One thing I’ve learned since I semi-retired a few years ago, is that I wasted a whole lot of time worrying about the small stuff. When you’re in the process of beginning adulthood and being responsible for others, you sometimes feel you need to be a super hero. Often those self-imposed requirements for living can get in the way of actually living. I say that, because as I look back on a lifetime of looking after the needs of others, I often failed to take care of myself.
In a way, being a caretaker does that to a person. In fact most of us are caretakers in some form or another. We devote ourselves to perfection in every area of our living. The house must be in perfect order before we can open it to guests. The meals have to be on the table at a certain time with nutrition and taste in mind. The laundry must be done on a specific day. The grocery shopping requires time to pack, load, unload, unpack and put away, not to mention wear and tear on your back. Lunches must be packed. I still have nightmares about not getting lunches packed for my kids.
Special words of encouragement must be administered. Hugs and pats on the back are huge necessities. In our working life, we also strive for reaching our goals, living up to others’ expectations and often putting our own lives on hold.
As we grow old, those tasks become more and more difficult. Simple things like making a bed is a two hour chore. We physically lose muscle mass. Stretching a fitted sheet onto a mattress is not designed for anyone in their seventies. Our bodies sag and our skin looks like an old saddle bag. Even so, we are unique in every way. God made us that way, right down to the minute details of our DNA. He knew what we would be even before our conception. That’s amazing to me. He knit me together in my mother’s womb. Powerfully wonderful words. Each of us is a work of art, in spite of things we might consider imperfections.
So, what I’ve learned is that we shouldn’t sweat the small stuff. Life is really too short to do that. Think of all the years of wasted time we could’ve used in fun, helpful, enjoyable, satisfying ways. Don’t wait until you’re too old to discover that fact. You are one of a kind and so am I. That’s what makes our world interesting. Knowing that God has ordained us for a perfect life after death, also helps.
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13
Psalm 103:13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him”
My dad would be 101 today, but he went to heaven instead at the age of 61. This giant of a man – in my eyes – stood about 5’6″. He was a complex man, having spent most of his childhood without a father of his own. His dad disappeared one day and they never heard from him again.
From that time on, my dad and his three siblings were partially orphaned, but they still had a strong woman for a mother. As dad grew up, he took on many of the responsibilities of a father. He took many tough jobs at an young age, to help support the family.
This wonderful man also had a bit of a dark side (as most of us do.) He liked to drink. Maybe it softened his having to grow into a man at such an early age. Maybe it was an escape for him. He could drink anyone under the table, but rarely appeared to be drunk.
He was strict. He never laid a hand on us, but he certainly knew how to use words that stung even more. Self esteem wasn’t in his vocabulary, but responsibility was. He expected a lot from his two daughters and we were both low on our own confidence pole.
Fathers have a way of defining who we marry, what we become in life and what we expect out of ourselves. For a long time, I was afraid of my heavenly Father, because I compared him to my earthly dad. It wasn’t until I married, that I discovered there was more to God than simply an angry Father.
He’s been gone for 40 years now and memories of him have softened. I realize that he was doing the best he could. He loved the Lord and served Him in our church. He knew that he was forgiven and in his later years began to share that with us. I miss him still.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD!
Despite all his faults, he remains one of the most important people in my life. He gave me one gift that has supported me through my life. He felt it important for me to get a good Christian education and of course that meant a private school and lots of money that we didn’t have. Dad took on more extra jobs to make that gift possible.
Yesterday I talked about little girls, so it’s only fair to give equal time to little boys. When I was pregnant with our second child, I didn’t know it would be a son. I had some apprehension about having a boy. What would I teach him? How could I relate to him? Would he turn out to be a good man? My expectations became reality, when our baby boy was born. I would experience the joy of cuddling the precious little bundle and watching him grow into the image of his dad. He followed his father’s footsteps into the woods at the age of three. Tramping along with daddy as he was taught all the things he needed to know about nature and the outdoors.
I would soon see the results of that as he brought home all kinds of wildlife – including bugs of all kinds, frogs and toads, a baby duck and a snake. It was the only snake he brought home. After peeling me off the ceiling, he promised he would never do that again. He had a bucket of toads that he kept in a window well of our house. They escaped and made their way inside. As I watched TV one night, I saw something moving across the shag carpeting. It wasn’t moving too fast, because it kept getting stuck in the carpet. That was the end of the toad collection.
I knew I could count on him to get rid of any pests that might invade our house. One day I heard our oldest daughter screaming that there was a mouse in the hallway. I immediately heard the whack of a tennis racket and then a cry of disgust from my daughter. My boy had come to the rescue, although I never saw the results. Another time he donned a football helmet and with hands armed with tennis racket and fishing net, went on the hunt for a bat. That tennis racket got quite a workout in our home, but we didn’t need to call an exterminator.
Little boys are totally different than little girls – although in the current day and age, we’re expected to accept the right to change that if we choose and not to look down on anyone who does. I don’t want to offend other people, but for some reason, our world has become so sensitive to issues regarding gender identity that we find it necessary to rethink Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head. But don’t get me started.
When we’re responsible for raising children that will be an asset to society, our thoughts should be focused on the ultimate goal. Little boys will grow into men. The way they are treated as boys will indicate how they relate to others when they reach their adult years. They need to be shown by example what it is to be a strong role model for their children. They need leadership skills. They need to respect women and treat them with honor. They must be taught how to use their talents to help others. There is a natural difference between the sexes and God ordained them for a reason. The minute we try to take God’s plans and manipulate them into our own desires, we are stepping way out of bounds.
Raising children in this period of time is challenging beyond my imagination. I’m glad God put me in a different generation. Times change. We need to adapt to some of those changes, but I really think it’s time we got back to basics again.
I only had one sibling – a sister. My mother came from a family of five girls before three sons arrived. I was fortunate to have two daughters of my own and am blessed to have one granddaughter. Girls are indeed special. They have within them the power to nurture and tend to the physical needs of others. They have a monopoly over emotions which are countless and they have hearts that will melt easily. The idea that men are superior to women is just not true and God tells us that. Man was created by God out of the dust of the earth, while woman was taken from the rib of man, because that was the closet to the man’s heart. She was designed to be man’s equal, his partner, his friend, his lover and a necessary part of him.
When my grandmother was raising her daughters, the fears were the same as most mothers worry about today. Moms have always wanted their daughters to remain pure and untarnished, but today they provide them with birth control devices so they don’t get pregnant. Or the option of adoption is negated by abortion. My grandma knew that her girls would face temptations. Moms today do as well, but are faced with a barrage of the world’s view of what is expected of girls. Our daughters are being taught to become women now before they enter puberty. When I see photographs of ten year old girls with plumped lips and signs of plastic surgery everywhere, or when I see them wearing clothing suitable for the red light district, it breaks my heart. Today for some reason, our children don’t have the opportunity for childhood. They seem to jump from the playpen into the lion’s den in the blink of an eye. There is also the question of gender choice, which was already done at conception. Something is wrong with this picture.
Some of this happened when women felt they were getting the short end of the stick – not being paid the same amount for their work that men were – not being valued for their contribution to society – not having meaningful jobs. The women’s movement did some good for those things, but it also erased a lot of the good things that women experienced just by being women. They were honored and cared for by men. They weren’t slaves, but rather often placed on a pedestal. They were entrusted with one of the most important parts of the human experience – having children and raising a family.
God never looked at women as second class citizens. He is the ultimate gentleman. He has given us equality with our counterparts, but today we don’t even understand the difference between the sexes and why they were created to be what they are.
Instead of worrying about how fast our girls grow up, how they look, what they wear, we need to focus on the heart of the matter – their hearts. Little girls are a precious commodity. Raising them to be different than what God intended them to be, is contrary to His divine plan. It’s time for mankind to stop trying to take over God’s job. We will never be able to accomplish what He has done, nor will we be able to change it to suit our own appetites.
“But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” Matthew 6:6
My novel, “Until Our Dying Day,” is still in the editing process and may not ever be published until my dying day, but one of the female protagonists uses the woods as her prayer closet. When things become overwhelming for her, she ventures out the back door and into the forest to talk with God. As time progresses, her husband has a stroke and requires her constant care, so she moves her prayer sanctuary to a closet in an upstairs bedroom. We may all need a quiet place just to be with God for a while – a place where we can express our frustration, our fears, our sadness, our depression, our anger to the only One who understands what we are going through. Putting yourself alone with the Creator of the universe can give you such a sense of peace, knowing that He is truly listening to you in that moment.
I don’t have a woods to run to . I do have a large closet which could be converted into a prayer room, but right now it’s full of clutter – much like I am. Even though my husband and I are the only ones who inhabit our house, there are times when I want to scream a prayer or let God know I’m angry. I need a woods, a closet, a space dedicated to those moments – outside the earshot of anyone else. Of course our prayers can be said within any room or any place, but the fact that we have access to God at the drop of a hat is really astounding to me. I tend to talk to Him a lot throughout the day. The tiny conversations we have are usually one sided and concern my needs. We’re invited by God Himself to reach out to Him and He will hear our prayers. We shouldn’t feel as though we’re taking advantage or giving up by going to Him. He loves hearing from us, no matter where we are.
The beauty of a prayer closet is that you are in a quiet place, thinking only about your talk with Him. You don’t have anyone else to answer to. Your focus is tuned into His Words back to you and His Word spoken to you through the Bible.
When Jesus came to earth in the flesh of a man, we had God physically with us for a time. He is coming back again and we can look forward to meeting Him face to face. He faced the temptations thrown at Him in the wilderness and used scripture to support Himself. We have those words today, to get us through – to overcome the devil and all his wickedness. When we pray, it should be a time dedicated to God alone, whether it’s with fellow Christians in church, or in that quiet place we’ve designated for that purpose.
I grew up in a day and age when vaccinations were commonplace. Before we entered school we were already immunized against small pox, DPT and later Polio, Measles and Mumps. For a while there, I was a pin cushion. When my husband entered the Air Force he was again stabbed with an assortment of live bacteria to protect his immune system against diseases he might, but probably wouldn’t encounter. So for us, getting a shot isn’t anything new. However, there has been a lot of confusion over this newest of vaccines against COVID19. By the time everyone is vaccinated, the vaccine itself will probably be obsolete. Since I’m not a scientist, but often feel like a sheep being led to the slaughter, it’s really not up to me to make any evaluation. However, last Friday, my husband and I spent our date night doing our part for America and we got our COVID shots.
That night I had a series of dreams which included a herd of buffalo stampeding by the thousands and falling off a cliff. I dreamt of growing additional body parts, becoming encrypted with a chip which would decipher all my thoughts, words and deeds. I felt remorse over getting the shot, but felt a bit patriotic for doing so. The next day, I was exhausted. I thought it might be a side effect from the shot, but now believe it was because of all the dreams and sleeplessness of the night before. I don’t have any additional appendages. I’m still upright and alive. I didn’t fall off a cliff, although I still wonder if herd immunity is nothing more than a herd of the blind following the leader who also happens to be blind.
This pandemic has put my creative juices into overdrive and my imagination has always been a little over the edge anyway, so nothing new is really going on. Since I grew up being punctured with various vaccines, I don’t feel this is any different than what I grew up with. I’ll let you know further when the rash clears up and I stop coughing.
The Mark Twain story of how Tom Sawyer got his friends to do his work for him, is that of an entrepreneurial young man. He made the job so appealing that his friends were even willing to give him something in exchange for a shot at that worn out fence.
Some would call Tom a con artist. Maybe he was. I think he was simply using common sense. When something looks like fun, chances of wanting to participate are much greater than if it looks like work.
Do you suppose if we made homework look more like a video game, kids would be more willing to do it? Or how about chores around the house? If mopping the floor or dusting the furniture was completely choreographed with show tunes and flashy dances, would we be more willing to do those things? What about team work? Could we use these same tactics to build communication skills and problem solving?
Get out those paintbrushes and mend the fence. If we start working together and sharing the responsibility, maybe we can get through some of the messes of today. It’s worth a shot.
“In America, we hurry–which is well; but when the day’s work is done, we go on thinking of losses and gains, we plan for the morrow, we even carry our business cares to bed with us…we burn up our energies with these excitements, and either die early or drop into a lean and mean old age at a time of life which they call a man’s prime in Europe…What a robust people, what a nation of thinkers we might be, if we would only lay ourselves on the shelf occasionally and renew our edges!” – The Innocents Abroad, Mark Twain
When my now 25 year old grandson was about three, he created his first book. He loved listening to his grandpa talk about nature and would often search under rocks to observe the insects. Because he started learning about the value of life, even at that young age, when I actually stepped on an ant he was devastated. I had killed a living thing. This young man is now teaching English in South Korea. We’re very proud of him and his journey as we are with all of our grandkids, but this ant adventure got me thinking about how we really do need to enjoy all of God’s creation, even the tiniest of them.
I love digging in the dirt. I think it started when I was a little girl making mud pies. I’d form the dirt into little cakes, place them on a china plate and cover them with sprinkles. The dog enjoyed the topping, but it stopped there. As my years went by, I took a vacation from making mud pies, but when our children grew I took to the dirt again. I terraced an entire hill over the course of 24 years and planted an assortment of perennials so the grass would never have to be cut again from that steep incline. I often became one with the dirt as I traversed across the expanse. My neighbors watched, hoping I might tumble down and provide some entertainment. I unwillingly obliged a few times.
As I was pulling some nasty little weeds, I happened to observe a tiny ant trying to move a leaf almost three times its size. It amazes me how God provides strength and determination to the very smallest of His creation. The ant struggled and finally picked up speed until he came to an obstacle, which was a tough one for him to overcome. He pushed and came at the road block with fervor but lack of strength. In the meantime, another ant saw an opportunity and sped over to steal the leaf. The two appeared to take each other on, but the conflict lasted only a couple seconds. Suddenly the two of them were behind the leaf, side by side, pushing it over the bump and on to its destination.
I wondered what they said to one another and how quickly they resolved their problem. I learned some valuable lessons from those little creatures. They not only communicate with each other, but they know how to solve problems without killing each other. They instead chose to work together for the good of both of them. Their work ethic is also amazing. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could be more like those little insects?
My grandson no longer considers me a murderer, but he did have a good point. Everything under heaven has been created by God for a purpose. Even the tough obstacles we face each day. If God takes care of the smallest of His creatures, how much more can he do through us? When we help others or they are of help to us, we’ve got the perfect partnership, especially when God is the CEO.
“Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer     and gathers her food in harvest. How long will you lie there, O sluggard?     When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber,     a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber,     and want like an armed man.” Proverbs 6:6-11
Thinking of warm summer days, I pulled these paintings out of the archives for your enjoyment. Another look at life on the river.
Like ships in the night, we pass through this life, We’re tossed and oft crushed by the waves, We sometimes sail peacefully then there comes strife, It seems not a single one saves.
We enter a harbor protected and safe, It cradles and calms all our fears, A sweet sanctuary, a place to call home, Unbound by sheer terror or tears,
Still waters there greet us, He’s waiting to meet us, The Savior and King of the world, No more shall we struggle our path is made clear, His cloak of salvation unfurled.
Psalm 46:6Â Â – “Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; – Bible Gateway. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall, he lifts his voice, the earth melts.“
What a picture! All around us there are wars and rumors of wars. People continue to fight over borders and greed turns men into vultures, but all God has to do is open His mouth and everything will be gone. This is power no man can comprehend. So they try to figure things out on their own.. They rely on their reason and intellect to solve the problems of this world. Wouldn’t it be easier to let the Lord of the Universe and all creation, take the reins? With Him as our champion, we have nothing to fear. Help us to come to you,
Heavenly Father, for all our earthly needs. Help us also to be comforted by the fact that you ARE in control and this world is only our temporary home. AMEN!
When you reach the winter of life, every day is a gift. Even in times of crisis, in days of distress, mourning, loss, anger, there is good in each of them. Being in the season of Lent, we are to look inward. We should become aware of our sinful nature and hearts that have grown cold over time. We should ask God for forgiveness and to give us a fresh start. It is a time of repentance, humility, sacrifice, and realizing how much we need a Savior. Jesus spent forty days in the wilderness before beginning His ministry and this can serve as an example for us for observing this season if we’re doing it for the right reasons.
Matthew 6:16-18 “And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face,  that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
As followers of Christ, we should try to live as He did when He walked the earth. Because we are by nature sinners, this is next to impossible but through His unconditional love, we have the knowledge that He has done it all for us. Still we should observe this season with reverence to our God and out of obedience to Him.
We are now in a time when we need to hear the Gospel message more than ever. We feel like lost sheep in search of green pastures. We long for face to face contact – touch – fellowship – friendship – family. We are a hurting people in need of something far greater than any vaccination – a balm for healing our hearts, our sadness, our longing, our feelings of hopelessness. If we’re going through the motions of giving up, fasting, worshipping publicly, in order to look good in the eyes of our fellow man, we’re mistaking the true meaning of repentance. In fact, the act of church attendance is not what’s going to save us, nor is our sincerity, our pride, our knowledge, or our acts of contrition. Only the sacrifice made by Jesus/God Himself will bring about our salvation.
Yes we should look inward. We can study God’s Word for the truth. We can share the love that God has shown us with others. We can be grateful for each morning we’re given. Our time on this planet spans a very short period of time. What we do with those moments are important, but they aren’t going to buy a place in eternity. Only Jesus can make every day a great day, because He has given us eternal life.
Why do bad things happen to good people? It’s a hard question to answer in a world that’s full of ugliness, hunger, pain, inhumanity, brutal death or hardship. It’s especially hard to answer for a Christian, because it may be assumed that we go through life without any of that, or that we are oblivious to it.
I wonder why some people have it all and others just scrape by. I hurt inside when I think of all the blood shed in countries living under cruel oppression. My heart aches when I hear of acts of a deranged mind taking the lives of others. Tears fall when a young person dies. When undeserved pressures plague those who trust in God, I wonder where God is in all of this.
God is in control of everything that happens in our universe. He placed the stars in the heavens and created all life that exists here. He planted each seed to grow and nourish His children. He provides for our daily bread – even when it’s just a crumb. On the other side of the coin – from the beginning of time, we’ve been disobedient to God. What we deserve is punishment, but God loves us and doesn’t want us to suffer. He provides a way for us. That WAY is Jesus. The ransom required was paid in full by Him. Our sin no longer holds us in chains. He’s given us the victory.
This world isn’t our permanent home. What’s waiting for us on the other side of eternity is where life begins. We’ve been given this time to grow our relationship with God. It’s a time for us to share our love for Him with others – to serve Him, by serving others – to face difficulties with Him as our counselor – to look forward to freedom from all the troubles of this world.
God is faithful and His love endures forever – even in times of trouble. That’s truth we can count on!
In our busy lives, time can become so full of things to do and plans to be made, that we often forget time for our Savior. What if He hadn’t left the comfort of heaven, the power of His throne, the majesty of His domain to die for us? Be sure to find time for Him. He has so much to offer.
Fears, depression, loss of hope, destitute, paralyzed,
Lost, lonesome, anxious, set aside, deterred,
Uncertain, worried, in the wilderness,
Yet, even then, we are surrounded by the love of God,
I have to admit, Paul and I go way back. Maybe not this far, but our time together has been filled with ups and downs and wonderful memories like most marriages that occurred in the fifties and sixties. Marriage is looked upon in a different way today, but for us old fogies, we knew what was ahead, in spite of of innocence and foolishness. We muddled through the good and the bad, because it meant something to us – something that would last a lifetime. Reality has shown me that had we known what we would’ve endured in all our time together, we might have had second thoughts about ever entering into marriage, but aren’t the really important things in life worth fighting for?
Paul claims to be an 1800s man living inside of twentieth century body. He loves the primitive things in life like camping, hiking, trips of retreat into the woods, whittling on a stick and watching the clouds go by. He loves making things out of nothing. His inventive spirit led him through a life in the advertising business where his ideas were put to good use, but his heart would be much happier on the back of a horse riding through the mountains. I’m a city girl. Having moved several times during my young life, I longed for a home that would be in the same location with all the amenities. I preferred a vacation at the Holiday Inn to sleeping under the stars. I liked the idea of civilization and consistency.
Somehow the two of us managed to find common ground. The good old days, however, were not always so good. There were bills to pay, babies to care for, a mortgage, a few job changes, staying at home as a mom, finding the way through some very dark times. Yet our commitment to each other was always there.
This post isn’t about marriage really. What I hoped to convey is that the good old days are going to be days of today for our children and grandchildren. Every generation thinks theirs is the best. Each generation knows that isn’t true. There are always going to be flaws in the image. Our memories of what life was, soon get glossed over and we forget about the crud that occurred some 40, 50 or 60 years ago and we move on. When we walk with Jesus, every day is good even in times of trouble.
As I reach the end of my years, I find I have a lot of good information stored up in this old decrepit mind of mine. If I don't write it all down, it may vanish and no one will have the advantage of my thoughts. This is why this blog exists. I love the Lord, Jesus with all my heart and soul. I know I'm undeserving of all He's done for me, but I also know that His love is beyond my comprehension.
I've always wanted to write. I never kept diaries, but tucked my thoughts in my head for future reference. I use them now in creating stories, plays, poetry and my blog.
I continue to learn every day. I believe the compilation of our time spent with God will have huge affect on the way we live. I know I'm a sinner and I need a Savior. I have One through Jesus, Christ.
My book, "Stages - a memoir," is about the seven stages of life from the perspective of a woman. It addresses all the things girls and women go through in life as they travel it with Jesus, and it is available on Amazon.com.
Life is a patchwork of moments — laughter, solitude, everyday joys, and quiet aches. Through scribbled stories, I explore travels both far and inward, from sunrise over unfamiliar streets to the comfort of home. This is life as I see it, captured in ink and memory. Stick around; let's wander together.
God's amazing grace removes walls and replaces those barriers with Jesus, freedom from sin's consequences, freedom to forgive, and freedom to love unconditionally.
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