Since I’m about a fifth Irish, I decided to post a few good Irish jokes for this special day.
- ‘I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
- O’Gara was arrested and sent for trial for armed bank robbery.
After due deliberation, the jury foreman stood up and announced, ‘Not guilty.’
‘That’s grand,’ shouted O’Gara, ‘Does that mean I get to keep the money?
- ‘Reilly is walking through a graveyard when he comes across a headstone with the inscription “Here lies a politician and an honest man.” ‘Faith now,’ exclaims Reilly, ‘I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave.
- ‘Hello, Mary, how’s your new false teeth?’ asked Bridget. ‘I’m leaving them out till I get used to them!’ said Mary.
- An American lawyer inquired, ‘Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?’
‘Who told you that?’ asked Paddy.
- An Irish lass, a customer: ‘Could I be trying on that dress in the window?’
Shopkeeper: ‘I’d prefer that you use the dressing room.’
- Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, ‘Is that you I hear spittin’ in the vase on the mantel piece?’
‘No,’ said himself, ‘but I’m gettin’ closer all the time.’
‘O’Halloran,’ asked the pharmacist, ‘did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife’s appearance?’
‘It did surely,’ replied O’Halloran, ‘but it keeps fallin’ off.’
HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY!