As I unpacked those treasured ornaments from the past 53 years of marriage, memories began to pour into my head. There were the handmade pieces; the delicate globes decorated with the names of each in our family; the store bought ones which have seen better days; the bright and shiny newer ones. Each one of them has a special meaning. One survivor is a hillbillie, white bearded, red nosed, guitar playing fellow referred to as “Crambone”. The name bestowed when he entered our home.
All the time consumed on the handmade ones, reminded me of a story which unfolded when our youngest daughter was about 8. She’d brought home an art project to finish for the next day. It was made of bread dough and when it dried completely, she was able to paint it. She was very proud of her work. She put extra effort into making it just perfect. Everyone turned in for the night and the little sculpture sat unconcerned on the kitchen counter.
It was one of those nights when I semi-woke up and wandered aimlessly into the kitchen. I wasn’t fully conscious. This wasn’t unusual since I was often found sleep walking. The house was dark. There wasn’t a sound to be heard except the growling coming from my stomach. Even though I was in a dream state, I felt the pangs of hunger.
My hands reached out in the darkness and landed on the dog art. Slowly I lifted the innocent victim to my lips. I opened my mouth and my eyes. It looked like dark chocolate, but it didn’t smell like it. It didn’t smell like anything. My pearly whites wrapped themselves around the morsel and bit down.
It was one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever tasted. I immediately woke up, spit the tidbit into the garbage, rinsed my mouth out with water and went back to bed.
The next morning I was sharply awakened by screams coming from my youngest child. I ran to see what happened and there she was with the decapitated dog in her hand. I had a hard time explaining the truth to my family and to her teacher that I had eaten her homework, but looking back, it was one of those funny things I was talking about.
This event took place about 35 years ago. But we still laugh about it. Finding humor in unlikely situations can make you look like a real idiot or it can help you keep your sanity.