MEMORY FAIL

The human mind is an amazing organ.  It can hold more information than a computer, yet as we age, the data we’ve accumulated causes it to crash and even become useless.  The one fear I have about growing old is that I will lose my memory and a whole abundance of joy because of it. This is one of the many reasons I began blogging.  In a way, it’s my life in a nutshell.  Not only am I sharing these memories with you, but I’m also storing them up for future reference.

I’ve been known to completely forget an appointment – be a day late for a party – forget to turn on the crock pot when I’m going to be gone all day.  I forget important birthdays, wedding anniversaries and sometimes I forget to kiss my husband goodbye when he leaves the house.  OK those aren’t major memory lapses, but the thought of becoming confused, befuddled and incapable of taking care of myself is a seed which has already been planted in my mind.

It first happened when I started being asked if I felt safe at home. It continued as I read articles that indicate aging includes loss of memory and feelings of confusion. A few years ago, I was teaching memory care patients the importance of keeping their minds active, by doing jumping jacks for the brain.  Now I’m having trouble touching my toes.  I’m actually having trouble finding my toes.

I think I’m still pretty much all there, but one never knows when it might happen.  It can start with forgetting a specific date and mushroom into losing an entire year.  This is why I write.  Someday, if God decides this will be my lot in life, I’ll have the latter part of it journalized.  Not that my life is more important than any other, but because those I hold dear, will know who I was and how I lived.  They might even learn from my mistakes.

Memories often define who we are and what we do.  They shape us, our personalities and beliefs.  Once they’re gone, we’ve lost a huge chunk of a life.  If you have a relative who is going through this challenge in their life, spend time with them.  You may not be able to change the outcome of their malady, but the memories they still cling to can be a treasure trove to be passed on to future generations.

Memory, all alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again.

From the musical, “CATS” by Andrew Lloyd Weber

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About atimetoshare.me

As I reach the end of my years, I find I have a lot of good information stored up in this old decrepit mind of mine. If I don't write it all down, it may vanish and no one will have the advantage of my thoughts. This is why this blog exists. I love the Lord, Jesus with all my heart and soul. I know I'm undeserving of all He's done for me, but I also know that His love is beyond my comprehension. I've always wanted to write. I never kept diaries, but tucked my thoughts in my head for future reference. I use them now in creating stories, plays, poetry and my blog. I continue to learn every day. I believe the compilation of our time spent with God will have huge affect on the way we live. I know I'm a sinner and I need a Savior. I have One through Jesus, Christ. My book, "Stages - a memoir," is about the seven stages of life from the perspective of a woman. It addresses all the things girls and women go through in life as they travel it with Jesus, and it is available on Amazon.com.
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15 Responses to MEMORY FAIL

  1. Lifetime Chicago says:

    I love writing about memories!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lifetime Chicago says:

    I have been sharing many of your articles on Facebook.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Citizen Tom says:

    What is scarier than forgetting? That is remembering things that didn’t happen.
    https://www.dictionary.com/browse/confabulate

    That can happen as we get older too.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I read this post yesterday, and had too much going on at the time to comment. So I saved it on my tablet to come back to later.

    Yes, I agree with you. The scariest part of aging is the possibility of losing my memory. I am at a particularly high risk of developing Alzheimer’s Dementia, for three reasons. One: I have been knocked unconscious four times in my life. Multiple head injuries are known to increase the development of dementia. Two: my mother has severe dementia, as did her late sister. When a female has a history of dementia on the maternal side of her family, this is known to greatly increase her chance of getting dementia. Three: my blood type, AB negative, is the rarest of all the blood types. Having AB negative blood also increases the risk of Alzheimer’s by 80%, according to a study that I read about online. None of the other blood types come close.

    When I was in the fourth grade, all of the students were given an IQ test. Although we were not given our results, my teacher told me that I had the highest IQ in the entire school. When I was 27 years old, I took a proctored Mensa test. My IQ score was at that time was 156, just 4 points below Einstein’s. But now that I am a great-grandmother, I do not want to take another IQ test. Although I don’t think that dementia has set in, I can tell that I am not as mentally sharp as I used to be.

    These lines from a poem that I wrote more than 40 years ago, express how I feel about the possibility of losing my memory. I was sick with pleurisy and writing about death, back then. But today, the thought of losing my memory is much more terrifying than death.

    Lord, all is lost if I lose me
    Is all of life mere vanity?
    As a child, I cried because my dog had died
    I am crying now for me.

    The good news is, I can still remember all of the words to that poem, four decades later! The even better news: my life belongs to the Lord Jesus Christ. I mean it when I pray: Not my will, but Thine be done. Amen!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oops, I should have proofread before I posted that. I just noticed a typo. Duh. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Kathy, thanks for sharing this thoughtful post. When I began writing after retiring from teaching, I thought I would check it out. I am thankful now because I found a blessed exercise for keeping my mind active.

    Liked by 1 person

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