I’ve come to the conclusion that part of God’s wrath came down specifically on women in the form of hormonal imbalance.  There are some changes as men age, but women get the brunt of it.

In the teen years, our estrogen has begun to work overtime.  Bodies are developing.  We’re prone to mood swings, acne, weight gain or loss, hair in unwanted places, overactive sweat glands, not wanting to give up childhood and a plethora of new and unknown feelings.  We’re expected to become women overnight when we’d much rather play with Barbies or Legos.

Pregnancy is another time of change.  The body becomes swollen. You often lose recognition of your feet, because the bump in your middle has obliterated them.  When you do get a look at them, they also have grown to twice their original size.  You go through times of nausea, panic, worry and wonder why you ever agreed to this.  You struggle for nine months to learn new ways to pick things up off the floor, walk and embrace your spouse.  Your back aches, your feet hurt, your bloated and uncomfortable.  At least at the end of it, you have something wonderful to show for it.

When we go through menopause, we undergo many changes as well. We become irritated by things we have no control over. We don’t have periods anymore – which is really a blessing in my opinion.  We experience hot flashes and would find great solace sitting inside the freezer on a hot summer day.  Our hair thins, arms become flabby.  Skin loses its elasticity.  Intimacy now means “I’d rather be by myself.”

When we enter old age, there are more things to look forward to.  Teeth have now been replaced with dentures.  Hearing and other senses fail.  You are prone to memory lapses, especially when you move from one room to the other.  Your hands are now arthritic and you never know when one or two fingers are going to cramp up.  Your eyesight dims.  Your hair loss continues.  You have countless ailments and often wonder why God doesn’t simply call you home.

Being a woman is overrated.

Of course men have their share of issues as well, but they seem to muddle through, enough to tease us about our erratic internal thermostat.  They seem to find it funny.  There’s nothing funny about suddenly feeling like you have entered the gates of hell.  Thanks a lot, Adam and Eve.  How different it would’ve been if you had just obeyed one simple rule.