It has been almost three weeks since I finished my novel. I set it aside before beginning one of my final edits. You may call it procrastination. You might think of it as fear of failure. It could be considered a breaking down of the barriers that bind. For me it was a time of rest. I really needed to step away from this work for a while. My mind had actually turned to mush and was getting confused and obsessing over detail and timelines.
Perhaps when I return to it next week, I will have thought about it more and decide to make some changes which could lead me down a completely different path. When I wrote the last sentence, I felt good for a number of reasons. First I had actually finished the story. Next I had completed it in the necessary number of words. I felt good about the places my characters decided to take me. I struggled with them at times, but most of the time they won. I came to a point where I felt that I rushed my ending and I believe I will still have to work on that.
In also discovered some things about myself. I am a dedicated writer – maybe not a great one, but I know how to discipline myself to write every day. Each morning I rise with the sun and prepare my daily blog. Usually this includes writing a piece of poetry to go along with my husband’s art work. I then write either a spiritual or humorous piece, depending on how I’m feeling at the moment. I usually spend about two hours writing every day. Consistency gets you into the habit of doing something at a certain time and in a specific place.
I, like my husband, was brought up in a different time and place, where work ethic was essential. Discipline is necessary. Consistency and order are part of our every day existence. Paul has been an inspiration and a good example, because he paints every day. Some might say we’re chasing the wind. There is no material gain in what we do, but it’s something we both need to do. An artist – a musician – a writer – a dancer – an actor all have this inborn desire to practice their art.
It could well be that I will die in front of my computer screen and he will cease to be while painting his final masterpiece, but we will go to heaven knowing that we used the gifts that God gave us, not only to satisfy our own needs, but to inspire and touch the lives of others with our work.
A few more days and I’ll turn the first page – again. In the meantime, I’m still trying to decide the most efficient way to get my book in print.
When we think about the word “surrender” we naturally assume a sort of giving up – giving in – acceptance. When the white flag of surrender went up at Yorktown, it signaled the ending of the American Revolution. Almost a hundred years later the American Civil War came to an end as Generals Lee and Grant shook hands. I watched the last episode of the PBS series, “Les Miserables,” Victor Hugo’s tale of the beginnings of the French Revolution. The same thing occurred to Jean Val Jean and his nemesis as they both eventually surrendered to death.
Last October, I embarked on an old career. I stepped on the stage to perform again. The play was, “Southern Fried Funeral,” in which I portrayed Ozella Meeks, the church lady who tended to all the funeral arrangements. I guess you could say I was typecast, since everyone knows I’m a church lady. It was a true challenge to myself to see if I still had the ability to memorize lines and bring a character to life.
