AM I A SECOND GUESSER?
Yesterday Brandon Adams at https://brandonjadams.com, wrote a great post about mothers that prompted me to respond. My motherhood journey was much like the one he spoke about in “To The Mother Who Second Guesses Herself.”
It seems from the day I became pregnant with my first child, there was always a feeling of incompetency. I felt like a fish out of water, even though I’d done a lot of babysitting and watched and learned from my own parents, I never felt qualified for this most important job.
When we enter the realm of parenting, we pretty much fly by the seat of our pants. We’re inexperienced, unprepared and novices of the first degree. We don’t realize that our time is no longer our own. We’ll be making sacrifice after sacrifice for the benefit of this new human being. We will make mistakes up the kazoo, because we haven’t got a clue what we’re doing. Even those who seem to have it all together, have to face things that no CEO of a multi=million dollar company will ever encounter.
Every child is different. Every situation new and uncharted. Every blunder we make is going to have an affect on this child, so we have to be a little paranoid at times. Even though my children are grown and have children of their own, I still have dreams about not getting their lunches ready for them in time. In fact I had one last night.
It prompts me to believe that once a parent, always a parent. The job is ongoing and won’t end until we depart this veil of tears. We’re called to teach how to tie shoes, recognize letters and numbers, potty train, share, be kind, polite and respectful. If they fail in just one area, we take it personally. I do. Of course, I’m one of those moms that Brandon is talking about.
As they begin school, we participate in their learning by helping with homework – teaching social skills – personal hygiene – help them to learn to play and solve problems without tearing each other apart. We struggle if we can’t give them everything they want and feel guilty because we can’t. We forget that all they really want is us and our attention.
We strive to make them independent, but our hearts break when they don’t need us anymore. We glow with pride at their accomplishments, but blame ourselves if they fail. We try to help them financially, but want them to learn from their struggles. We encourage, instill moral behavior, push, lead, direct and pray that somehow we’re getting through to them.
Being a mom is one of the most wonderful experiences a woman can have, but at the same time one of the most difficult. If you ask your children if you’re doing a good job, at some point they will undoubtedly say you are, but the proof is in the pudding. This is a tremendous responsibility and that requires hard work.
I’m not Jewish, but I often feel I had a Jewish relative somewhere along the line. Feeling guilty about not doing enough has often been equated with Jewish mothers. Come to think of it the first parents were Jewish, weren’t they?
Posted in Family, Mother's day, parenting, Uncategorized
Tagged child rearing, encouragement, FAMILY, guilt, Inspiration, mother's day, parenting, second guessing
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WRITERS’ FUNNIES
IF ANIMALS COULD TALK, IS THIS WHAT THEY’D SAY? COW SHOULD I KNOW?
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PEACEFUL RIVER TOWN
ART & POETRY BY PAUL & KATHY BOECHER
Where do you find contentment when all around seems lost,
In city streets so dimly lit, at an expensive cost,
In valleys green where water pours through rives pure and clean,
In waters deep, that wind and creep and keep the valley green,
In the darkness of the soul within, is that were you find peace,
In a sanctuary built of stone, where your problems you release,
Do you see it in the people that you greet most every day,
Is it in the quiet laughter of a child alone at play,
Is in in the calm serenity of music, art or dance,
Or does it come from looking at your love’s sweet, smiling glance,
Don’t search in darkest corners, you’ll never find it there,
The light that shines from heaven, will take away your care.
Posted in art, Christian daily devotion, Poetry, Uncategorized
Tagged Art & Poetry by Paul & Kathy Boecher, encouragement, Hope, Inspiration, Peace, tranquility
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WRITERS’ FUNNIES
WHAT KIND OF WOLF ARE YOU?
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SAD MOTHER’S DAY?
Soon we’ll be observing a day honoring mothers. Let’s not forget those who have lost children and pray that this day will also honor them for their gift of life. These are the ones who don’t find much joy in this holiday – those whose children were stillborn or miscarried – those who have experienced the joy of giving birth, but lost their children to illness or tragic death – those who keep their children safe while their husbands serve their country – moms of children with special needs – moms of children who have turned to a life of crime or addiction.
I know of one woman who lost six children to miscarriage. Each one of those children holds a special place in her heart. She named each one and they have lived in her memory ever since their death. Each child becomes a human being at the time of conception and, had they made it to full term, they would be an active part of the family.
These women deserve to be honored on Mother’s Day. They have rejoiced when that child was conceived and mourned when they were lost, still they are mothers. If you know someone who has gone through any of these situations, tell her how special she is. Giving the gift of life to another human being is one of the most important things a woman can do.
Moms are purveyors of comfort, deliverers of love and encouragement, merchants of morality and learning, solicitors of peace and understanding. They are the vessel of God’s handiwork. Mother’s need a pat on the back each and every day of the year! So do those who have lost their beloved children.
Psalm 139:13, “For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.”
Posted in Christian daily devotion, Inspiration, Mother's day, Uncategorized
Tagged celebrate life, death, encouragement, eternity, mother's day, Salvation, SPECIAL MOMS
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WRITERS’ FUNNIES
I wonder if they have spell check for the balloons that appear in cartoons.
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MY MOTHER IN LAW
My mother-in-law was a very classy lady, who dressed perfectly, with hat, gloves and all the proper accessories. She was soft spoken, an excellent partner to her husband, a great cook, a wonderful mom. I wanted to emulate her, because she was the “Leave it to Beaver” mom everyone wanted.
She spent her young life being pampered by her brothers. Her parents were hard working immigrants from Germany, living the American Dream. Her dad was a Jack of all trades – a blacksmith, a builder, an inventor, craftsman and a sheriff. He raised his family to go to church, be good citizens and love God.
After she married my father-in-law, she became his partner in life as well as work. They ran the family funeral business and their living quarters were upstairs. This meant the children had to be quiet and respectful of the mourning families below.
She became active as a volunteer for many church and school activities – one of the original church basement ladies. Her expertise in cooking was daunting to me, since I never felt I could live up to that, but later she taught me some of her secrets.
Her husband passed away at the age of 56 and she was left with difficult life decisions. What to do with the business? How would she survive? There was no life insurance – can you believe it? You’d think that would be of utmost importance in their line of work, but instead they invested in cemetery plots. There is no need for any in our family to buy a final resting place.
With all of these tough decisions, her mind snapped. She became delusional and paranoid. My husband was only 22 at the time, but he became the decision maker. She moved in with her mother-in-law and that lasted for several years. There were expenses to be met, but she hadn’t actually been in the real work force for a number of years. It was a difficult time.
At one point, we had her move in with us when our children were teens. She stayed with us for a year until we could no longer meet her medical or psychological needs. She had been diagnosed as psychotic schizophrenic and was heavily medicated, so we made the tough choice to place her in a nursing home. She lived there for the rest of her life, which was several years. She adapted once again, as she had many times before.
When she passed into Heaven, I was going through her few remaining belongings and picked up her leather bound Bible. The leather was cracked and weathered, there were passages underlined, special little notations throughout and pages were worn and obviously loved. She gave that love of the Scriptures to her children. Her mental illness didn’t interfere with her love for God’s Word. That had been part of her for a lifetime.
Most people don’t have a very high opinion of their mothers-in-law, but mine definitely was a queen. Her life changed drastically over the years, but she always held strong to her faith and lived it every day. I look forward to seeing her again in heaven.
Posted in aging, Christian daily devotion, Mother's day, Uncategorized
Tagged Bible, encouragement, FAITH, Inspiration, mental illness, mother's day, mother-in-law
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LIFE GIVING REFRESHMENT
ORIGINAL ART & INSPIRATION FROM PAUL & KATHY BOECHER©
Root bound and parched,
Replenished only by the restorative,
Power of water,
Each tendril pushing,
Burrowing into the,
Coolness of life sustainment,
Lapping up,
Refreshing,
Renewing,
Thirst quenching,
Provision of God,
Our dried up bones long for the comfort,
That comes from the fountain of God,
Only He can renew, restore and revive,
Dead, thirsting souls,
Through His love we are nurtured,
Brought back to life and thrive,
And even when our days on earth are ended,
We are assured eternal life,
Where we will thirst no more.
Posted in art, Christian devotion, Poetry, Uncategorized
Tagged Art & Poetry by Paul & Kathy Boecher, encouragement, Hope, Inspiration, Jesus, Life giving water, shepherd, thirst
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LOVING SHEPHERD
Yesterday was Good Shepherd Sunday. When I started blogging three years ago, someone posted this beautiful poem so if it was you, come forward and take credit. It defines our Savior, Jesus to perfection. He laid down His life for the sheep and continues to cradle us in His arms.
THE LOVING SHEPHERD – Anonymous
The Shepherd loved His little lamb and gave it tender care and followed it with loving eyes as it wandered here and there.
As He sat by His grazing flock – who so meekly His voice obeyed. He pondered sadly His little lamb as again and again it strayed.
The little lamb had a loving heart, and adored His Shepherd true,
He turned aside and went his own way as lambs will often do.
With His gentle voice the Shepherd called, to His loved and straying lamb, “Come back, little one, for you are not safe unless you are where I am.”
But still the lamb would soon forget and unthinkingly wander away, And not really noticing what he did – from the Shepherd’s side would stray.
Until one day, the Shepherd kind, took His rod in His gentle hand, And what He then did seemed so cruel that the lamb could not understand.
For with one sharp and well-aimed blow down the rod so swiftly came That it broke the leg of the little lamb and left it crippled, and lame.
Then the little lamb, with a cry of pain, fell down upon his knees
and looked up at his Shepherd as though to say, “Won’t you explain this, please?”
Then he saw the love in the Shepherd’s eyes as the tears ran down His face, As He tenderly set the broken bone, and bound it back in its place.
Now he was utterly helpless. He could not even stand! He must trust himself completely to his Shepherd’s loving hand.
Then day by day, ’til the lamb was healed – from the flock he was kept apart… And carried about in the Shepherd’s arms and cradled near to His heart.
And the Shepherd would whisper gentle words into his now listening ear… Thus he heard sweet words of love that the other sheep could not hear.
He felt the warmth of the Shepherd’s arms and the beat of His faithful heart… Until it came a blessing to seem, by his weakness to be set apart.
Every need of the little lamb by his Shepherd so fully was met That through his brokenness he learned what he never again would forget.
And as the broken bone was healed, and once more became whole and strong… Wherever the Shepherd’s path would lead, the lamb would follow along.
Thus at the Shepherd’s side he walked so closely, day by day, For once a lamb has a broken leg it will never again go astray.
For the cords of love had bound it so in its hour of weakness and need… That it had no desire to wander away, when once again it was freed.
Could it be you are broken today, and you cannot understand The painful blow of the Shepherd’s rod nor believe it came from His hand.
He only seeks, by this painful thing, for a time to call you apart… To cradle you close in His loving arms, and draw you near to His heart.
So look up into your Shepherd’s eyes and earnestly seek His face… And prove in the hour of your weakness and need – the sufficiency of His grace.
For as you are borne in His loving arms, and carried there, day by day… He will bind you so close with the cords of His love that never again will you stray.
ANONYMOUS
Posted in Christian daily devotion, Good shepherd, Jesus, Uncategorized
Tagged encouragement, God's Love, Good Shepherd Sunday, Inspiration, Jesus, path of righteousness, Poetry
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I DIG DIRT
Ever since I was little I had a close attachment with dirt. I loved making mud pies. I enjoyed digging for worms. There was something about squishing your fingers through the moist soil in search of buried treasure or who knows what. I believe I also consumed a certain amount of it during my childhood.
The fascination faded as most things do when we grow up. But later, in my 50s, I decided to tackle our front yard. We’d just moved into our old “old” house a few years before and the chore of cutting the grass on a 45 degree angle with a power mower almost landed my poor hubby in the middle of the street.
I’m the kind of person who likes to tackle a bad situation and try to make something better of it, so I took it upon myself, one Mother’s Day, to terrace the front yard with a spade, shovel, garden gloves and a lot of sweat.
Year after year another level appeared. I became obsessed with finding larger rocks to keep the hill from caving in. My biceps actually were visible and muscles showed up where I never knew they existed. I added many perennials on the way down and always felt the watchful eye of my neighbors as I traversed the hill.
After 20 years the hill became self sustaining and didn’t require a lot of work until I planted a ground cover called Crown Vetch. The invasive 4″ pot began to spread like wildfire, eventually overtaking the entire hill. Once again the neighbors could see me hacking away at the evil weed, This time they were more concerned about my safety and a possibly broken hip,. Eventually my body pretty much said, “That’s enough” and the Crown Vetch won.
We moved last year. Now the new residents can take over the maintenance. I felt sad leaving all those hostas, flowering myrtle, Sedum, Echanacia, Iris, Lily of the Valley, tulips, daffodils, creeping phlox, garden phlox, etc., but I really don’t miss the Crown Vetch. In fact I feel as though a big weight has been lifted from my back.
Sin can be like those invasive little weeds that move into our space and take over. They’re as insidious as the devil himself, but we all know what happened to him. If we let the weeds of sin go on living within us, we’ll never be happy, we’ll always feel depressed, lonely, angry or bitter. If we sincerely repent daily of our sin, we can be sure that the Master Gardener has already paid for our transgressions. He forgave the world once for all.
I’ve been discovering new treasures on our new “old” property. This place has no hills, lots of flat space, some random perennials that have great potential and no Crown Vetch.
I hope the new owners will forgive me for planting that little 4″ pot, but maybe they will care for that garden as I did – or build a retaining wall – or tear it out completely and put in a lawn!
Posted in Christian daily devotion, forgiveness, sin, Uncategorized
Tagged devil, encouragement, forgiveness, Gardening, Inspiration, Invading space, Jesus, Sin, Weeds
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ARE WE READY?
In 1963 a list of Communist goals was shown to the House of Repesentatives. I’m going to list just a few of them today, but if you want to read more, go to the article, “The Communist Takeover of America – 45 Declared Goals,” from Greg Swank. I find it interesting that some of them have already occurred.
1. Develop the illusion that total disarmament [by] the United States would be a demonstration of moral strength.
2. Do away with all loyalty oaths.
3. Capture one or both of the political parties in the United States.
4. Use technical decisions of the courts to weaken basic American institutions by claiming their activities violate civil rights.
5. Get control of the schools. Use them as transmission belts for socialism and current Communist propaganda. Soften the curriculum. Get control of teachers’ associations. Put the party line in textbooks.
6. Infiltrate the press. Get control of book-review assignments, editorial writing, policy-making positions.
7. Gain control of key positions in radio, TV, and motion pictures.
8. Discredit the American Founding Fathers. Present them as selfish aristocrats who had no concern for the “common man.”
9. Discredit the American Constitution by calling it inadequate, old-fashioned, out of step with modern needs, a hindrance to cooperation between nations on a worldwide basis.
10. Support any socialist movement to give centralized control over any part of the culture–education, social agencies, welfare programs, mental health clinics, etc.
Well, that’s just ten items and there are 41 more. I find it interesting how these very things have maneuvered their way into our lives. Without even realizing it, some have been deceived into believing this is what America stands for.
When something is motivated by the devil, you can bet it isn’t going to be blasted all over the news media. He works undercover. He slinks around, gnawing away at basically good concepts until they are slowly devoured. It would be nice if we didn’t have to be on guard all the time, but that isn’t the nature of this particular beast.
When he first appeared to God’s perfect creation, his image was that of a serpent. The very nature of snakelike behavior is seductive – alluring – mysterious – cunning. He convinced Eve that she could be like God if she did his bidding. We all know the rest of that story.
The truth is that we as Christians need to be watchful every minute of every day. We as Americans should also be diligent. The devil would be delighted if he could bring our country down. He is winning souls here everyday.
God, I know that you have defeated Satan and sin has no power over me anymore, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need the armor of your protection. Keep me vigilant. Protect my country from those who delight in seeing her die. Remind me every day of your faithfulness!
Posted in America, Christian daily devotion, country, Uncategorized
Tagged America, communism, Constitution, deception, devil, Patriotism
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COME ON OVER!
Since we moved into our “new” old house, we’ve had a number of visitors. Some came to welcome us to the neighborhood, some came out of curiosity to see this 1885 property. There were those we told to stop by anytime – just not after 9 o’clock, because we’d likely be asleep. That sort of thing happens to us regularly now as we’ve entered our golden years.
I used to work hard at making an impression for our guests. I’d spend days trying to figure out what to make for a special meal or dessert. I’d spend lots of time making everything Pinterest perfect. I worried about things like that, but this old body doesn’t have the same get up and go that it used to. It got up and went. Still we have had more gifts in six months than we had in years at our old house.
Neither one of us has the obligations of a regular job. Before our move,I was drowning in work and didn’t realize it. My husband struggled with health issues and it was difficult keeping up with the cost of our “old” old house. Being freed from that huge monetary obligation allows more spontaneity. We don’t care about making an impression, but we need the fellowship of others.
God gives us instructions in the Bible that don’t always make sense on the surface, but they ring true when it comes to eternity. His Word talks about hospitality and welcoming strangers into your home to make them comfortable. In our times, that would seem foolish. We all keep our doors locked. We ignore or push people away when they ring the doorbell. We walk away from those we don’t know and unfortunately don’t even get involved when someone is hurt or in danger – a sad commentary on what we’ve become as a nation.
Hospitality means welcoming friends, but also opening your doors to strangers. Basically, I think God is referring to kindness to others in this context. He wants us to reach out to those in need – to the sick, needy, poor and helpless. We do this not to obtain a special place in heaven, but because by doing so, we are serving Christ. We are in fact doing those things for Him.
If you know someone who could use your kindness, your patience and your joy, share it with them. Who knows, you may be entertaining angels in disguise. Above all be faithful in prayer, not only for your own needs, but for the needs of others. We have become a nation of skeptics. We need to open our arms and fold our hands again.
Posted in Bible, Christian daily devotion, Jesus, Uncategorized
Tagged Christian devotions, encouragement, Friendship, hospitality, Inspiration, kindness, service
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TALES OF THE CITY
A string of box cars clatter across the tracks – chugging, clanking, rattling,
Slowly creeping through the city, on a mission to somewhere,
What lies within those cars?
Is it something perishable, something necessary for life, life itself?
Surrounded by traversing wires in the sky,
Shrouded and dwarfed by the silos prepared to greet them,
Greeting other cars along the way,
A range of sizes and shapes, dotted and covered with graffiti,
The language of a transient, a poet, an artist, a soul,
Switching back and forth through the web the city weaves,
A tapestry filled with threads of life, if you look for them.
The city can be a lonely place, but when you let yourself,
You will see that life abounds in every square inch,
Open your eyes,
Look for the beauty,
Don’t let the outer appearance fool you.
Posted in art, Christian daily devotion, Poetry, Uncategorized
Tagged Art & Poetry by Paul & Kathy Boecher, beauty within, city, darkness, plein air art
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