ART & POETRY BY PAUL & KATHY BOECHER

The second step in the grieving process is anger. Anger is an almost uncontrollable emotion. It can eat away at our very souls and destroy us if we let it. Most of the time it will cause us to become anxious or depressed. Maybe this step is the hardest one for me. I haven’t really experienced it yet. Yes, I am angry that Paul isn’t here to help me through some difficult decisions. I’m angry that I wasn’t the first to find peace in heaven. I’m angry that my husband will not be here to see his grandchildren marry and have children. I’m angry that he isn’t here to make me laugh when I want to cry – encourage me when I feel I’ve failed – inspire me to do the best I can. He was my soulmate. I loved him with all my heart. It might not seem fair. I may want to blame someone. I could even believe that God is testing me again. I guess I have experienced it. Like I said yesterday, each one of us will go through this grieving process in a different way and even on a different time line.

In the watercolor painting today, we see three bison on the edge of the cliff. They look down and see the end of their lives awaiting them. A whole herd of bison are running behind them, there is nowhere else to go. Maybe this is the anger we experience when someone we love dies. It may seem that life will end for us soon. It may be that the weight of the world will finally be conquered. Instead of anger, I think what I’ve experienced is frustration. Yet, even in those darker days of resentment and anxiety, there is the assurance that we are not alone.

Through the darkness and the shadows, God is with me all the way,

Even when the road is cluttered, with the cares of every day,

When I’m lonely or downhearted, fears surround on every side,

When the path is filled with danger, He will always be my guide.

The world attacks and arrows pierce, death will overtake and win

Still the breath of life will conquer, Jesus washed away my sin,

Here on earth there will be trouble, but in heaven no more fear,

Still He watches and protects me, grace He adds to every year.

Every day is such a blessing, when we walk with God’s own Son,

He brought peace to all the living, and in death our souls are won,

Thank you, Jesus for your passion, for your grace and love so true,

The gates of heaven now open, when we just believe in You.