aren’t getting through to our children, God is watching over them. He loves it when we talk to Him. Our prayers are the most effective conversation we can have. In the meantime, I suggest families carve out a specific time, just to talk to each other.
Posted in aging, Father's Day, parenting, Uncategorized
Tagged communication, Fathers Day, Inspiration, parenting, technology, wisdom
2 Comments
FATHER’S DAY QUOTES . . .
There are many funny things that people say about fathers. Why is it when we look for a card to represent our deepest feelings towards this man that had a huge part in our life, we tend to find one that will make him laugh? Being a father is probably one of the most misunderstood job a man will ever undertake. He is part of a partnership which requires constant attention, due diligence, love, dedication, wisdom, and yes – laughter. As we grow older, our obligations become less, but the benefits of fatherhood will remain until your dying day. The older we get, the more important the job becomes. So here are a few sayings from some famous fathers that will tickle your funny bone.
- “We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, ‘He wants his mother.’” —Erma Bombeck
- “When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, ‘Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?’ He answered, ‘If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.’” —Jerry Lewis
- “To be a successful father, there’s one absolute rule: When you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.” —Ernest Hemingway
- “Having a 2-year-old is like having a blender without a lid.” —Jerry Seinfeld
- “Having children is like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything’s broken and there’s a lot of throwing up.” —Ray Romano
Well, all isn’t fun and games as we know. Fatherhood requires a lifetime of understanding, patience, compassion, discipline and so much more. When we look at the natural progression of life, there’s no one more important than the person who will mentor, guide, advise, counsel or have your back than a dad. Even during the years that you think they don’t know much – through the years when they see that your knowledge is immeasurable – until the final days of life’s journey, when they become the parent and we become a child again. With that in mind, here’s another quote from a song lyric by Keith Urban. Eventually we see how much they’ve contributed to who we are.
“And I only hope when I have my own family that every day, I see a little more of my father in me.” – Keith Urban
Posted in aging, Family, parenting
Tagged compassion, counsel, encouragement, FAITH, FAMILY, Father's Day, Guidance, Inspiration, life, parenting, wisdom
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ARE YOU A PERFECT DAD?
Part of being a good father is all the funny things they have to tell their children – like the ones you see in the image I’ve chosen for today. How many times have you used phrases like, “I had to walk a mile to school every day – in a blizzard – with plastic bread bags inside my boots – with the wind in my face.” or “You have no idea how good you have it.” The things we say to our children can have a fierce effect on them as they begin their own families. It seems history often repeats itself and we find ourselves saying the same silly things.
As far as discipline is concerned, when I was a child (I really dislike that phrase as well.) spankings weren’t considered child abuse, but my dad never laid a hand on me. The piercing glare in his eyes was like a double-edged sword. Those looks were more painful than any spanking. His sharp words were also hurtful, but in the long run they held more clout than anything. I now realize that those looks and words were intended for my good, but at the time I didn’t think so.
Despite the fact that he wasn’t the “Father Knows Best” dad that all kids wanted their dads to be, he did the best he could. Living with three females couldn’t have been easy for him. Getting time in our one-bathroom apartment, was an accomplishment in itself. At the least he must’ve felt outnumbered, but he knew how to stand his ground. I know he loved us, even though he didn’t often say it. He would brag about us when we weren’t present, because he didn’t want us to get big heads.
I learned some valuable life lessons from him even though I didn’t realize it at the time. I learned to work hard for the things I wanted in life. In fact, I learned to do more than was expected. I also found that life isn’t always easy and that we have to take the good with the bad. I discovered that I should never underestimate myself or my abilities. He taught me to dream.
My dad was only 61 years old when he died. Before his death I wrote him a letter to express my love for him. Here is an excerpt from that letter:
“When I was growing up there were times I couldn’t understand you. I often thought you didn’t know a thing. When I became a parent, I realized that you were one of the wisest men I’ve ever known. You shaped my life into something I can be proud of. Our children are with us for such a short time and we’re never sure if we’ve done all we could for them. You did your job, Dad. I hope you know that and because of it I will love you forever.”
Being a perfect dad is impossible, just like it’s impossible to be all that God wants us to be. We can try to meet the requirements, but we always fall short. The beauty of God’s Fatherly love is that He looks beyond our imperfections and loves us anyway.
Posted in Father's Day, parenting, wisdom
Tagged AGING, FAITH, FAMILY, Fatherhood, flaws, God, Jesus, life lessons, parenting, perfection, wisdom
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THE APPLE DOESN’T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE . . .
This is Father’s Day week. A time in which we celebrate dads and how important they are to the family unit. I’ll be sharing several posts about this person whose dignity has suffered greatly over the last decades.
The family unit has changed radically over time. Often children have more than two parents. Many times, there is only one parent laying the groundwork. In any case, the children are getting mixed messages on how they should behave. Fathers have taken on a different look in the 21st century. They used to be the spiritual leaders, sole bread winners, and most importantly, it’s up to the parent/s to be the role model for their children. Unfortunately, kids don’t come with an instruction manual and often parenting is a matter of learning as you go. There should be a chain of command within the family. According to the Bible, God is the overseer – the mentor – the One in charge and the One we go to first for advice. The father is next. He carries out God’s plan for the family. The wife is the husband’s partner. Together they determine how the family should live. They lead by example, and they show respect and honor to those who come next.
Here are things that we should be talking with our children about as soon as they can understand.
- God is the head of the family, and He should be shown the respect He deserves.
- Modesty – Children will imitate what you wear, by the way, because you are their hero.
- Teach them to show respect to parents, self and others.
- Manners should be reintroduced into the curriculum for child rearing.
- Children should learn what is inappropriate behavior from others, including words and touch.
- Talk about sexual immorality.
- Encourage your children to vocalize their fears, their uncomfortable feelings, their misconceptions, their ability to trust.
- Keep the lines of communication open all the time – I’m talking face to face. Build that relationship early on.
- Be available, encourage, give them the tools they need to deal with social issues
- LISTEN!
Here are some Bible passages that might help.
1 Peter 3:3-4 talks about modesty. Phillipians 2:3 refers to respect. Regarding sexual immorality refer to 1 Corinthians 6:18. Exodus 20:12 and Romans 12:12 talks about honoring others. The Bible is a great manual for living
In the 18 or so years of their lives, we are responsible as parents to guide, instruct and love our children. Their first hero is their parent. We are setting the bar. Are you living up to your responsibility?
Posted in America, Family
Tagged chain of command, children, FAITH, FAMILY, Father's Day week, God, Jesus, Listening, parenting, role models, Sharing, wisdom
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GETTING DOWN & DIRTY
When I was little, I had a close attachment with dirt. I loved making mud pies. I enjoyed digging for worms. There was something about squishing your fingers through the moist soil in search of buried treasure or who knows what. I believe I also consumed a certain amount of it during my childhood and continue to do so to this day.
In my 50s, I decided to tackle the hill in our front yard. We’d just moved into our old “old” house a few years before and the chore of cutting the grass on a 90-degree angle with a power mower almost landed my poor hubby in the middle of the street. I’m the kind of person who likes to tackle a bad situation and try to make something better of it, so I took it upon myself, one Mother’s Day, to terrace the front yard with a spade, shovel, garden gloves and a lot of sweat.
Year after year another level appeared. I became obsessed with finding larger rocks to keep the hill from caving in. My biceps actually were visible, and muscles showed up where I never knew they existed. I added many perennials on the way down and always felt the watchful eye of my neighbors as I traversed the hill. I almost imagined them looking out their windows and holding up score signs from one to ten. If nothing else, I kept them entertained.
After 20 years the hill became self-sustaining and didn’t require a lot of work, other than the ever-present weeds that had the longest roots I’ve ever seen. Three years ago, the department of transportation began a huge construction project on the road that faces our current address. In the process, a huge retaining wall was placed between us and the road. Now their work is done, but mine is just beginning. Some of the plants have been destroyed, but every day a new flower pops up. This week has been perfect weather for getting dirty again. I started to pull deeply embedded weeds from around the good stuff. I felt a sense of accomplishment having the cooler air and sun beating down on me as I tackled the job.
Sin can be like those invasive, troublesome weeds that move into our space and take over. They’re as tenacious as the devil himself, but we all know what happened to him. If we let the weeds of sin go on living within us, we’ll never be happy, we’ll always feel depressed, lonely, angry or bitter. If we sincerely repent daily of our sin, we can be sure that the Master Gardener has already paid for our transgressions. He forgave the world once for all. His forgiveness has released us from the pangs of death and results of sin, only by what He did for everyone.
JUST PASSING THROUGH
What is the world to me? This is a question we may tend to ask as we come to the end of our journey here on earth. We’ve traveled through roads unknown. We’ve wandered through deserts that parch the tongue and lead to disaster. We’ve struggled through battles with others – trying to patch things up, but never quite getting there. We’ve met those going through the same journey – also traveling on roads that seem endless. Where does it all lead? When will the struggles end? Will we ever reach our final destination?
The years seem almost endless. Some of our goals have been accomplished, while others never see the light of day. During all the days, hours, minutes, years and decades we run the race with no finish line in sight. So why were we born? Why do we continue? What is our purpose? Why must we go through these times of struggle? Why does God allow some of us to live so long, while other lives are cut short?
Shakespeare said, “Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”
Jesus told his followers, “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” John 14:1-3 ESV
We’re all strangers in a world filled with confusion and chaos. We may be going through the motions of living, but with Jesus, our lives have value and purpose. Heaven is our true home when we place our trust and faith in Him. He has already prepared our place there for us.
So many times we turn away a stranger. we push them out and never let them in.
Yet one so small lay in a lowly manger, so He could touch our stone-like hearts of sin.
He came in poverty to wash away our sins. He lived that way so we’d have wealth unknown.
When we push Him out you know the devil wins. We simply cannot get through life alone.
So open up your heart to Him today. Our Jesus wants to make His home right there.
He loves us even when we turn away. He cares for us and answers every prayer.
KATHY BOECHER©
Posted in aging, Heaven, Poetry by Kathy Boecher
Tagged aging gracefully, Anxiety, FAITH, journeys, life & death, Peace, Poetry by Kathy Boecher, purpose, value, wisdom
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