Maybe it’s something to do with my past or my fear of failure that’s driven me to be a worrier. Maybe it’s something common only to women – especially when they become mothers. Maybe it’s a combination of both these things. Women seem to have an inborn sense which urges them to worry. Deep down inside of us, we know that things will work out, but something in there also tells us it’s our job to worry.
When a woman becomes a mother, her entire perspective changes. As a natural nurturer, she feels a responsibility to the life that’s lived within her for nine months. She feels an obligation to continue to care for the needs of that new life and is duty-bound to raise an upstanding human being. No one births a child thinking that he/she will become a career criminal.
Having a baby is like getting a second chance at doing your own life over – by eliminating the mistakes you made, setting the right goals, setting rules and guidelines which will instill honesty, integrity and ethical behavior. That in itself gives us cause to worry, because we can’t live through our children successfully. We can only give them tools to enhance their lives. They’re the ones who make the decisions on how to use them. Still, as a mother, worry becomes a genuine part of your vocabulary.
Will I be able to give this child enough? Will I be able to give him what he needs? Will his educational needs be met? Will he be healthy? Will he fit in? Will he be able to handle himself if bullied. Will he use your advice or follow his own will? These are just a few of the questions a mom asks herself. Talk about being a worry wart!
If she has a husband that’s actively involved in the raising of the child, she has a supporter who will assist, but if she is a single parent, she’ll rely on others for advice or go it alone. If she’s a mom that’s the sole support of this new life, she’ll have to make huge sacrifices to work at a real job and still uphold her duties as a mother. Whatever the case, moms have many things to fret over. Even with a dad in the picture, men prefer to be concerned rather than worried, but they worry too.
When it’s time for them to leave the nest, we still worry. Will they make enough to support themselves? Will they make mature decisions? Will they be wise in their dealings and choices? If they fail, are you willing to take them back into your home?
I could write a litany of the things we women worry about, but it would take too long. Instead let’s look at what God has to say about it.
“THE LORD IS NEAR TO THE BROKENHEARTED AND SAVES THE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT.” PSALM 34:18
“ANXIETY IN A MAN’S HEART WEIGHS HIM DOWN, BUT A GOOD WORD MAKES HIM GLAD.” PROVERBS 12:25
“AND WHICH OF YOU BY BEING ANXIOUS CAN ADD A SINGLE HOUR TO HIS SPAN OF LIFE?” MATTHEW 6:27
Inner feelings of anxiety, fear and worry are very human characteristics, which left to grow and fester can consume you. You start reading untruth into things that you are unsure of. You second guess everything. You fear failing as a parent and more importantly as a member of the human race.
Every child a mother carries, must be loved unconditionally even when the kid isn’t very loveable. The job description does include worry/concern for that child, but we have a partner in the process if we remind ourselves that this child is a gift from God. He belongs to Him. Together, this partnership will make the worries dissipate. It won’t make them disappear, but it will give you the strength you need to deal with