We grew up together. We explored life together. We raised a family. We loved each other. We grew up some more. We got lost in each other’s arms. We made mistakes. We danced and held hands. We supported each other’s decisions. We prayed together. We grew up some more. We went through loss – trials, and successes together. We laughed and cried when it was called for. We grew old together. We will reach heaven and we will continue through eternity – together.

Cancer is an ugly word, that can work its way into your daily vocabulary in a matter of seconds. It’s a word we try to avoid saying. It’s something no one wants to deal with. It can break relationships, seal them, cause them to infect every aspect of everything you experience in life. Each day of last week was a blessing. When the sun rose each morning, the man I love was there beside me. Still breathing. Sleeping peacefully. As I watched his chest go up and down with each breath, I thanked God for another day for us – together. Ours is just another love story filled with amazing joy, sadness, frustrations, rebuilding, stressing out, disagreeing, giving in, compromise, patience and God at the center.

• Sunday we went to church – a habit that we are happy to be back into. This is our only clue to what day of the week it actually is, but it is also a time to connect with friends, to pray for answers, to thank God for His blessings – all of which are desperately needed right now. Both of us felt somewhat overwhelmed from the previous week, but we weren’t broken. Life still is available to us. Our prayers are going to be answered and many of them already have been. We’re using this time to share with each other.
• Monday – no appointments, so we decided to take a little road trip. These short getaways are just what the doctor ordered for. They allow us time together. It gives us time away from all the noise of construction in our neighborhood. We get to see some beautiful areas within a short distance from our home. Paul’s happy place has always been in nature and the outdoors. Most of his paintings are produced from memories of them. I love looking at the majesty of God’s creation and the lines upon lines of forests, filled with staunch pine trees, like an army of soldiers in perfect formation.
• Tuesday was another free day, but we slept a little longer than usual and didn’t get much done in the morning. A friend from our past called to talk to Paul and it was like a light going off in his face when he realized who it was. A blast from the past, renewed his smile and brought back some wonderful memories. A good friend of mine also called and she and I had lunch. We talked about our husbands. Hers had passed away a few years ago. We talked about life and death – we laughed – we shed a few tears and we ate a lot. In times of overwhelming information, sadness, fear of the future it’s just good to escape to another place. We’ve never denied each other from doing things that we enjoy doing apart from each other. I believe that has solidified our marriage in a very special way.
• Wednesday brought another road trip after a lot of frustration with technology, setting new appointments and getting “scram” calls. Paul has always professed to being an 1800s guy and is averse to anything computer oriented. Because of that, I decided to have his health information sent to me rather than him. That way I could monitor things for him and save him the anxiety. Little things like that seem so important right now. Our little journey this day took us to Taylor’s Falls on the border between Wisconsin and Minnesota. The bluffs are always breathtaking. The falls and the river are equally beautiful, but in a car it’s quite difficult to capture those hidden spots. Not to mention, as you drive along it’s difficult to get a picture that doesn’t move along with the car. It was a lovely diversion. We returned home to find a survey from our insurance company regarding gender identity. The numbers astounded me. The world is changing so much. It makes us long for heaven in these difficult times. Just another chink in the armor, I guess.
• Thursday was grocery shopping day for me. This is becoming less and less fun, yet I don’t want to order online. I like to feel the tomatoes and squeeze the melon. I enjoy choosing my own meat from the butcher and selecting bakery items that we especially like. With that being said, I still bag my own groceries and load them in and out of the car. My legs were yelling obscenities at me when I finally completed the dastardly deed. The afternoon was spent at the funeral of a dear lady of 95 who was a member of our church. A funeral for those of us who know death holds no sting, is more like a victory celebration, because we know what’s on the other side.
• Friday – Much needed rain finally fell this past +week. The garden flowers are getting close to their peak. I marvel at how they survive in times of drought or too much water. God is always caring for His creatures as well as His creation. If we had more patience, we’d see that He is always faithful. Since it was an uneven day, I was able to give them an additional drink, but God’s water is so much more refreshing for everything. Our son came over and spend the afternoon simply visiting. This is really important for us right now. Our family has always been close. We miss these times of one-on-one with them. Just sharing our thoughts, our prayers, our simple goals for each day, our love, our partnership, our lives, gives us strength – even when we feel helpless or hopeless. We are blessed to have each other to lean on as well as our God, who changes not. I thank God that He has given us each other to lean on as well.
• Saturday – Today we will share another fun day with close friends. We are truly blessed.

Next week is going to be crazy with appointments. Is this how we will spend the days allotted to us? Trying to find a balance is difficult, because the appointments are important in Paul’s decision making regarding his health care. Balance does come, however. We will be sharing time with that old friend and his wife that surprised Paul with a phone call. We will attend the 60th anniversary celebration with another couple we’ve known for years. A Pet Scan is scheduled for July 31st, which should give even more information to absorb.