Being involved in theatre for most of my life has taught me how to become someone else for a short time – to shed my own persona and live in a different time, place or situation. We all wear masks throughout life. We hide behind them because we don’t want people to see our failures or judge us. Masks can cover a multitude of sins, but at the end of the day, they come off and we face reality.
Hiding doesn’t always mean closing yourself off from the world. You may simply not want to bother people with your problems or would rather let them think you’re living the good life. Living in a world filled with trouble – in homes that are less than perfect – relationships that are hanging by a thread – financial burdens, job loss, health issues – we try to hide the truth.
When we’re in the workplace, at school, with a group of fellow Christians, we put on our “perfect” mask. If we bore people with the yuckiness of our lives, we may not have any friends – so we lie and say, “I’m fine.” We might have a mask of “complacency” one day and one of “confidence” another. Each one is covering up the truth.
Our hearts may inwardly be longing for someone to share our situation with, but we feel we’re letting our guard down or becoming vulnerable. I’m currently blessed to be attending a small, country church. This refuge has been like a family to us. We gather to worship, but also to share things that trouble us and to be encouraged by our family. Still, we don’t know the extent of how another might be suffering. We still obliterate those secret sins.
When we ask someone how they’re doing, we don’t always expect the truth. Still it’s tough to leave out the dark parts of our lives. For those things, the only One we can truly trust is Jesus. He walked in our shoes. He knows what sorrow is. He knows the sting of death and disease. He lived a life of poverty even though He bore the title of King. He was tempted personally by the devil. He got tired, ate, taught, drew crowds, yet he never had a home of His own. A man of sorrows they called Him. He knows what our darkest secrets are and He loves us anyway. His life was dedicated to saving the world
The next time you ask someone how they’re doing, listen to their response. Be compassionate, empathic and understanding. We can’t do anything to change another person’s situation, but we can support and pray for them. Usually when someone says, “I’m fine,” it’s just a cover up for a mess they’re dealing with. You might be surprised that someone is pushing through some of the same things you are. That little phrase can be a call for help.
great words my friend…and now I hear Joey from the show Freinds with his loaded
“How you doing” ringing in my head…. 🙂
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I am an introvert who made his living getting in front of a group of people and teaching technical topics. To help spread the Gospel, I taught Sunday school. I have recently thought that what I was doing all those years was to pretend to be someone else. Otherwise, my introversion would consume me. But in the end, it became part of who I am. Thanks for that reminder.
As for asking someone how they are doing? I worked with some wonderful Christians back 45 years ago. You could never say “Fine” or “Blessed”. They always wanted the truth, and more details, please. I guess that was a measure of how close we were.
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I believe it’s a sign of love and compassion, which Jesus commanded us to do. I can’t picture you being an introvert😀.
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As I told the preacher, an introvert doesn’t hate being around people, it just physically tires the introvert to be around people. They need time to recharge their batteries, and if they say that they need space, it should be granted. (The preacher said my words might be in an upcoming sermon. Yikes!)
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So true and such a beautiful teminder, dear Kathy!! 💜💜
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Twice at work and once at home I’ve joked about being in the middle of a tropical depression. Humor can be a great mask. J.
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So true and a mask which I’m quite familiar with. I love your tropical depression!
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It’s slowly drifting to the north, but while it’s still around, it makes a good excuse. J.
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I’m fine.
The two scariest works any husband can hear from his wife.
Good post, though, Kathy.
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I know right?
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