WHEN IRISH EYES ARE LAUGHING

Since I’m about a fifth Irish, I decided to post a few good Irish jokes for this special day.

  • ‘I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
  • O’Gara was arrested and sent for trial for armed bank robbery.
    After due deliberation, the jury foreman stood up and announced, ‘Not guilty.’
    ‘That’s grand,’ shouted O’Gara, ‘Does that mean I get to keep the money?
  • ‘Reilly is walking through a graveyard when he comes across a headstone with the inscription “Here lies a politician and an honest man.” ‘Faith now,’ exclaims Reilly, ‘I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave.
  • ‘Hello, Mary, how’s your new false teeth?’ asked Bridget. ‘I’m leaving them out till I get used to them!’ said Mary.
  • An American lawyer inquired, ‘Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?’
    ‘Who told you that?’ asked Paddy.
  • An Irish lass, a customer: ‘Could I be trying on that dress in the window?’
    Shopkeeper: ‘I’d prefer that you use the dressing room.’
  •  Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, ‘Is that you I hear spittin’ in the vase on the mantel piece?’
    ‘No,’ said himself, ‘but I’m gettin’ closer all the time.’

‘O’Halloran,’ asked the pharmacist, ‘did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife’s appearance?’
‘It did surely,’ replied O’Halloran, ‘but it keeps fallin’ off.’

HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY!

About atimetoshare.me

As I reach the end of my years, I find I have a lot of good information stored up in this old decrepit mind of mine. If I don't write it all down, it may vanish and no one will have the advantage of my thoughts. This is why this blog exists. I love the Lord, Jesus with all my heart and soul. I know I'm undeserving of all He's done for me, but I also know that His love is beyond my comprehension. I've always wanted to write. I never kept diaries, but tucked my thoughts in my head for future reference. I use them now in creating stories, plays, poetry and my blog. I continue to learn every day. I believe the compilation of our time spent with God will have huge affect on the way we live. I know I'm a sinner and I need a Savior. I have One through Jesus, Christ. My book, "Stages - a memoir," is about the seven stages of life from the perspective of a woman. It addresses all the things girls and women go through in life as they travel it with Jesus, and it is available on Amazon.com.
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9 Responses to WHEN IRISH EYES ARE LAUGHING

  1. Ha ha ha! That mud pack falling off made me laugh.

    I’m about 24% Irish, according to my Ancestry DNA test. But with my green eyes and zillions of freckles, I look 100% Irish. A few years ago, I designed a custom t-shirt. It’s a white shirt with a big green shamrock on the front. Above the shamrock are the words: Yes, I Am Irish. Below the shamrock it says: No, You May Not Kiss Me. ūüėÄ

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Myrna Migala says:

    Have a joyful St. Patrick Day!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m Also a wee bit Irish myself. I love this day for witnessing as many like to play jokes on people and drink up a storm instead I redeem the evil day by mentioning the prayer of Saint Patrick. It’s powerful:

    I arise today ‚Ä®Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,‚Ä®Through belief in the Threeness,‚Ä®Through confession of the Oneness‚Ä®of the Creator of creation.‚Ä®I arise today‚Ä®Through the strength of Christ’s birth with His baptism,‚Ä®Through the strength of His crucifixion with His burial,‚Ä®Through the strength of His resurrection with His ascension,‚Ä®Through the strength of His descent for the judgment of doom.‚Ä®I arise today‚Ä®Through the strength of the love of cherubim,‚Ä®In the obedience of angels,‚Ä®In the service of archangels,‚Ä®In the hope of resurrection to meet with reward,‚Ä®In the prayers of patriarchs,‚Ä®In the predictions of prophets,‚Ä®In the preaching of apostles,‚Ä®In the faith of confessors,‚Ä®In the innocence of holy virgins,‚Ä®In the deeds of righteous men.‚Ä®I arise today, through‚Ä®The strength of heaven,‚Ä®The light of the sun,‚Ä®The radiance of the moon,‚Ä®The splendor of fire,‚Ä®The speed of lightning,‚Ä®The swiftness of wind,‚Ä®The depth of the sea,‚Ä®The stability of the earth,‚Ä®The firmness of rock.‚Ä®I arise today, through‚Ä®God’s strength to pilot me,‚Ä®God’s might to uphold me,‚Ä®God’s wisdom to guide me,‚Ä®God’s eye to look before me,‚Ä®God’s ear to hear me,‚Ä®God’s word to speak for me,‚Ä®God’s hand to guard me,‚Ä®God’s shield to protect me,‚Ä®God’s host to save me‚Ä®From snares of devils,‚Ä®From temptation of vices,‚Ä®From everyone who shall wish me ill,‚Ä®afar and near.‚Ä®I summon today‚Ä®All these powers between me and those evils,‚Ä®Against every cruel and merciless power‚Ä®that may oppose my body and soul,‚Ä®Against incantations of false prophets,‚Ä®Against black laws of pagandom,‚Ä®Against false laws of heretics,‚Ä®Against craft of idolatry,‚Ä®Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,‚Ä®Against every knowledge that corrupts man’s body and soul;‚Ä®Christ to shield me today‚Ä®Against poison, against burning,‚Ä®Against drowning, against wounding,‚Ä®So that there may come to me an abundance of reward.‚Ä®Christ with me,‚Ä®Christ before me,‚Ä®Christ behind me,‚Ä®Christ in me,‚Ä®Christ beneath me,‚Ä®Christ above me,‚Ä®Christ on my right,‚Ä®Christ on my left,‚Ä®Christ when I lie down,‚Ä®Christ when I sit down,‚Ä®Christ when I arise,‚Ä®Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,‚Ä®Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,‚Ä®Christ in every eye that sees me,‚Ä®Christ in every ear that hears me.‚Ä®I arise today‚Ä®Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,‚Ä®Through belief in the Threeness,‚Ä®Through confession of the Oneness‚Ä®of the Creator of creation.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. hatrack4 says:

    Thanks, I needed these.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. oneta hayes says:

    These are hilarious! Thanks for the laughs.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. K.L. Hale says:

    Thank you for making us giggle, Kathy! These are hysterical (I love the one about burying the two in one grave, lol)! I know that I have some Irish. I have not done a DNA kit, but my two sons wanted them for Christmas several years back. My oldest son had the greatest percentage Irish and my youngest son’s greatest percentage was England. I think my twin and I should both do it! Happy late St. Patrick’s Day, Kathy and Paul. It’s been a very hectic week so I’m playing catch up on all my reading. Sending love and prayers always. ūüíöūüĆąūüíö

    Liked by 1 person

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