It’s throwback Thursday and time for one of my older posts. This is from April 2020 and the effects of aging have moved from my face to my entire body. Thus I have become prunified. Phyllis Diller once said, “You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.” It’s true! My body is finally catching up with my face. It’s amazing what five years can do to you in the looks department.

There are so many commercials for products which promise to reduce or removed wrinkles and signs of aging. Have you ever noticed that all the models in said ads are probably 14 years old? For once, I’d love to see real people (70+) using these products and getting the same promised results. There are countless potions, not to mention special kinds of tape to pull the skin up and look younger. I tried it once with duct tape but found it a little inconvenient when I tried to comb my hair. When I was a teenager, I read that hot baby oil would give me radiant skin, so I boiled some and almost set the kitchen on fire. I didn’t actually. Just created a nice black mark on the wall behind the stove.

I was an early wrinkler. In fact, I come from a long line of wrinkled women. One of the reasons for those deeply imbedded lines has to do with being part of a family of laughers. Crow’s feet and laugh lines made their appearance when I was in my thirties. The deeper forehead lines and what I like to call “marionette lines” (which go from each corner of the nose to each corner of the mouth) came with children. If you’re really lucky, they extend down to create a line from the edge of the mouth to the chin. You actually look like someone must be standing above you, ready to operate the strings which get your mouth moving.

With each year came a new wrinkle. Each decade filled with laughter, serious issues and sadness created new ones. Weather contributed to the situation. The change of seasons brought the heat of summer and the cold of winter. In the summer I would lather up with sun tan oil and lay in the sun for hours. In the winter, the heat would turn on inside and dry out every skin cell. Winter also brough freezing temps outside which meant possible frostbite or just plain dry skin.

I was slowly drying out, like a plum turning into a prune or a grape becoming a raisin. The skin on my elbows and feet now resemble a rhinoceros. My limbs are flakey and shriveled. My neck resembles a large turkey, and the advertisements are now calling it crepey skin. I suppose because it has the consistency of crepe paper. In the past few months, I’ve had a few zits pop up on my face. What’s that all about? Am I advancing into adolescent old age? Liver spots are another thing altogether.

There is very little hair on my legs. I only have five of my original teeth. My hair is thick, but it seems like a handful gets combed out each day. My bones are brittle. My strength is waning; my memory is failing along with my hearing and there are days I’d rather stay in bed.

The idea of one day having a new body, without infirmities and one that is perfect in every way, is becoming more and more appealing to me. See! There is actually something to look forward to when you grow old. You are that much closer to heaven. There’s always a bright side, even when it comes to aging.