I’ve decided to keep track of some of the lessons we’re learning as we enter this challenging part of our life’s journey together. Some of you may get tired of hearing our story. Some may learn along with us. Some might even benefit. God has a plan for each of us. He wrote the blueprint before we ever came into being. He knew the number of our days. He knew who we’d fall in love with, how many children we’d have, how relationships would be formed, how challenges would crush us at times, but through it all, He also knew that we are His children, and He loves us with an unconditional love. I plan to list some of the highlights and lowlights of this expedition and some of the emotions that surface as we walk through them. Bear with me. I’m still in the learning process myself.

For the past two years, my husband Paul has been undergoing serious health issues. One thing leads to another and eventually his last hospital visit revealed several things. He had a small stroke. He has an aneurysm. He has a heart valve that needs replacing. He was anemic and needed three transfusions of blood. He is also dealing with scar tissue from treatment of prostate cancer twelve years ago. In a cat scan of his upper body, a mass was found in his chest. The mass was biopsied two weeks ago and found to be cancer. Last week felt like a barrage of new information, unwanted diagnoses and confusion, tears and prayers.

• Sunday – We went to church to give thanks, praise and honor our God. Some of the hymns we sang brought a tear or two to my eyes. The message was uplifting and showed the importance of our knowing both the law and Gospel of God. We were joined in fellowship with other believers, who hugged us, listened to us and cried with us. Having a good support system is vital in these situations. Took some photos of my garden. Trying to find beauty in the chaos.
• Monday – I spent the morning rehearsing with my Jewels of deNial for a performance we had scheduled for Wednesday evening. Time was filled with laughter and some tears. Again, another wonderful support group that keeps me laughing.
• Tuesday – We spent close to two hours at the oncologist’s office. The first hour was spent filling out forms. These were so repetitive and frustrating for Paul to do alone, so we finally found a system that allowed me to ask and write down the answers while he gave them to me. When we finally got in to see the doctor – who is amazing btw – we were already worn out. She explained all the potential options for treatment of this new cancer. She was very thorough, understanding and compassionate. I couldn’t hear everything she said, because of my hearing issues. My cane kept falling down as we sat there. Paul immediately bonded with her because she’s from Germany. His German heritage is from the same area of the world. By the time we left her office and went back out to finish the forms, both of us were mentally exhausted. I felt more confused than before we met.
• Wednesday – An appointment was set for Paul to get a Dexa scan. We had to travel to another town to get it. We got slightly diverted, but it turned out to be a lovely drive through some forested areas. The scan took about fifteen minutes, but the trip there and back took almost two hours. During these drives we’re discovering more and more about each other. We’ve been married almost 59 years, but I keep learning new things about this man that I love with all my heart. In the evening, I performed along with my Jewels for a huge crowd. They laughed a lot and it made me happy to make them smile.
• Thursday – Met with Genetic counselor. This was all new to us as well. It is designed to give you and your family some information for their own health records. In other words it’s basically checking your DNA and determining possible illnesses that could be hereditary. What I learned from that experience is that we know how old our ancestors were when they died, but we certainly didn’t know much about what caused their death. I do know that in my grandparents lifetime, diseases carried a certain stigma and they never wanted to reveal them. The whole process could also affect future generations from getting life insurance, because of their hereditary markers. So that we decided against doing that.
• Friday – Our heads were swimming with new information – old information and information overload, so we decided it was time for another road trip. Our car is getting lots of use lately. Our time together in that car is precious. We’re sharing our feelings, but I’m praying that the right decisions will be made. When someone has so many things wrong with them, the health care becomes very complicated.
• Saturday – Today, I’ve been up since five o’clock. I slept well. the skies are again filled with Canadian smoke. Not sure what today will bring, but I’m confident that God is with us.