For the past week and a few days, I’ve been sharing most of my time with my dog, Gage. Each of us handles our loneliness in different ways. He becomes depressed and doesn’t eat when the master is gone. I, on the other hand, have gone off my diet and consumed great quantities. It’s a good thing the loneliness will end soon.
When I’m by myself, I tend to do a lot of internalizing. I talk to myself, when I don’t talk to Gage. I talk to God a lot, because I seem to forget to do that enough when I’m busy. I think about things I should be doing to prepare for the holidays – money to be spent, when there isn’t much – putting up decorations, etc. Busy work which will occupy the hours and keep me from feeling lonely. It is a time of contemplation and regrouping – a time that is good for each of us.
There truly are benefits to being alone. You have complete control of the remote. You can eat whatever and whenever you feel the need to. You can wear your PJs and no makeup all day if you like. You can get some of those tasks done that often interrupt of invade another’s space. You can do some deep cleaning, paint a wall, find a project.
But there is nothing like having conversations – actual face to face connection with those you love. This past week has included some of that, but when I come home, its to a lonely, empty space, devoid of another human being.
When it comes right down to it, I don’t like being alone. I start to think what it would be like to be completely alone. I start to imagine my life without my spouse and family, my church family and theatre community. The thought of loss creeps into my thinking. It turns quickly to depression and that’s when I need to talk to God.
God is always with us, even when we’re alone. Think of these times as an opportunity to reconnect with the One who created you – the One who shaped your life and has it all mapped out for you – the One who has assured you of a future in eternity with a perfect body and life.
When my husband returns, there will be lots of talks about the hunt, the guys and their conversations, his connection to that place which draws him each year. The silence of my aloneness will end. Joy will fill my heart again and I will be glad for his company. The stillness of alone time is good for a while, but it soon becomes old. We need each other.
There is a time for all things, as Solomon so wisely states. Each moment has a purpose to it. Everything is in God’s hands and He is the director who pulls it all together. Trust in His plans for your life, and embrace the together times with as much gusto as the alone times.