WRITERS’ FUNNIES

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HUNGRY GOATS

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Recently, my home state of Minnesota decided they would try to control invasive plants which are killing the good ones.  Where does one go to retain a group of goats?  I suppose they call UNEEDA GOAT or some other rent a goat operation.  In any case it seems funny to me that they are returning to using these animals for what they were originally designed to do.

Maybe, over time goats have received a bad rap and now because of political correctness, we are tolerating them in our cities.  What once was unheard of is now good.  I’ve also heard that chickens are making a comeback in the city.  Little hen houses are popping up all over the place so that people can enjoy fresh, unprocessed eggs for breakfast.

Isn’t it strange how we set limits on things and then realize we might have overlooked the obvious?  For example, we could get rid of all the gas guzzling cars and revert to riding horses to and from work.  If you work at home – even better.  You won’t have to clean up after them in transit.  Maybe we should add cows to the mix as well.  A tall glass of warm non-pasteurized milk would taste great on a hot summer day.

So let’s get back to basics.  Many cultures revere their animals and some even think their relatives have reinvented themselves within them.  Animals forged the path across this great country.  They helped to create roads, feed families, produce clothing and much more.  The least we can do is repay them in some small way – like having them take the place of weed whackers. I’m sure they’ll enjoy the benefits.

Oh boy, I have left myself wide open for attacks from PITA!

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CHOICES

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“We are not living in a world where all roads are radii of a circle and where all, if followed long enough, will therefore draw gradually nearer and finally meet at the centre: rather in a world where every road, after a few miles, forks into two, and each of those into two again, and at each fork, you must make a decision.”  C. S. Lewis

While on vacation these past couple weeks, I came to the conclusion that I am free to make choices, because God made me that way.  He didn’t make cookie cutter versions of each of us.  We all have an inner voice which guides us one way or the other.  That voice is called conscience and seems to have been erased over the past few years as non-existent or foolishness.

As young men and women graduate, they’re making choices that will affect their future.  They’re choosing a career path, education options, who to associate with, whether religion is relevant, living off their parents or deciding it’s time to fly. When we choose a spouse, we have to make bigger decisions.  When we start a family, the choices are no longer ours alone.  When you reach old age, you think you’ve finished making choices, but not so.

For the past few months, I’ve been wallowing in sadness caused by the loss of several of my dear friends.  I’ve been witness to the results of aging and the disabilities it causes.  I’ve struggled with my own aging process.  I’ve been searching for peace in retirement, as I feel I still need to work.  In other words – I’ve been choosing to be depressed.

I know in time there will be healing from all the death surrounding me.  I also know that those who have passed are already in heaven waiting for my arrival.  The process of death is not what makes a Christian sad, it’s the grieving process that follows which can disable us.

So what do we choose?  Do we continue to feel sorry for ourselves and live in darkness for the rest of our days, or do we find joy in looking for ways to be happy? It shouldn’t be a difficult choice.  The toughest choice ever, was made over two thousand years ago, when God chose to send His Son to the world, to be crucified, suffer death and placed in a tomb. The grief was tremendous, but the joy was insurmountable on Easter morning when Jesus conquered death for all.

I know God still has plans for me.  I’m not sure what they are, but I am confident that they are going to be for my good and the good of others.  It’s time to choose happiness!

 

 

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WRITERS’ FUNNIES

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PUNCTUATION, PUNCTUATION, PUNCTUATION!!!

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NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS

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For two weeks, I was rarely exposed to the noise of a TV, the cacophony of rhetoric out of Washington, the negative, the fake.  The Senators Foghorn Leghorn, who love the sound of their own voice were a distant memory.  The local news channels fighting for a scoop and reporting stories with equally irresponsible journalism, was nowhere to be found.

Since returning home, the news has returned, but I’ve turned a deaf ear to it.  I only have one good ear anyway.  We can tune out all the ugliness of the political scene.  We can ignore the state of the world and the hotspots erupting all around it.  We can even cocoon ourselves from all of it by turning inward, but there is too much which needs to be fixed and the ugliness of that truth always rears its ugly head.

So what do we do when all the prattle becomes too much?  What do we do when we can’t do anything about it? Why do we feel we have to be the ones to fix it?

So many minds are still focused on an election which has been over for six months.  Too many have stored up anger which will go on for months and even into years.  The topsy- turviness of our world has caused many to despair, give up and even cave to anxiety.

If anything is going to change in this world, there needs to be a return to the One who created it.  God is longing to hear from us.  He wants us to ask for His help.  He is the only One who can provide it.  We can’t suppress the anger that has overtaken our country, but He can.  Too many have forgotten how to do that.  We’ve lost sight of the power of prayer – especially when more than a few are praying for the same result.

If you’re tired of yucky news, if you feel cheated or lost by what’s going on in the world, if you want to retreat to a desert island forever, turn it over to God.  He has it all mapped out.  His plan is sure.  He will not disappoint us.  He loves us.  PRAY!

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LIFE IN THE CAR

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Who can forget this scene from the movie, “Vacation”?  Chevy Chase assessing the damage while his family looked on in dismay.  In this part of the story, Clark Griswold has a man to man “good talk” about life, with his son, Rusty.  With many miles under my back side, I’m reminded of the many “good talks” I had with my own children in the car.

Memories of their accomplishments during those growing up years, paled in comparison to the Some of the time spent carting them from one event to another. We shared a lot of good stuff on the way to those things. You wouldn’t expect those chauffeuring moments to create long time bonding, but it does.  Certainly many cab drivers get an earful when delivering their patrons to their destination.

Lots of good parental advice can be deled out in the car.  After all, you have a captive audience, so why not use that valuable time to solve the problems of their world.  We talked about what happened during their day, what they expected from the event we were going to, and how they were coping with things in general. Since we live in a world which revolves around getting from one place to another, those precious moments can be a boon to parenting.

Of course, if you’re faced with inclement weather, detours, accidents and other driving obstacles, you want to keep your attention on the road.  Today children are more focused on their phones or other electronic devices, but maybe as their parent, you should ask them to turn them off when in the car.  You can set the example by turning yours off as well.

Treasure the time you have with your children. Soon they will be leading their own lives and it’s good to know that they can talk to you anytime . . . even in the car. I should probably add that my “captive audience” was sometimes asleep while I was pressing on through wind and snow, but that didn’t deter my conversation.  I had to talk to keep myself awake on those early morning drives into school.

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WRITERS’ FUNNIES

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ROAD WARRIORS FINI

We recently hit the road with great intentions of seeing wonderful sights and visiting with special people.  There are also the moments you never forget.

The final leg of the journey returning home, often turns into a quest no matter how much your body is screaming for a bed.  We vowed to make a few more stops on our way home, because we looked like old people when we arrived at my sisters. By the time we reached our daughters, we probably looked like we needed a hospital bed, rather than the comfy one they provided us.  I’m not saying we’re getting old, but we are!

My husband has proven to be a true road warrior.  He loves driving – especially when the road is clear and the pace has been set.  Having the eyes of an artist, he notices things that I never see. constantly taking mental pictures for future reference, while I struggle to capture moving objects on my phone camera. Having the desire to push on, leaves little room for sightseeing, but we did manage to see a restoration of an Appalachian village.  We go stretched our weary legs, but I quickly ran out of breath, so it was back to the air conditioned vehicle and watching the beauty of the countryside as we whizzed by.

The mountains were majestic, the trees lavish and tightly knit into massive forests, the road kill was abundant.  There were dead possums, birds, porcupines, deer and thousands of dead tires which could probably be recycled into flip flops.  We witnessed a few accidents, many speeders and lots of cone storage.  I’m sure you’ve seen it.  When they have no room for those bright orange barriers, they line them up on the highway to annoy drivers..

Mr. Road Warrior was on a roll as we rolled into Kentucky.  It was still early, so he decided we could make a few more hours of driving.  When we pulled into Indiana, we realized it was Memorial Day weekend and the Indianapolis 500 would take place the next day, so finding a motel was impossible.  So we hit the road again and wound up in a town on the border into Illinois. It was next to impossible to find a room and those available were way out of our range.  We found a motel that seemed devoid of cars.  A broken down restaurant sat beside it.  In the front stood four Roman statues, beckoning visitors. The motel was encrusted with broken down plaster exterior, plastic bottles and other refuse floating through the parking lot and I expected the manager to look like Norman.

We entered the room, which had no light switches, so we groped around for a lamp. I rushed to the bathroom, to discover a toilet that was not functioning and a shower that was consistent with the Bates Motel.  After calling the manager, we were told someone would come to take a look at it.  I was sure Norman would show up with a plunger and some sharp instrument in his hand.  Eventually we were sent to another room, which proved acceptable.  At least the bed was huge and the toilet worked.

We had a wonderful vacation and we’re still talking to each other.  We’re already talking about our next trip.

 

 

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BEAUTY IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

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ART & INSPIRATION FROM PAUL & KATHY BOECHER©

Swirling shades of mauve, azure, mossy green and brilliant yellow,

Interlaced with contrasting purples, browns, deep crimson,

Knotted and gnarly,

Ridged, impenetrable, stoic,

Trees can hold secrets from centuries before,

They listen, but never respond,

They dance in the wind,

Breathe as each season carries them,

Die in the final one,

But rise to live again,

We become tangled,

Hardened,

Entrenched,

Tightly woven in the fabric of life,

Forgetting,

Who gave us breath,

We struggle,

We become weak,

We blame ourselves,

And others,

For the plight of every day,

We abandon the One who loves,

Without end,

Forgives,

Without end,

Turns death into life again,

He will hold us in all strife,

Carry when we no longer can walk,

Cuddle us in His massive wings,

When we ask Him to,

Ask.

 

 

 

 

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WRITERS’ FUNNIES

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WRITERS’ FUNNIES

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WRITERS’ FUNNIES

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ROAD WARRIORS PART DEUX

Second grandson graduated – hugs and kisses goodbye- new memories made – tears shed – love renewed.  Lord, keep us safe on our journey home.

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WRITERS’ FUNNIES

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GOD IS OUR ROCK

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We’ve been witness to God’s magnificent creation this week, as we’ve traveled from Minnesota through three states to reach South Carolina.  Both of us have been showing our age, as knees and hips ache and refuse to move as they should.  Even through this whole aging process, it’s been a wonderful time for us, after twenty years without venturing on a road trip.

Yesterday we crossed a massive expanse of lush greenery to Table Rock Mountain State Park.  As the car did all the work of climbing, we sat back and wallowed in the beauty – trees that reach to heaven, trunks covered with a veil of vining plants, trickles of sunshine pushing through the sparse empty spaces. When we reached our destination, we were greeted by a green mountain lake.  We walked a short distance and discovered a lovely falls, encased with solid, flat rock, which reminded me of the still waters referred to in Psalm 23.

The waters weren’t still.  Instead the force of the falling liquid, pounded against those rocks with great pressure and power – kind of like the pressures of every day.  When we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, it like that pounding surge.  We struggle with pain, adversity, worry, doubt and fear, yet the power of God is available in every circumstance.

When we come to the end, problems dissolve.  We come to rest in that peaceful water, no longer bruised or broken by the trials of living.  God carries us to that place.  He walks with us through all the perils of our existence and lifts us in His arms, when we cannot make it alone.  This is the good news we have as Christians.  It is too good to hang onto and hoard for ourselves.  Our world will not last forever.  The signs of its demise are everywhere, but we can rest in the knowledge that life goes on for the believer.  Share that great news with someone today.

 

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JULIE’S FRIDAY FUNNY

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ANCHORED

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ORIGINAL ART & POETRY BY PAUL & KATHY BOECHER©

Scuffed by the constant thrashing of the elements,

Battered by scars of overuse,

Holding on by a cord of the past ,

Waiting for another chance,

Clothed in dignity and strength,

On the outside,

Falling apart,

Beaten,

Corroded,

Internally,

Pushing hard to survive,

Struggling to stay afloat,

Bones cry out for relief,

Minds long for the end of the journey,

Where will it lead?

What lies ahead?

When your anchor is embedded in Jesus,

The destination is sure,

Cast your burdens on Him,

He gives all a reprieve,

Another chance,

Trust in the pilot.

To guide your journey,

And to take you home.

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LOOK TO THE SKIES

POETRY BY KATHY BOECHER©

What started as a single seed reclining in the earth,

Is now a giant masterpiece with monetary worth,

The time it took to grow this tree encompassed many years,

It suffered many bruises and witnessed many tears,

Some of its limbs were withered, while others brandished life,

Its trunk was strong as iron, yet endured all kinds of strife,

As winds defiled and bent its frame, it seemed that he was lost,

Its roots exposed, its spine now bent from cold and bitter frost,

Still it survived and grew some more and pierced right through the clouds,

Its life went on and does today, evading death’s dark shrouds,

We like that tree continue through life’s discouraging path,

We place our hope in worldly things and we receive God’s wrath,

But when we put our hope in Him our life will never end,

And it will be much greater than our minds can comprehend,

The growth that we experience throughout our earthly days,

Will never reach comparison to what His love purveys,

We lift our eyes to heaven and know what waits beyond,

To see the face of Jesus and know He will respond.

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WRITERS’ FUNNIES

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REMEMBER

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Originally posted by atimetoshare.me  5/21/2015

It may have begun somewhere in the 1970s.  We were winding down a seemingly endless war in Viet Nam.  Women fought for equal rights.  Segregation was still an issue.  We had a national scandal and saw a president impeached.  The comedians of the day were Phyllis Diller and Don Rickles who spent their monologues ragging on everyone.  Movies now had “R” ratings.  The sexual revolution was well underway.  It seemed that the days of “Father Knows Best” were over and replaced with dysfunctional families with dads like Archie Bunker.

Folks became numbed with illicit drugs.  The three martini lunch was the menu of the day to cinch a deal.  Space exploration was still in the news, but now people were becoming more concerned about the state of our own planet and focusing on ways they could control things like climate change.

Somehow the basics of religion were tossed aside in favor of self-reliance.  The Ten Commandments became outdated.  The Bible was just a book of myths and stories. In fifty years, this would lead to a nation who no longer felt the need to go to church – a population that didn’t trust government officials – a land where family was a thing of the past – a country that no longer put their trust in God.

As we approach Memorial Day, we need to get a handle on what this country was founded on – Judeo/Christian principals, strong work ethic, the sanctity of marriage and family, the opportunity for anyone to succeed.  We have truly been blessed to live here, but we cannot forget our history.  Blood was shed, lives lost and families made the ultimate sacrifice to defend the values that were set down by our forefathers.  Memorial means remembering.  Let’s never forget the price paid for our freedom.

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