STICKS & STONES

2e1765e54694319c46431bc5a78f70c7--churchill-quotes-winston-churchill

School is back in session.  Along with the fears attached to the commonplace incidents of violence in these halls of learning, our children are facing another kind of hate – the bully.  Children need to be prepared to defend themselves against the ugly words of others – the demeaning humiliation that accompanies those words – and the feelings of uselessness which sometimes lead to suicide.  More often than not, there is no defense.

Cyber bullying puts hateful words  right out there for the entire world to see.  Today, unless children are confident with who they are, are being tested on a daily basis.  Some kids can let bullying slide off their backs, but those words have become engrained in that child’s mind and heart.

Workplace bullying is a continuation of that learning – only now it’s being done by “grown ups.”  Once as my husband prepared for an after school art class in his designated, space a group of teachers came in and began posting “anti-bullying” signs.  One by one, the women called my husband out for being in “their” space.  It was ironic that they were doing the same kind of bullying they were trying to prevent.  Another example can be gossiping about another employee or trashing their abilities.

Many say that the bully is just reaching out for attention.  I believe that’s true, but  children also need to be taught to be good or bad.  They don’t come out of the womb knowing the difference.  Their thinking is based on what they see within the confines of their home.  It changes when they begin to socialize and see what others do.  Becoming a bully is a process learned in the environment, through socialization and is the result of those who teach them.  They learn by example.

Before they reach school age, they should be prepared to deal with this situation. They should be taught that every human being is unique and that each one of them has value.  They also need to learn that they have your support along with God’s intervention in every situation – even the ones that break them.  They should respect others even when they are being disrespectful.

One of the hardest concepts we learn as a Christians, is that we don’t fight back when others try to hurt or defame us.  God tells us to let Him be in charge of dealing out vengeance.  He also says we should love our enemies and do good to them that hate us.  Our natural response to someone who is bullying is to fight back – to defend ourselves – to do something equally mean in return.

In the few short years, prior to entering school, parents can determine how their children handle bullying.  During that time, a child’s future is being determined.  What they’re taught, will be challenged when they get outside your home.  They need the armor of God, when they’re under our protection and as they enter the world of bullies.

“Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.”  Matthew 5:11

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”  Ephesians 4:29

 

Advertisements

About atimetoshare.me

As I reach the end of my years, I find I have a lot of good information stored up in this old decrepit mind of mine. If I don't write it all down, it may vanish and no one will have the advantage of my thoughts. This is why this blog exists. I love the Lord, Jesus with all my heart and soul. I know I'm undeserving of all He's done for me, but I also know that His love is beyond my comprehension. I've always wanted to write. I never kept diaries, but tucked my thoughts in my head for future reference. I use them now in creating stories, plays, poetry and my blog. I continue to learn every day. I believe the compilation of our time spent with God will have huge affect on the way we live. I know I'm a sinner and I need a Savior. I have One through Jesus, Christ. My book, "Stages - a memoir," is about the seven stages of life from the perspective of a woman. It addresses all the things girls and women go through in life as they travel it with Jesus, and it is available on Amazon.com.
This entry was posted in Bullying, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to STICKS & STONES

  1. hatrack4 says:

    I was friends with a former NFL player, turned preacher. He said that the turning of the other cheek was to not be goaded into an unnecessary fight. The slapping of the cheek was the forerunner of the glove in the face, a duel, according to him. As the preacher said, don’t start the fight, but if the fight is not unavoidable, be willing to finish the fight. So, when our older son was being bullied, my preacher friend came over and taught him some defensive moves to protect himself and taught him sequences of exercise using free weights to build up his upper body strength. Then in the summer our son studied Jujitsu (I think). He was still small for his age, but the bullies left him alone the next school year. Maybe it was the confidence that told the bullies to back off. Of course, cyber bullying is done by the weakest of our society, weak in character, honor, etc. They hide on the web behind fake names.

    Liked by 1 person

    • atimetoshare.me says:

      Thanks for your thoughts on this subject. Meanness is a learned emotion. There’s always a
      Story behind the bully. When we were kids the cyber bullying wasn’t even a term. You are so right about the bully being weak and cowardly. Many of them have victims of bullying. We need to teach our kids to be strong and courageous so they can let this stuff roll off their backs. It’s so much harder today because of social media.

      Liked by 1 person

      • hatrack4 says:

        Agreed. I would add confident to the strong and courageous, but they go hand in hand. And as for social media, once the firestorm starts, it becomes global instead of confined to the playground.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Bullying and cyber bullying are a terrible problem! I love the Churchill quote, though. That’s perfect advice. The best thing to do is ignore bullies whenever possible. Excellent post, dear Kathy!! ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • atimetoshare.me says:

      It is sooo hard for kids, but it might mean taking devices away from them. Just give them a phone without all the extras. Also allow limited time in computers, unless for homework.

      Like

  3. Wally Fry says:

    I remember in Middle School my son was being bullied without mercy. He was pretty standoffish and unfortunately could come across as thinking he was smarter than most. So, he was not without fault, but mostly he just wanted to be to himself, so he was not harming a soul. The school was doing NOTHING, and teachers were watching it happen. I went to visit the principal, and she spouted a lot of fancy theoretical mumbo-jumbo at me. I was pretty quick to let her know that the solution was actually pretty easy. Some grown-up teacher just had to grab some child and simply say, “Stop this right now, or there will be a consequence.” Even then she balked. So, I had to make clear that if it continued, that I would certainly show up on some kid’s front porch and have the conversation directly with a parent, and the end result of that would not be good. (I have been known to be a bit volatile about defending my family,) and made it clear that she would be responsible for the ensuing mayhem. Oddly, it all stopped soon after that. Go figure. Turn the other cheek clearly dictates that we no seek vengeance on those who have wronged us, but I read nothing that indicates it requires us to stand around and watch others who are weak be harmed by those stronger than them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • atimetoshare.me says:

      Wow what a story. Unfortunately education officials hands are often tied as far as discipline is concerned. Common sense should tell then to intercede.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s