I am amazed by people who get up early in the morning, do a load of wash or two, make lunches for their kids, plan supper, go out for a quick run, take a shower, get their kids up and off to school, put in a full day at work; and then come home to make supper, help kids with homework, pay the bills, watch a little TV and finally have a few hours of sleep so they can go through the whole process all over again the next day. I guess I used to do those things at one time. I’ve forgotten.

Even though I’m supposed to be retired, my time seems to get used up before my body and mind have a minute to catch up with them. This has been business as usual at our house lately. We’ve devoted a great portion of our time to filling every minute with each other. It seems that an inoperable Cancer diagnosis can do that to you. Since deciding to forego any further treatment, we’ve been putting our time to good use. Even then – trying to fill every moment can become tiresome and might become a burden in itself. We still need time to rest. We try to hang on to the controls of our lives even when our existence is loaded with worry, trouble, depression, pain and anxiety. It should be so easy to let it all go and depend on God’s promise to carry those things for us. Somehow, even that can become a struggle.

I am learning to “let go” daily. It’s a lesson that comes very hard. I try to place my worries in God’s hands but feel like I should still be involved in the process. Today, I slept in. I felt guilty about it. I will get over the feeling of guilt, but when will I learn to turn over the burden to Jesus, who promises to take it on His own back?

When we are so tired from hard work; when our bodies just can’t function anymore; when life seems to be closing in on us there is only one place to go and I’m not talking about a spa or a vacation. Jesus told his followers in Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Lord, I need your loving arms to caress me each day and give me the strength to do the work I need to do. Thank you for your invitation to come to you even when I’m tired. Help me to rely on your promise and let go of the things that are unimportant. Amen!