MONDAY MUSINGS

Posted on October 2, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

It’s Monday . . . again! Isn’t it amazing that God gives us a new day, a new week, a new beginning and a second chance? As I begin this week, I usually think about what lies ahead, but it doesn’t hurt to look back at little victories – new memories made – old memories restored and laughed about. Here’s a list of some of the things that ran through my mind as I woke up this morning.

  • I wondered if I had awaken in the middle of the night. It was 6:30 AM, but the sky was still semi-dark. By the time I finished taking my pills, brushing my teeth and all the other start-of-the-day business, the sun was peeking through the clouds, creating a pink and golden masterpiece. Thank you God, for sunrises.
  • I noticed two feral cats sitting in front of the house next door. They were stationed like those concrete statues of crouching lions you often see at an entrance. We haven’t seen much of them this year, with all the road construction going on around us. They were obviously hunting for their breakfast as I saw a cottontail bunny scurry into a bush, alluding their gaze. Thank you God, for protecting these animals and continuing the circle of life.
  • A squirrel ventured down the side of our old black, walnut tree, quickly retreating when he witnessed what was going on below. Thank you, God, for life of all kinds.
  • I heard a strange noise coming from our bed. It was the sound of loud, mechanical snoring. Thank you, God, for keeping my husband safe and gifting him to me for another day.
  • I mentally began to plan my day and week. Another performance to look forward to, which means a rehearsal tomorrow and three shows this coming weekend. I wonder how long I will be able to do this. Thank you, God, for giving me the strength to continue bringing laughter to others in a somewhat unfunny world.
  • I thought about last week and the fun we had with my sister and her husband, along with our own children. Thank you, God, for family and memories old and new.
  • I wondered about the government shutdown and discovered that it has been averted. I am grateful for this, because it would have affected so many people. Thank you, God, for America, even though she has been sullied by politics, you are still in control.
  • I thought about what I would write about today, and realized that I already had. Thank you, God for all your blessings. You give us all a reason to carry on.
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EL NINO – 2023-2024

Posted on October 1, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

As stated before, I am not a meteorologist. I don’t know much about global warming, except for what is happening to our earth as we abuse her. I do know that God is in control of everything that happens in the world. He created every star, each galaxy and knows how many there are. I’m not too concerned about climate change, but when I hear the words, “El Nino,” my heart begins to race. It appears that we are in for an El Nino winter. which should change my region from the frozen tundra to the garden spot of America. It all has something to do with the temperature of the ocean. I’m wondering if I can wait until January to plant tulips?

Occasionally our weather does incomprehensible things to our landscape. Hurricanes, tornadoes, straight line winds all have an effect as they rush through the plains and forests, cutting through trees, brush and buildings. The rivers overflow with water causing major floods. Snow can debilitate our schools and places of business. Electricity and other sources of energy are temporarily cut off. In many cases, people are displaced, lose property and some lose their lives. Some folks wonder how a loving God could allow that to happen.

When we go through those trials concerning weather or natural disasters, it’s easy to blame God. It’s also easy to blame Him for our misfortune, our losses and His lack of intervention. We’re quick to turn our anger towards a God we can’t see but fail to see our own mistakes. There is no question that we’ve not been good stewards. We’ve exposed the earth to toxic fumes, dirty, water, huge waste dumps filled with things that won’t decompose or go back into the soil. We set giant windmills across the country to supply energy but fail to think about the birds and wildlife that suffer because of them. We complain about the forest fires that rage their way into our environment. At the same time, we are careless with matches and untended campfires. Instead of trusting that God knows what He’s doing when these storms come, we try to come up with our own way of adjusting things.

Isn’t that true in all our worldly problems and issues? We seem predisposed to trying to fix things by ourselves and forget about asking God for help. We lack the knowledge to fix things, because we created the things that change our environment. Our Creator is often called on as a last resort. I’m not trying to say we should sit back and simply let God fix everything. He certainly wants us to protect our environment, but we have yet to find a way to correct the problems we’ve created. To emphasize this, we can find God’s own words to us as he speaks to Job, who suffered complete loss of family, property, wealth, land, everything. Here’s just a portion of his discourse:

Job 38:4-18

 “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand.  Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone— while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?

“Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt’?

 “Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place, that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it? The earth takes shape like clay under a seal; its features stand out like those of a garment. The wicked are denied their light, and their upraised arm is broken.

“Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep?  Have the gates of death been shown to you? Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? Tell me, if you know all this.

We are part of God’s creation. He placed mankind in charge of being good caretakers of his land and everything in it. We do have a responsibility. Our prayers and honor to God are vital. He doesn’t need our help, but He is reaching out to us to depend on Him and His mercy.


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FRUIT OF THE VINE

Posted on September 30, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

ART & POETRY BY KATHY BOECHER

Fruit, luscious, ripe and sumptuous,

A result of tender care and nurturing,

A life-giving sustenance for those who taste of it,

God’s gift to man is the fruit of the spirit,

A gift that cannot be measured by the insight of man,

It is inborn,

It comes packaged in our relationships with others,

In the engraved command of God upon our conscience,

In our caring for others,

In our ability to serve,

In our ability to put others first,

Sometimes it sits stagnantly.

It slowly rots and dies,

Still there is hope,

Jesus came to restore life,

He stirs the rottenness of inactivity,

He washes the putrid darkness of sin,

Making it clean,

And creates new life from old,

To actively be of use once more.

GALATIANS 5:22-23   “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

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WEAKNESS OR STRENGTH?

Posted on September 30, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

It doesn’t make sense to the logical mind that our weaknesses are an opportunity of any kind.  There is nothing good about feeling that you don’t measure up to what the world expects you to be.  Those feelings of weakness hold no value . . . or do they? Even as a child it becomes apparent that we must follow all the rules – be like so and so – be better – do more – reach for the stars.  What isn’t often taught is that we might fail.  We like the idea of success.  We don’t want people to think less of us because of our inadequacies.  Failure isn’t an option in our world.

But we do fail.  We aren’t always the perfect student, the amazing housekeeper, the brilliant mind, the life of the party.  If we were all the best at everything, there wouldn’t be any need to be the best, would there? Goals are great, but too often we set our goals so out of reach that they are bound to bomb.  We are in fact setting ourselves up for failure.  When we go through great difficulty, it’s hard to see that there is any good in it.  It’s tough to understand that there are lessons to be learned from your hardships, but believe me, when you look back at these temporary setbacks, you will be able to see that God is walking right beside you.  He had a plan that was better than yours.  He never left you for one minute.  In fact, there were times when he carried you.

He will use even our tough times to strengthen us if we trust that He knows what He’s doing.  Out of difficulty, we find hope.  We realized that success doesn’t come from what we do, but from the Creator of all things.  He will use our weakest moments to give us opportunities we never thought possible – opportunities to share His strength with others; to give hope to the hopeless; to let them know they aren’t alone in their suffering.   I call that real success!

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RIPPLES . . .

Posted on September 29, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

ART & POETRY BY PAUL & KATHY BOECHER

The rain ceases as quickly as it started,

Light glistens on the still water like precious gems

Shadows from the tree lined shoreline dot the peaceful river,

A single craft glides silently through,

Never realizing the trail of ripples that follow,

We may enter this world in silence,

But we create ripples as we go through life,

Never knowing what an impact we’ve made,

Yet every day, with every breath,

With every word,

With every action,

We are touching another human being in some way,

Let the stirrings you create make a difference,

Allow God to move mountains through you.

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WHAT’S ALL THE FUSS ABOUT?

Posted on September 29, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

Betty White was a wonderful comedienne. She could make us laugh with her St. Olaf stories. She had a great outlook on life. She loved animals and she didn’t pull any punches when it came to telling it like it is. I have always admired her for a number of reasons. She had a beautiful smile that would light up a room the minute she entered. She played characters that were naive, innocent and peppered with just enough sarcasm to set us back on our heels. Living for 99 years, she must’ve carried a lot of wisdom in that mind of hers. She also had a loving heart and supported causes that many wouldn’t. Her philosophy on life was to keep busy, mind your own business and don’t worry so much about others.

I often worry about not saying the right thing – about offending someone with what I do say – giving the wrong impression. Because of that, I often find myself hiding behind a mask. I am learning with age, however, what is necessary to get through this part of my life without falling into a constant state of depression. Those negative feelings are not only contagious, but they can eat away at your very existence. My answer to the age-old process of growing old is to not do it. It’s overrated. Just kidding! Life is worth living. Every second of it can be an adventure or a journey through the pits of hell. I prefer the adventure.

We’ve become a generation of people who sweat the small stuff. We used to laugh at ourselves and our shortcomings. Now we’re worried about being bullied or bullying someone else. A good case in point on that issue. My husband was teaching an after-school art class to elementary students. He had a small space in the cafeteria. While trying to set up his tiny area, a few teachers were on a mission to post “Don’t Be A Bully,” signs in his space. They virtually pushed him out of the way to get their signs on the wall. Hmm,

Our concern for stepping on other’s toes has morphed into a lack of communication. We used to problem solve through discussion. Meetings were held in person – not on a screen. Body language was a good indicator of how someone really felt about something. Those arts have stolen some of our common sense. We’ve also lost some of our nonsense through the new millennium. Betty White lived almost a hundred years. She was witness (as I have been) to massive changes in the way we do things. The thing that has heled us survive through all of time, is a good sense of humor. Let’s never lose track of how important humor is to our wellbeing.

I’m certain that God placed that sense in us, along with our abilities to see, hear, smell, touch and taste. It’s just as important as the rest of the senses. If you lose one, the others have to overcompensate. So, my advice to you today is taken from Betty’s mother who told her, “The older you get the better you get . . . unless you’re a banana.” That makes perfect sense to me.

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REMEDY FOR AN ACHING HEART

Posted on September 28, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

There is no greater remedy – no vaccination – no antidote – no panacea or cure than spending a day or more with those you love. We had that opportunity this week as my sister and her husband made the trek to Minnesota for a visit. Last night, the addition of our two Minnesota children and their significant others, added to the health care plan. We were surrounded with laughter, good food and stories from the past that still make us laugh our heads off. We took a few pictures. The one of my sister and me was meant to replicate the photo taken of us when we were children.

We haven’t changed much in 70 some years, and we still know how to smile for the camera. The beauty in both of these images is that our relationship over so many years has blossomed and flourished even though we live many miles apart.

One either side of our photo, are the men in our lives. My brother-in-law, Bruce and my husband Paul. Both of these men have always been the love of our lives and together we have shared multiple experiences that could create a wonderful standup routine for one of us to deliver. Each of our stories has been repeated, added to and blown out of proportion into the embellished tall tales of today, but they still cause us to laugh. I can imagine being in heaven and sharing these same life stories with others who have amazing memories from their own lives. It would be heavenly to sit around a campfire and tell them.

We’ve lived a very full life. There have been ups and downs for all of us, but we muddle through and even learn from those events that have thus far shaped us. We don’t have the pleasure of living close to each other, so the time we spend together has to be made the most of. Last night, we were relegated to the “children’s table” as the children went to the
“adult table” to eat and have a moment of freedom from our silliness.

Therapists can help revive a broken spirit. God can cause healing in times of pain or disability, but there is nothing like being with those you spent your childhood with. They’re probably the only ones who understand you, since you both shared almost everything when growing up. Except sweaters or boyfriends.

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LAUGHTER IS STILL THE BEST MEDICINE

Posted on September 27, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

Look at those faces. Both of these darling girls have nurtured their smiles over the years. They have become older, wiser, a little wrinkled, (OK a lot wrinkled in my case.) at times challenged or filled with joy. Just Ike our mother, my sister and I have inherited the gift of laughter. Every time we get together, it’s as if we’ve never been apart. She and her husband arrived yesterday from Nashville, TN after two days of driving. The anticipation of their arrival grew as the day went on. All I could think of was the last time we visited them at their home, and it made me more eager to see them. The minute they arrived; the laugh attack commenced.

As I think back to our growing up years, I remember the days of sharing a double bed with her. I recall taking the sheets off the bed and using them as evening gowns and parading on top of the bed as if we were in a beauty pageant. She always won, but I’m not bitter about it. There was almost a five-year gap between us. For the first five years, I was queen of the roost, and nothing was going to interfere with the pecking order. Not even the fact that we were related. I gave her a hard time all those years ago. Thankfully, we became best friends as we each left the nest and ventured into our own realms.

Years have changed us, but we still love to laugh. A little Chardonnay helps, but it definitely is not necessary. Our husbands are going through health issues right now that are life changing, but they have the same tendency that we do. In the face of adversity, laughter is always good medicine. Our visits are usually short. I don’t think we could handle more than a couple of days. When you get older, laughter can lead to all kinds of physical issues which often create additional problems. Still, there is something very therapeutic about a good belly laugh, guffaw or chuckle. Today there will be more as we add a couple of our grown children to the mix.

There is something wonderful about family. They can lift you when you’re down. They can encourage you when you think nothing will. They can empathize with you when you have similar things going on in life. They can laugh at your senseless jokes. We can’t choose those who become our siblings, but if I had a choice, it would be her all over again.

A sister is a person you can love with all your might,

She’ll do most anything for you.  You trust her with your life.

The best true friend you’ll ever have, she’ll never let you down.

She’ll have your back when others won’t and take away your frown.

A sister loves forever.  Her limits have no end –

A confidante – a mentor – a model and a friend.

Kathy Boecher©

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MY LOVE & ME

Posted on September 26, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

ART & POETRY BY PAUL & KATHY BOECHER

Thia piece of art was done more than five years ago. It was a joint effort, started by me and finished by my talented husband. Together we can accomplish great things.

Two lives mingle into one,

Of one mind,

One spirit,

One body,

Tempted at times by distractions,

Yet always returning to each other,

God watches over these creatures,

As He sustains us in marriage,

Never leaving,

Always faithful,

Watching and protecting,

Cuddling us in His arms,

Lifting us when we fall,

Teaching us to depend on Him,

And each other,

Breaking us,

Through all kinds of peril,

Building us,

Through disappointment,

Through misunderstandings,

And always returning to Him,

For guidance.

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THE STORY OF US PART TEN – THE WAITING CONTINUES . . . .

Posted on September 26, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

Then and now. 59 years have passed, and time has put us in a similar situation. When we started out, we were waiting. Today, we continue to wait. Our waiting is for different things today, but the fact that we’re together and still kicking is a wonderful accomplishment. It was not our doing, but the plan that God had already designed for us. We’ve been through thick and thin (literally.) We’ve made some wise and foolish mistakes in those years. We’ve prayed together. Our lives have become one with our maker. We continue to persevere. Our love has grown and matured. We complete each other’s sentences. We think each other’s thoughts. We’ve watched three babies turn into responsible adults who trust in God too. We’ve been blessed with three grandchildren who love the Lord. We’ve experienced poverty and wealth. We’ve walked through the valley of the shadow of death, knowing that we will never really die. Our suffering will end after death. We believe in miracles. We want to make the most of our years together. We look forward to what God has in store for us tomorrow and the next day. We worry, we fret, we pray for answers, we compromise even when it hurts. We love each other with a new kind of love in our aging years. We know that heaven waits for both of us because of what God gave us through His Son, Jesus.

We continue to wait for the next adventure. Though illness has caused us to pause and reflect – though our bodies are not allowing us to be who we were twenty years ago – though our hair has turned white, and our faces have become weathered – we show our love in a wiser way than we did 59 years ago. Anticipation will go on through the coming years. It’s part of the process of living.

We are not “waiting” to die. God continues to ignite a flame in our hearts to share His amazing grace with all we come into contact with. Paul often does this through his words. Though his speech has faltered at times, because of the strokes he’s endured, he continues to be zealous for God. Through his art, he shares the beauty of God’s creation. My tongue usually gets tied in knots when I speak about my God, but He’s given me words to share through my writing. Together, we’ve been able to complement each other with our God given talents. Now, as we age, we’ve learned to grow old with hope for a wonderful future.

I hope that this glimpse into our lives is helpful to those of you who are married, single and contemplating marriage and those who are struggling with their marriage. Eventually I will put the entire story into a book. In the meantime, we’re anxiously waiting for what comes next.

Dear, Heavenly, Father,
You have blessed our life together for a long time. It will be hard for us to say goodbye at the end, but we know that You have a place waiting for us that will far outweigh the stresses of this world. We are confident that our sins have been forgiven. Your love has been the cornerstone of our marriage. Help us to spend the remainder of our days, sharing your love with others. In the name of your dear Son, Jesus, we pray. Amen!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO THE MAN OF MY DREAMS!!

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THE STORY OF US – PART 9 – FUNNY FACES

Posted on September 25, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

OK, so why all this stuff about us? Tomorrow will be our anniversary. 59 years ago, we vowed to love, honor and obey. These vignettes are about an average married couple. Our story isn’t much different than most, but it was a special life to us. As we wind down this journey of ours, it seems like this is one way I can express my love for this man. We’ve had our share of problems, disagreements, anger, frustration, loss, unwillingness to budge. At the same time, we’ve shared joy, peace, contentment, blessings, a common faith and a lot of laughs. As you look at these pictures of us throughout the years, you’ll see that both of us enjoyed our time together, even when things weren’t always running smoothly. We both wore many hats. His hats were all indicative of who he was, while mine often masked what was going on inside. His visual appearance showed a confident, strong, handsome individual, while I took years to come out of my shell. Thanks to God, He brought us together to help each other through anything that life threw at us.

I have a million funny stories that happened during our 59 years together. I’ll give you a sampling of just a few. When I was a young mom, I became a Tupperware dealer. In those days, we had to travel to our host’s home and put on a show. I’ve always been up for that. I was driving an older car with my huge bag of products in the back seat. I’d have to drive across a long bridge, leading into St. Paul. My car began to overheat. This is before the age of cell phones and mass murderers. I sat there for a while, wondering if I should get my bag of goodies and walk to my destination. I thought about jumping off that bridge for a brief second. Thankfully, a stranger stopped and offered to help me. He said he would drive me to my destination, and I could call my husband from there. I was desperate, so I agreed. This guy was being a good Samaritan, but he could have been planning something sinister. As we drove, he told me he had a trunk full of frozen meat. He wondered if I would be interested in purchasing any. I replied that I didn’t have the money to buy anything, but I did have a whole bag of containers he could purchase to store his meat. I arrived safely. My car sat on the bridge until it could be towed, and I sold a lot of Tupperware that night.

Between the two of us, we could take our show on the road and create a lot of laughter in a not-so-funny world. As I said, he wore many hats in his life. One of his favorites was a fedora that made him look like Indiana Jones. He was working as a naturalist at the time. Often, as he would lead young children on guided nature tours, he would hear the Indiana Jones theme song being hummed behind him. One child asked him if he was a paleontologist, and Paul replied, “No, son, but I guess you could call me an old dinosaur.” In his years of advertising, there were countless stories of photo shoots gone awry – a cobra coming out of a basket – A turtle being photographed with a tiny helmet on its head. Trips into the Wind River Mountains to get the perfect shot of a seaplane gliding across a glacial lake, surrounded by towering pine trees – only to get stranded and lose the pack animals. Always an adventure, turned into a memorable story. One of those stories turned into an interesting situation as Paul and the photographer sat in a restaurant talking about shooting the mom and dad that day and planning to shoot the kids later. Can you imagine what people must’ve thought?

We’ve created some wonderful memories over this span of years. Many of them are hilarious, always mixed with a measure of humor and love. Most of those years were spent growing into one person – one mind – with one God. As a marriage matures, we can look back and see our failures, lift each other out of the pits, rely on each other for a good laugh, muddle through the good and the bad. These days, we find humor in the feral cats that inhabit our neighborhood. He still makes me laugh when he talks like Donald Duck. We find joy in recalling some of those old memories. We laugh at ourselves as we lean on each other to get from one place to the other. Good marriages don’t just happen. They take a huge amount of work, compromise, giving in, love and having a common faith. Even then, you aren’t guaranteed a perfect life together. God gives us challenges along the way, that always seem to draw us closer to Him. Laughter can make those challenges a lot easier too.

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FALLING LEAVES

Posted on September 24, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

ART BY PAUL T. BOECHER – TEXT BY KATHY BOECHER

We have a huge black walnut tree in our yard. Each fall, the leaves are the first to spin to the ground. When there’s rain, we have a golden carpet covering the almost dormant grass. My first inclination is to get those leaves bagged up and carried off.  Maybe I’m learning to enjoy the beauty of God’s intricate and complex creation. Like those dying leaves, I resist the thought of growing old and hang on tightly to life.

The fallen leaves eventually decompose and become nourishment for the soil.  They’ll create shelter for the little critters who need it during the long, cold winter months.  They’ll make a cozy nest for those who inhabit the trees.  There’s a purpose for everything God has created.

God has a purpose for you and me as well.  We flourish in the spring and summer seasons of life.  We find our niche in life.  When Autumn inhabits our bodies, our true colors come out, just like those leaves on the trees.  We’re at the peak of our existence.

Winter creeps into our tired old bodies and we wonder why we’re still here.  We wish our struggles would end and God would finally take us home, but we hang on – sometimes longer than we need to.  However, our lives are always filled with purpose and value, even in our dying days.  God has used this time to bring us closer to Him and allow us to share His love with those we leave behind.

Life passes quickly, but it’s given to us as a time of grace from God alone.

” I urge you, then, be imitators of me. That is why I sent you Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord, to remind you of my ways in Christ as I teach them everywhere in every church.” 1 Corinthians 4:16-17

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THE STORY OF US – PART 8 – IN SICKNESS & HEALTH

Posted on September 23, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

1 Corinthians 13:4-7: Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

The vows we made at the altar on September 26, 1964 remained with us throughout our marriage. As we stood there with our entire life ahead of us, we had no idea what it would bring. The vows we spoke went something like this.

“I take you to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

We knew that this knew adventure wasn’t going to be a piece of cake, even though our wedding cake was a good start. We didn’t know we would experience times of adjustment and compromise. We didn’t know that a tube of toothpaste could cause our first argument. That is after the deer incident on our honeymoon. We didn’t know that we would go through difficult days, wondering if there would be enough to live on. There would be times when we would get angry over silly things. We didn’t know that we would experience poverty, wealth, disappointments, job changes, providing for three children. If we had known all those things, we may never have stood before God to take those vows in the first place.

We experienced the death of both of our fathers, early in our marriage. We had the opportunity to take each of our mothers into our home during their aging difficulties. We experienced sickness and health – not only our own, but those of our children. Many trips to the ER in those early years. We became regular visitors. My husband took his sister down the aisle for her own wedding. It was then that he realized the weight of his grief for his father.

Early in our marriage, when the kids were all little, I thought I was going to lose my husband. His heart was racing. He felt that something was off, so I called the doctor, who came to the house. Believe it or not, they actually did that in the old days. The doc determined that it was just an anxiety attack and put him on tranquilizers. In those moments before the doctor arrived, I sat with him, and we prayed the Lord’s Prayer together. I truly thought he was going to die. I had no idea how I was going to raise three children without him.

There were other incidents when I thought he would be leaving this world. When he experienced tachycardia and drove himself to the hospital. He was living in Minnesota while I was preparing a move from Wisconsin. A call from the hospital encouraged me to get to Minnesota as soon as possible because my husband was at death’s door. It turned out to be a hyperactive thyroid which was treatable. He called me from the hospital, and we prayed The Lord’s Prayer and asked that God’s will be done . . . again.

In our many years together, sickness and health seemed to be a part of it. There were times when we were full of vigor and could move mountains – or at least mole hills. Paul once hoisted a huge cross to place at the front of our church. He reached the top of the ladder and prayed for the strength to be able to actually accomplish the task. His prayer was answered. He was a leader in our church Pioneer group of boys. This would take him to his sanctuary – the woods. They went on snipe hunts and told tales to young lads who would never forget them. His adventures out west had him going through the mountains on horseback and living under the stars. Those trips were part of photographing beautiful advertising for his clients. He became an environmental naturalist as one of his many jobs. He chiseled away at a chunk of wood and created masterpieces of art. He also re-enacted an artist who went along on early explorations of America.

As time went on, both of us began to lose our vigor and strength. Prostate Cancer would enter the picture somewhere later on and require multiple days of radiation therapy. Again we prayed. There was a small stroke, macular degeneration and of course the small stuff that went along with it all. When it appeared that all was well, we prayed again to thank God for being with us once more.

I know we are to surrender all our cares to God. I realize that we can only muddle through on our own. God is in control of everything, but during those times of crisis, it seems even more difficult to give in. The final surrender will come when life ends. In the meantime, we continue to pray. I will not discount a miracle, but I have the comfort of knowing that life never really ends for us. God has made that possible through His own dear Son. Letting go does not mean giving up. It does mean relinquishing control to the One who has this. Saying the Lord’s Prayer is good too.

Next time will be about the funny things we did together and continue to laugh about.

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FIRST DAY OF AUTUMN

Posted on September 23, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

ART & POETRY BY KATHY BOECHER

The first day of autumn –

We see colors of great intensity, breathing their last,

Each of those leaves was once just a seed – a tiny specimen of life –

Part of God’s amazing masterpiece.

That leaf turns green. Tiny veins spread throughout, carrying nutrients to each part of it.

Summer heat begins to sap the life from that leaf. Each gentle drop of rain restores it.

It suddenly becomes bathed in sunlight, heat and sometimes distress.

As the Autumnal equinox approaches, that leaf has changed.

Its edges begin to curl up. Its color becomes weathered. Its life is sapped.

Still, even in that glorious season, new life pours out of it in brilliant hues that only God can display. It resembles a Kaleidescope containing shards of colored glass, changing daily.

He paints each one from the extensive colors of His palette.

The winds and rains will cause it to fall to the ground from whence it came.

Each season has its own glory. They are all in our heavenly Father’s hands.

We are born in the season or spring, when new life begins.

The heat of summer expresses our youth and time of exploration and discovery.

In autumn, life is beginning to depart from us. Our strength withers. Our stamina is replaced with long naps.

In the winter of or life span, we die.

But this is just the beginning. For eternal life is waiting on the other side.

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THE STORY OF US – PART 7 -UPS & DOWNS & UPS

Posted on September 22, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

As both of us entered our 40th year of living, we surprised each other with a party that truly did surprise. In February, everyone hid in a photography studio as Paul & the photographer were off on a photo shoot. When it was over, they returned to the studio to be greeted by screams of “Surprise.” In June, it was payback time. I was surprised by a whole backyard full of friends at 9 AM. As he led me to the deck with a cup of coffee in hand, there they were. Thankfully, one of his gifts to me was a new bathrobe. We’ve always loved surprising each other with good times and friends.

Paul was at a point in his career when things were really going well. Our accountant suggested we buy a new house, because our current dwelling was no longer a tax break for us. We moved into our dream house. The foyer opened to a winding staircase, which I envisioned my two daughters descending in wedding dresses. I won’t spend a lot of time on that house, because, as with most of the bad situations in our life, I try to erase them from my memory. I’ve forgotten just about everything about it, except for that staircase and the last Christmas we spent there.

It was 1991. The bottom was falling out of the economy. Large corporations that had fed Paul’s agency for 12 years, were pulling their advertising in order to save money. Paul had to downsize his staff. People whom we had grown to love, had to be cut from the work force. It was one of the most difficult things he ever had to do. Letting those people go, was like cutting off one of his limbs. Within a year, the company folded completely as the bank called in its loan. There we were in this beautiful mansion, trying to figure out how we’d pay the final year of tuition for our youngest daughter to finish high school. Our son was one f the employees who had to be let go as well. Our oldest daughter worked for her dad for a while but was now starting a new life with her husband. The bottom was falling out.

We turned again to the only One who could fix things. God has been our ever-present help in good or bad times. Most of our friends were from our church or Paul’s business. We discovered who the real ones were during this time of transition. Our bank accounts were seized. Our cars were repossessed, and our house went into foreclosure. It was a dark time in our existence, but we continued to look for the positive in what was an almost impossible situation. It’s those times that held us tightly together, glued to the One who had always taken care of us. Paul kept a journal that read like the book of Psalms.

The house went up for sale and we were able to live there for another year. It was kind of ironic, living in a mansion but struggling to survive. God sent another angel to us. We’d encountered many in our life. Just when we thought we might have to live in a cardboard box, under a bridge, a former business associate offered us a house to buy on a contract for deed. Paul was 50. It was hard to get employment at that age. Up until then, we both took odd jobs to keep food on the table and afford us enough to buy a car. Eventually he was employed by another ad agency, back on the lowest rung of the ladder. I worked for a housecleaning service and eventually started cleaning houses on my own.

We had a second, third, fourth and fifth chance. God never gave up on us and we continued to follow the plan he had laid out for us. After a few years of restoration, Paul again decided to start another business. Wood Creek Designs was born out of that time of trial. When he picked up his wood chisels and started to carve things of beauty out of discarded wood, it was as if God was showing us another new path. For me, He had something else in mind. All those years of training young minds how to perform before an audience, allowed me to start a small business too. It’s really amazing how God has already planned our futures for us. It’s up to us to follow His lead.

We would live in the house we purchased from a real angel for 24 years. Approaching our next adventure would take us back to old stomping grounds, old church friends and a new community which would feed our love for the arts. We prayed this would be our final move, but God has other plans for us. I can’t wait to find out what they are.

Next time, I’ll share with you about that phrase in the marriage vows that talks about sickness and health. Our lives have been filled with both of those things. Through all of it God is faithful.

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THE STORY OF US – PART 6 – LADDERING UP

Posted on September 21, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

Our first year, like most young married couples, was filled with getting to know the real us. I would discover his passion for hunting. I already knew that being one with nature was part of him. Our honeymoon took us to the north shore of Minnesota, but it was bow hunting season in Wisconsin. I knew that, because we planned our wedding to avoid opening day of the season. Still, on that romantic trip, we stopped at my grandparent’s farm and Paul went hunting. I went along and sat in the car reading a book as I waitied for him to return with a huge deer. Time went by – maybe an hour or so. I had visions of his being trapped in quicksand with no way out. I thought maybe a wild animal was gnawing on his arm. In my panic, you’d think I would get out to look for him, but instead, I beeped the horn. Within minutes he appeared from the woods in a rage. It seems he had just drawn his bow and was ready to shoot a magnificent animal, when I laid on the horn. The incident almost ended our marriage, then and there.

As for me, I’ve always lacked self-confidence. When we would attend his work functions together, I always felt inadequate and out of place. He displayed confidence and could strike up a conversation with anyone. I always admired that trait in him. Eventually some of it began to rub off on me.

His love of hunting would become a seasonal event each year. I’d find dead pheasants in the refrigerator – with feathers and other parts completely in place. I became accustomed to weekend hunting adventures without me. Many times, he would come home empty handed, but in the midst of it all, he was getting a taste of another thing he loved – God’s beautiful creation. I discovered that this nature boy of mine, knew so much about flora and fauna, he could even come up with a cure for something out there in the woods.

During those first few years, we learned to be patient with each other as well as with our challenges in the workplace. He was working for a printing company, setting type like Ben Franklin once did. He was learning all the tools of the trade. I was trying to figure out the scribbles of my shorthand and learning how to adapt to my career in the business world. He was making $1.50 an hour and I brought home $1.25 and hour. Between the two of us, we had enough to pay the rent and eat. We bought our first house for $14,000 a few years later. We created three new lives during those early years. I became a housewife. The jobs on the ladder to success were many. We moved from Milwaukee to Appleton, Wisconsin. A few years later, we moved to Minneapolis. All of our moves took us to new jobs and new churches. We became involved in all of them. Most of our friendships came from our Sunday gatherings.

During my years as a housewife, there were times when I felt trapped. Most mothers do, I think. Especially when this is their full-time career. You go through changing diapers, cleaning up messes, trying to find time to teach, cuddle, read to and love your children, but often neglect yourself in the process. Dirty dishes would sit in the sink until suppertime. Chores would go undone in order to take a sick child to a doctor’s appointment. Potty training – sewing clothes rather than buying them – making sure they were healthy and happy – having a hot meal on the table. All of that was an amazing part of my personal growth. I had a family that depended on me for those things. Still, I felt unfulfilled. Mainly because the budget was exceeding the income. I felt I should be contributing. Eventually I was able to take jobs that would allow Paul to be home with our children while I worked a part time job at night.

During that time in Appleton, we experienced challenges, roadblocks and loss. Our family was growing, our struggles always led us to prayer as we muddled through. I could write a whole book about our children, but that will have to wait. This story is about us. I think every marriage goes through some rocky roads along the way, but if you share a common faith, you have much more of a chance for success. Maybe it won’t be material success, wealth or notoriety, but the one thing that matters most to both of you – your relationship with God will continue to grow. Ours wasn’t without problems though. We came from different backgrounds and many of those old habits wouldn’t change for a long time.

Paul was on the road to success. His years of training in printing, publishing, art, advertising, graphic design would allow him to eventually start his own business. By this time our kids were all in school and I started to focus on something I loved doing as a child. I became a volunteer drama director for our children’s high school. This would lead me back to school myself. I discovered that I could still write scripts. produce and direct them and be with my children while doing it. A win-win situation.

And then the bottom fell out . . . .

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THE STORY OF US – PART 5 – READY, SET, GO

Posted on September 20, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

So much was going on around us. It was 1963. President John F. Kennedy was killed by an assassin’s bullet. The event was televised. A few days later, his funeral procession would also be seen on TV screens across the world. In 1963, Martin Luther King addressed the nation with his “I have a dream,” speech. The Beatles made their debut in America. There was rioting in the streets, looting and bloodshed, man’s inhumanity to his fellow man. Camelot was dead. America was changing in so many ways.

The man I loved was about to ask my father for my hand in marriage. My dad had a wry sense of humor and when Paul approached him with the question, he replied, “Go ahead. She’s your problem now.” The voice of tact had spoken, and we became engaged. A year later, my father would be exceptionally testy. He was doing weird things, like throwing the newspaper down the clothes chute and placing the coffee pot in the refrigerator. He was not a man of many words, but something seemed off. He would get angry about things that didn’t make sense. He was making me crazy, so I finally asked him what was going on, I never had the nerve to talk to my dad this way, Tears filled his eyes and he replied, “I’m having a hard time letting you go,” It was a week before the wedding. I was witnessing a completely different side of the dad I grew up with.

We married in that Gothic, Lutheran church that I grew up in. It was a beautiful wedding with all the trappings. The sermon was based on the 23rd Psalm, which would be repeated many events during our lifetime. A reception followed at a German restaurant that had become a favorite of my new husband’s family. Two families were joined as one.

One year later, my father-in-law would pass away in his sleep. This compassionate, loving, talented man was only 56 years old at his passing. Paul would now be called upon to take care of many arrangements, along with a mother who had completely broken down. We were just starting our marriage and a series of new events that would change our lives. We continued to press on, always trusting that God had a plan designed just for us. We were learning new lessons every day about life, death, survival, unconditional love and living for alone another.

As I write this story of ours, I can’t help but be moved by the comments of many of you. Everyone has a tale to tell. Each one is unique and filled with many twists and turns. With each story, we can learn something that will help us get through the tough times. Our story isn’t anything special, but for me it’s a way to explain how special life can be when you share it with the one you love and place God first in your marriage.

Can you imagine what God has planned for each of us. He promises that He will always be with us and that He has a plan designed for each one living on this planet. That’s what makes our stories so unique and interesting.

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SEPTEMBER 19TH – TALK LIKE A PIRATE

Posted on September 19, 2023 by atimetoshare.me
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THE STORY OF US – PART 4 – MORE WAITING

Posted on September 19, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

When I finished my last post, I was reminded that I broke up with Paul during that first year of college. It was a time when I doubted whether making a full commitment to this man was the right thing to do. We were both so young and inexperienced in the dating arena. We had become close friends through high school. We talked about our faith – we had questions about how we would go forward in our lives – he was sure what he wanted, I wasn’t. I felt this time apart would be a real test for us. We could be free to date others and then make up our minds what we would do in the future. He wasn’t happy about my decision. We went our separate ways. I dated one of my college friends. He dated a girl that he worked with at the “Y.” The chemistry wasn’t there for either one of us. I guess it didn’t take much testing for me to find out that my plan was a mistake. We were made for each other.

The first year of extended education was over. Paul would now head out for his stint in the Air Force. He enlisted in the Air National Guard and became an airplane mechanic. He sent me the above photograph in his uniform. My mother went berserk. She said he looked so handsome in that uniform. You’d think she was the one pledged to be his wife. He did look amazing though. When he came home after basic training, he had put on 20 pounds of muscle and had acquired a whole new vocabulary. He was dismissed from the dinner table for using some of it. That language eventually went away- thankfully. During his time in the reserves, Paul was called to be on alert for the Bay of Pigs Invasion. No one was sure what was going on at the time, but they had to gear up and get to the airport pronto. Again, God was guiding our future. The Invasion was avoided, but there was a lot of nail biting going on waiting.

I had another year of school. I was involved in the local learning channel puppet show productions. I acted as a stage manager. I look back at this time as a precursor to what I would do later in life with my writing skills and TV experience. I learned the art of Shorthand. I call it “an abstract art form.” I got my first real job at the end of the school year as a stenographer, because I had this ability. The problem is, I didn’t know what all those scribbles meant. It required me to ask my boss to repeat the letter. Eventually I worked from a dictaphone machine. My boss was a very understanding man. My place of employment was an advertising agency in the media department. I learned all about placing ad space and researching the demographics of specific areas. That experience came in handy when Paul went into the same field of endeavor.

That year went quickly and when he returned from the service, he enrolled in the Layton School of Art to study art. He became well versed in sculpture, design, painting and studying art history. All of those things helped him to follow the path he’d chosen for his life. I was now in the workplace and making money. After the ad agency folded, I found another job in a finance company, working as a cashier, loan closer and skip tracer, which was kind of like detective work. This is when I had the horrific experience of being robbed at gunpoint.

As you can see by the other photograph, Paul was now sporting a Van Dyke beard and mustache – very artsy. I was paying attention to the fashion magazines, with hair that reached the ceiling and required two cans of hair spray. We were a darling couple. We had no idea what we’d be getting into when we married, but it would be an adventure of a lifetime. We watched as some of our high school friends tied the knot. We waited again for the right time to get married. Believe it or not, we also waited to consummate our love until our wedding night. I know that isn’t the norm these days, but we were both glad we waited.

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THE STORY OF US – PART THREE – WAITING

Posted on September 18, 2023 by atimetoshare.me

The summer of 1960 was filled with magic moments for both of us. Each had different plans for the next step in our education. I would have to work to pay for mine. So, I spent the summer working at the factory my father worked at. I got quite an education on the assembly line. Women of all ethnicities, coming from different rungs on the societal ladder, would sit for 8 hours a day, assembling miniscule parts. Everyone on the line smoked cigarettes as they worked. I guess that may be what got me into the habit. I knew it wouldn’t be good for me, but I succumbed to the second-hand smoke and decided to participate. I made enough money during that summer to pay for my first year of technical college.

Paul worked part-time as a gas station attendant. The cost of his education had already been budgeted by his parents, so much of his free time was spent at the family summer home on a lake. I’d join him on weekends with his family. I often tried to get up on water skis, but never did. He, on the other hand, was an expert at all water sports. He would spend those weekends as part of the crew on the large sailboats which sailed regattas. He also became a caddy at the golf course for many wealthy golfers. Throughout his life, he has been curious about everything. I’ve called my grandson a walking encyclopedia, but I often think my husband took part in writing those books.

As I was learning how to smoke and a whole different vocabulary, he was gaining confidence, good monetary tips, more knowledge about the upper class and living in a completely different world than mine. When we weren’t working, we spent time together. We’d play tennis – or should I say, he played tennis and I chased the ball. We took romantic walks along the lakeshore. We planned for our future together.

My mother became Paul’s greatest cheerleader. She was sure we’d be married and did everything in her power to make that happen. She tried to impress him with a turkey dinner, (Paul’s favorite) with all the fixings. She prepared the turkey before going to work, put it in the oven and forgot to turn on the timer. When she returned to finish the meal, the turkey was still raw. This happened again the next day. Finally, a turkey with all the fixings was presented at our dinner table. I’m not sure if she went out and bought a new one each time, or if it was the same turkey. He loved the meal and she felt vindicated. I remember a time when Paul had won a huge, fake diamond ring in a gum machine and placed it on my ring finger. My mom took me by the hand to get a better look at it in the light. Mom realized it was a fake and we all laughed about the entire incident.

In the crispness of Autumn, he would be off to Chicago, and we wouldn’t see each other again until Thanksgiving. During that interim, I was settling into a world of new thinking – away from the daily teachings of the Bible. I spent hours at the Milwaukee Public Library, trying to absorb every bit of culture I could. I’d read poetry and philosophical books as I sat in a chair with earphones playing classical music. I thought I was so sophisticated and free. There’s something about taking that step into adulthood and becoming a part of it. I was recognizing the plight of the lower classes. I felt bad about the prejudice that was building in my city. The power of the sexual revolution and the racist issues that were beginning to boil in the 60s ate away at mind. It was a time of wondering. Where was the justice in this world of mine? How could I be a link in changing any of it.

As I tried to imagine my place in this time, he was learning all about his own new world. The reality of life full of sin and darkness became his environment for a time. While living and going to school in Chicago, he began to see corruption, decline in morality, homelessness, depravity and a side of life that he had never witnessed before. Prior to this, he was shielded from experiencing any of it up until then. In his classes, he was learning all about anatomy while drawing sketches of nude models. All of this was a complete culture shock to him, but he pushed forward through it all. Both of us were entering a time of questions.

That first complete year together was filled with many memories, good and bad. When the school year ended, we were both changed. He would be leaving for his time in the military that summer. Six months of basic training at Lackland Air Force Base in Texas would keep us apart and writing letters. Our love for each other continued through those days, but I was starting to question our future. I began to question everything I had learned about God, about commitment and about love.

More to come tomorrow . . . .

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