In the movie, “Meet the Parents,” Robert De Niro coined the phrase, “the circle of trust.” This was comprised of his family, a select group of friends and associates whom he could completely depend on to be worthy of him.
Do you belong to such a group? Are you excluded by people that feel you aren’t worthy? Have you ever looked at a circle of trust or inner circle as something negative? Usually there are certain people we go to for advice, for friendship, a good working relationship. There are those we confide in – reveal our worries or successes – depend on to be there when we need them. Yet in all that nice warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you are part of the inner circle, you might suddenly find yourself cast out, excluded or ignored. What happened?
When we value our relationships more than our own value system – our opinions – what we hold sacred – we can be setting ourselves up for a lot of disappointment, anger, suspicion and actually a lack of trust.
Being part of select group sounds appealing to us, because with them we aren’t alone. We have someone to support and help us. We can depend on them – or can we? The human race is very fickle, especially in an all exclusive clique. You can be riding high one day and in the depths of despair the next, because people make mistakes. We say things or do things that might offend or upset someone and suddenly are outside of the circle.
Poor Gaylord Focker (Ben Stiller) didn’t stand a chance against the perfectionist Jack Byrnes. He tried everything to impress his future father-in-law, but met disaster one time after the other. Do you ever feel that way? Do you know what it’s like to not be part of an inner circle? You do your best, try your hardest and something always gets in the way. This is what happens when we rely on people to influence our lives.
On the other hand, we can’t make it in this world alone. We need the friendship of other human beings. To become a hermit and set yourself aside from any public contact, condemns you to a life of loneliness.
So which will it be – become part of an elite group which excludes anyone that doesn’t fit their requirements – or hide in a closet? When we place ourselves above others, we’re getting into troublesome territory.
“For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.” Galatians 6:3
Even the inner circle which should be part of our family life, falls short. We cannot depend on spouses, parents or siblings to bail us out all the time.
“Put no trust in a neighbor; have no confidence in a friend; guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your arms; for the son treats the father with contempt, the daughter rises up against her mother, the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-la a man’s enemies are the men of his own house.” Micah 7:5-6
When we place our faith in others, we’re inviting disappointment. There is only One who we can trust to take care of us, fill all our needs, keep us on track, walk with us through dangerous situations, lift us when we fall, SAVE US! We can’t always depend on friends or even family, but our God has promised us life everlasting in heaven.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16