ORIGINALLY POSTED ON ATIMETOSHARE.ME 3/28/14

Spring has sprung. Birds are again singing their little hearts out. The squirrels are very active and I’m reminded of a time about 40 years ago when one particular squirrel was raiding the bird feeder and seed was flying all over the place.

I patiently resupplied the feeder for about three or four days, but there is just so much one person can take before they lose it completely. I don’t consider myself a violent person. I’ve never intentionally hurt anyone or thing in my life, but something snapped in me, turning me into one fierce, fighting force impossible to control.

I knew my husband had a pellet gun, so I made it my quest to find it and merely put the wrath of Kathy into that furry little creature. I had no intention of actually doing harm to it.

The next day came and I was determined. The pellet gun rested on the kitchen table at the ready, the bird feeder filled to overflowing. There he was. He wrapped his four scrawny legs around the pole and scooted to the feast that waited at the top.

I admired his coordination. He could have made a fortune as a performer in the circus. All he needed was a pair of extra small tights and a little tutu. He maneuvered his way around the periphery – nibbling and gobbling every last seed he could get his mitts on.

I slowly opened the patio door. He did not hear a thing. He was far too busy gorging himself to notice anything. His eyes were glazed as he feasted on every last morsel. I took aim, pumped the gun, pulled the trigger, caught my finger in the pumping mechanism causing myself extreme pain, and fired.

It took only a fraction of a second. He reeled. He grabbed his chest and spun around. He then did a perfect swan dive off the bird feeder and fell to the ground below. It was a most dramatic death.

I immediately felt a knot in my stomach. My knees were shaking. I felt complete remorse for my actions, but it only took a moment for my grief to turn to joy as the gutsy rodent pulled himself together and dragged his poor, stunned body into the woods.

I overcame my feelings of guilt knowing that my original plan to simply scare him had worked. That night as I lay in my bed, the thoughts of the day came back to haunt me. As my sleep took me into dream land, I envisioned myself sitting on top of that bird feeder. My hands and feet were bound. There, at the base of the pole, were several squirrels circling with their beady eyes focused on me. In their paws each held a little pellet gun and they were aimed at me!

I woke in a cold sweat. I ran to the window to see if it was real or a dream and there they were. A whole slew of squirrels were helping themselves to breakfast.