There was a day when I wondered what my lot in life would be. I’ve often dreamed dreams which could be interpreted as bizarre, frightening and downright dark. There have been other dreams too. The ones that show a world clean of all blackness, filled with light and perfection. Of course the dark might be appealing to some, but for me, I chose to go the other way.
As years passed and I became more knowledgeable and less accepting, I learned to choose my words carefully, but that wasn’t always the right thing to do. Words and actions must be simultaneous. If we say one thing and do another, we’re in conflict with ourselves and our opinions don’t hold much water.
Each life experience is a tool for our learning and for building who we will eventually become. If our path takes us down the dark road, we undoubtedly will meet a great number of folks taking the same path. Maybe the other road isn’t quite as full, but it can lead us to an eventual paradise.
I consider myself a number of personalities. I’m a woman. I’m a daughter, mother, wife. I’ve used my life to teach, to entertain, to bring encouragement to others, but I have a dark side. I’m a sinner. This sin was born within me on the day of my conception. I grew up believing that there was no hope for me. I was doomed for hell and nothing I could do would ever change that.
Fortunately, I had a solid base. Most of my ancestors were Christians. They attended church regularly. They followed the rules. They lived life and accomplished what was necessary to provide for their families, but none ever achieved greatness from the world’s perspective. That wasn’t the primary goal of their lives. For most of them, it was simply surviving and being sure of life after death in paradise.
I know that there are some skeletons in my closet and often fear to examine too closely. However, open the door we must. We must look deep inside and then be held accountable by our judge, God. This is where it gets tough. We don’t like being judged. We don’t want to fear for our lives. We don’t want our secrets disclosed, so we hide.
But our God is patient. He waits for us to realize our mistakes and come to Him in repentance. He is compassionate, because through His Son, Jesus, He became man and lived among us. He knows all our sorrows and has felt the pain we endure. He’s also a forgiving Father. Like the prodigal’s dad, he welcomes us home with open arms when we come back to Him.
Who am I? I’m me – a forgiven child of God.